(1) Hammacher Schlemmer 74597 Digital Photo Converter
Description: (click show to see it)
And today, on Halloween, is the only day that I can actually go out of the house. Well, by day, I mean after sunset. It's really a pretty busy evening for me, doing all my grocery shopping for the year, meeting with the landlord about rent, maybe catching a show if there's time. But most especially, I try to hit every costume contest that gives away a cash prize. Because it's that money which will keep me going for the rest of the year. Do you know how hard it is to find a job you can do from home after sunset that doesn't include the word "blogger" in the title?
It's sad that, as a Dracinstein, I can't be photographed. Thankfully, modern technology lets me get around that. With my Hammacher Schlemmer Photograph Converter, I'm able to make a digital copy of any non-glossy picture, fast and easy. I've got exposure control, color balance, 10 bits per color channel and a 5 MP CMOS scanner inside. It's basically taking a picture of a picture! And there's no rule that I can't have a picture of my picture taken, is there? No, there's not. I looked it up.
So for the other 364 days of the year, I stay hidden in my mansion, trying very hard to convince the delivery place not to put any garlic whatsoever in my Pad Thai, and converting lots of old pictures with my Hammacher Schlemmer Photograph Converter. Then I draw myself in with a magic marker. I've actually gotten quite good over the years, some people say I could do portraits. But you know the art world, it's really all about who you know. Oh, I'm getting off the subject here, after I draw myself in, I take another picture, and poof! It's like I was really there! It's a Dracinstein's dream!
Naturally, you mere mortals might use it to archive old hand-me-down pictures of great-grandparents, or maybe digitize special photos that you want to keep. It could even be a great family project. But for a Dracinstein like me, it's really just a great way to kill a little time between Halloweens. Hey, if you're ever in the neighborhood, could you maybe knock on the door? I really want someone to play iPhone Monopoly with. I've got the Bluetooth all set up, you won't even need to come in. And if you do, you have my word that when my rampaging fury is unleashed, I'll certainly kill you last. Vlah. Vlah vlah.
Warranty: Lifetime Hammacher Schlemmer
Quickly and easily converts photographs into digital images, preserve your photos for generations to come
Faster and easier than a conventional scanner, this device instantly captures the whole image using a 5 MP CMOS sensor, the same found in digital cameras
Share old photos in a new way
1,800 dpi resolution, 10 bits per color channel, automatic exposure control and color balance, clear, accurate digital images are assured
Photographs are placed into a tray that slides into the converter; the touch of a button records the image instantly
Power and data are transferred though 1 USB port, no additional power adapter required
Please check our <a class="modalPopUp sizingchart" href="http://www.woot.com/SizingChart.htm" title="http://www.woot.com/SizingChart.htm">sizing chart</a> before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.
"The ones with the Rasta lions printed on them? That's just some itally-grown organic coffee from Marley Coffee, the company founded by Bob Marley's son Rohan Marley and Shane Whittle to continue Bob Marley's legacy with ethically-grown, great-tasting coffee."
"Coffee? You sure that's all?"
"I'd brew you a cup and let you see for yourself, if I hadn't left my percolator in my other jacket. I wish I could, too, because this Mystic Morning stuff would wake you right up, with rich, medium-to-full bodied flavors of cocoa, spice, cedar, and cinnamon. Or maybe you'd rather have the sultry, smoky-"
"Smoky, you said?"
"Uh, poor word choice given the situation, but yeah. I just meant, the Jammin Java has a smooth, sweet, earthy, and yes, smoky character with a lingering finish. There's also One Love, a bright, floral-tinged Ethiopian Yirgacheffe with notes of blueberry, cocoa, and spice. When I really need a pick-me-up, I go for the Lively Up Espresso's five-bean punch of dynamically dense espresso flavor, with hints of cocoa, candied fruit, and buttery caramel. But when it's time to mellow out, it's all about the Simmer Down Decaf, a mild but spicy medium roast."
"OK, OK, I get the idea. You're trying to tell me all you have in those bags is coffee. Right. But when I pulled you over, you were listening to reggae. And everybody knows-"
"Oh, you mean Family Time, the Ziggy Marley album-"
"That's the one."
"Oh, uh, it's for kids?"
"Yeah, it's my two-year-old's favorite, and I guess she got me hooked. Its 12 tracks feature Ziggy and an all-star cast assembled by producer Don Was. The likes of Paul Simon, Jack Johnson, Toots Hibbert, Elizabeth Mitchell, and Willie Nelson join Ziggy for a laid-back Jamaican-flavored session inspired by Ziggy's own kids, Judah and Gideon. Is that the one you mean?"
"I guess so. Hmmm. Looks like you're right, there's nothing in these bags but coffee."
Family Time is Ziggy Marley's third solo album and first full-length offering especially for children and families. With original songs newly-composed by Marley himself, the album features a variety of family and friends as guests including Rita Marley (Ziggy s mother), Cedella Marley (sister), Judah Marley (daughter), Paul Simon, Jack Johnson, Willie Nelson, Toots Hibberts (of Toots and the Maytals), Elizabeth Mitchell, Laurie Berkner, Paula Fuga and two stories narrated by Jamie Lee Curtis.
(1) HearthSong Car-Go Gear with Rolling Backpack, Backpack, Pencil Bag, and Wallet
Description: (click show to see it)
So you've finally decided to run away from home? Well, good for you! Many great men got their start by leaving home at such a young age. That's why we've got this HearthSong Car-Go Gear set ready and waiting. It's perfect for taking a chance in the real world!
Oh, yes, I do mean real world. After all, once you run away, you won't have anyone tucking you in at night. You won't even have anyone to cook you dinner! You'll have to live out of your combination rolling suitcase/backpack. But don't worry, this well-sized bit of luggage is ideal for kids who are traveling, just like you'll be doing, very very soon. Be sure you notice that you have two external pockets on the side for additional items, like your favorite toy and a picture of your gerbil. No, sorry, your gerbil can't run away with you. That's silly! Gerbils stay at home! You'll have to just remember him from afar.
That's okay, though, because this great backpack will surely make you lots of new friends. It would have been ideal for school, where all your current friends are, but since you're running away, you'll be leaving all of them behind. Too bad, they probably would have been really impressed with the racer design on the red corduroy front. But maybe you'll enjoy the guys you'll meet when you start trying to find work in construction. If you're not too tired from all that hard work they'll make you do. Don't worry, though, it's easy to learn how to pick up red hot iron with your bare hands.
Well, of course, you'll need a job! That's what men do when they leave home! Here, the HearthSong Car-Go Gear comes with a very nice pencil case that you can use for pencils, pens, coins and markers. Instead of taking it to school like I planned, you can take it to your job instead. You'll probably also need to use it for collateral since you won't have a credit history. What's a credit history, you ask? Well, you'll find out real soon, kiddo, because the real world's calling, and you're running to answer it! Here, let me get the door for you. I'm proud of you, little man! Good luck!
Well? Aren't you going? What? You don't want to run away? Oh, nonsense, you've only got cold feet. Here, take this really cool wallet too. Look, I'll even put a few bucks in it just to get you started. There's room for up to five cards and a zippered compartment for your bills and a pocket on the back for change. Remember, when you're on the streets, you can use the cool zipper design as a weapon. You'll learn that fast. You'll have no choice. Out there, it's survive... or die.
What? Why are you crying? You don't want to run away? Well, we've got this HearthSong Car-Go Gear set all ready. You sure you don't want to go? Really? Okay, okay, well, then how about we pack it all up and drive to see Mommy and your new little sister over in the hospital, hmm? Because they're coming home today, and I know they both want you to be there for them. And on the way you and I can stop and use that money in your wallet to buy a new toy and some ice cream. Yes, I know you didn't really want to run away. Don't worry. I wouldn't have let you go for real. Your old man was just having a little fun. I love you too, kiddo. I love you too.