When Gertie came home with the invitation to Pepper's Halloween slumber party, she was so excited. My husband and I were very hesitant about sending her on her first overnight but, with Pepper being her best friend, we thought it'd be okay.
We didn't realize that when we dropped off the little pumpkin princess at your house last night, we were going to get back a quaking nervous mess of a cucurbita, sir.
Gertrude told me all about it, how you and your wife thought showing MY daughter and her other little friends scary movies on your new Philips 32" LCD HDTV would be good Halloween fun. She couldn't stop trembling as she described, in crisp 1366�768p resolution detail, this Squash Slasher movie that you must have thought would be the perfect fare for a patch of pumpkins not even in junior high. She sat there, stem shivering, as she told us how the screams of those young pumpkins on screen, delivered through the Dolby Digital and Virtual Surround Sound of your home theatre system, still echoes through her daydreams. She sobbed as she recounted the most horrid scenes of carving and roasting and bailing horrors burned into her mind by the Philips Pixel Plus HD technology that provided such quality details and depth of each pumpkin's death.
Well, I certainly hope that you and your wife are happy, Mr. Pumpkin. I'm certain that I'm not the only parent who will NOT be allowing their child to attend anymore sleepovers at your house. Expect a bill for all the therapy she'll need.
"It's a fine night for the Annual Kingston Cove Zombie Pirate Attack, don't you think, Bob?"
"That's right, Sandra. I don't know about you, but Captain Deadbeard's annual stumble and stagger down Main Street is one of the highlights of my holiday season. You know, before his gruesome, bloody death at the hands of some of Kingston Cove's earliest settlers, Deadbeard placed a curse on our fair city, promising to return every Hallow's Eve to wreak havoc and misery in his awful, undead wake."
"Is it true he'd eat the babies, Bob?"
"Aye, matey. Why, he'd slaughter young and old alike, feeding on the flesh of the living until the sun rose the following morning and he'd return to his watery crypt. Of course, that was before Horatio Algus von Strasser, whose statue stands tall in the center of town, uncovered the secret that would drive our favorite zombie pirate back to Davy Jones' locker way back in 1845. Since then, our fair city has turned this once horrific event into a fantastic spectacle for families everywhere!"
"Look! There he is! Deadbeard once again walks the earth, and is making his way toward Town Square! Will you look at those kids lining the sidewalks, Bob? It's heartwarming to see all these children waving their plush zombie parrots at our old seafaring friend."
"And who's that pretty young lady standing next to the mayor at the square waiting to greet him, Sandra?"
"Why, that's Little Miss Kingston Cove 2009, the tap dancing dynamo who won the hearts of everyone at this year's fair. She'll be presenting the good captain with his special gift this evening."
"He's just about shuffled his way there. He's reaching out with his skeletal hands. I am trembling with anticipation, Sandra."
"She's handing him the gift now. He's taken the ceremonial ship's wheel of his former vessel. He's putting it in his pants! Here's the moment we've all been waiting for! The moment when we can declare it to truly be Halloween!"
"YAR! IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS!"
"And just listen to that crowd cheer, Sandra! Look at those fireworks! Halloween has officially arrived in Kingston Cove!"
"There he goes, ladies and gentlemen, lumbering back to his cold ocean tomb for another year through a shower of confetti and glitter as the Kingston Cove High School Band plays him off into the night. Good evening, fair captain! Rest well."
Wear this shirt: while illegally downloading sea shanties.
Don't wear this shirt: to a Fratelli family reunion.
This shirt tells the world: "Ye intruders beware. Crushing death and grief, soaked with blood of the trespassing thief."
We call this color: Putrid Parrot Green
To guarantee you have this for Halloween, you'll want to overnight. Otherwise, you roll the dice with SmartPost
Design Placement: Centered
3X - S: 15" x 17.14" WXL - WS: 11.25" x 12.85" K12 - K4: 9" x 10.28"
Please check our <a title="http://www.woot.com/SizingChart.htm" href="http://www.woot.com/SizingChart.htm" class="modalPopUp sizingchart">sizing chart</a> before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.
Yeah, roll them eyes, grammarians, because we ain't gonna stop you. Over here, you can wine all you like. Get it? That's right, you english majors love puns as much as you hate non-Chaucerian slang. Whatevs. Anyway, check it, we got a three-teet today. Three Michael David Petite Sirahs.
First up: The 2007 Petite Petit. Petite means little, but this wine is large. It's opaque dark purple with an inviting violet and plum-like bouquet, silky and smooth on the palate. And it's the jam. Black current jam, to be precise, droppin' little blackberry bombs with a few vanilla samples in the bassline.
Then there's the 2005 Earthquake Syrah to shake things up. This reserve level wine has major concentration and over 15% alcohol with bold tannins. Your nasalmograph will register the initial shock of pure red fruit and dark baker's cocoa, followed by the aftershock of espresso, chocolate covered cherries, spiced cedar and an intimidating amount of black raspberry. Hints of vanilla and plum will finish off your palate like a one two punch.
Finally, like a gentle breeze, the 2007 Windmill Petite Sirah will sooth away your taste tensions. The super-ripe blackberry and brown sugar share a touch of oak and spice that have you off the hook. Pick a hook, any hook, and after a sip of this you won't be on it. The rich Lodi sun and cool San Francisco breezes make for a great Petite Sirah you'll love to taste.
Right here, see, is some wine that covers all the bases. It comes hard and strong and leaves soft as a kitten. If you want a three pack that'll take care of all your needs, you're wanting this Michael David Petite Sirah Trio. Can you dig it, Horatio?
(1) Excalibur VR18 Turbo Grip 16bit Plug and Play Game
Description: (click show to see it)
So when the time came for us to buy a video game system, it had to be something that appealed to each and every one of their peculiar interests. And it had to be cheap. My monthly mayonnaise budget alone would bankrupt lesser households.
That's why the Turbo Grip 16bit Plug and Play Gaming System is ideal for a family like ours. We just plug it into those yellow and red holes on the TV and the kids line up for their favorites. With Dominic, it's always Pool Pro. Julie likes Lucky Queen. Cadyn's into Bubble Blaster. Wally never seems to stop eating, so Yummy is his game of choice. And sweet, animal-loving Janet can't get enough Tiger Rescue. It's so cute.
Between aspiring oil magnate Fitzroy's affection for Seek the Resources, and Fitzhugh's talent for Plumber, I know I'll be taken care of in my old age. My punk son, Scab, plays a lot of Punk Rock, while my goth daughter Raven is obsessed with Deep Storm and my hippie son Groundhog prefers Busy Bong. Agnes always seems lost in a Dream Bubble, while only madcap Curly could love a game called Pinball Fish.
I could go on, but instead I'll leave you with an example of how the Turbo Grip 16bit Plug and Play Gaming System has brought us all a little closer together: until I saw him playing Totally Jet, I never really felt like I understood my son Maverick.
Warranty: 90 Day Excalibur
Recommended Ages: 6 Years +
Plugs directly into your television set, no video console or external platforms are required (via video and audio cable)
Button functions include: reset, turbo, on/off, start, A button, B button