(1) Energizer XP18000 Universal 18000mAh Portable Battery Pack and Charger
Description: (click show to see it)
I mean, I consider myself a person of deep integrity and substance and sensitivity, someone who honestly seeks a genuine connection with a kindred soul. So why should I settle for ugly chicks?
Then I found something that worked like The Game and Axe Body Spray rolled into one: the Energizer Universal 18000 mAh Battery Pack. I haven't found a supermodel, regular model, aspiring model, or former model yet who doesn't appreciate versatile and portable power for their mobile devices. Just charge it up at an AC outlet and you're carrying around enough juice for up to 6 extra hours of laptop use, 112 more hours of cell phone talk time, or 540 additional hours of MP3 playback. It includes 15 tips for use with a wide range of phones, laptops, and other devices, including the iPhone. And if none of them are compatible with your specific device, Xpal will send you up to two tips per year for the cost of shipping. I'm not even a chick, and this thing is making me hot for myself.
When I told this super-fine barmaid that the Energizer Universal 18000 mAh Battery Pack could charge three devices at once, she spelled out her number on the bar with lime-peel curls. The last time I'd tried talking to her, she'd tased me. But she's tasing a whole new tune now, believe me.
It was like that all over town. The difference was night and day. One minute I'm a cold stiff, the next I'm hot stuff - and I owe it all to the Energizer Universal 18000 mAh Battery Pack. I couldn't think of a better way to spend that unexpected inheritance from my long-lost billionaire uncle.
Warranty: 3 Year Energizer
18000 mAh power capacity using lithium polymer battery cell technology
Charges and powers any laptop anytime, even with a dead battery
Charge up to 3 devices at the same time
Ready to use, comes pre-charged out of the box
Rechargeable battery pack with multiple outputs ideal for powering and charging iPod, MP3 players, cell phones, bluetooth, portable DVD players, portable gaming systems, camcorders, laptops and, Netbooks
After the initial charge, regular charging takes about 3 to 4 hours
Easy to use, just plug in for instant power
TSA approved and safe
Energy Star certified with full charge auto shut off
Helps keeps unwanted heat out of your device
Maintains a charge up to one year
Utilizes a mathematical circuit control unit with built-in proprietary software to control and regulate temperature, voltage and current
Receive (2) tips per year as long as you remain an XPAL Power Product user (shipping and handling charges apply)
Apple laptop tip not available
If you did not get the right tips with your purchase, make your selection online. XPal will ship your power tips within 5 working days
If XPAL does not have the tip you need, they will find it for you
You are responsible for the shipping and handling fee for each tip
Supported Charging Devices:
Laptops up to 6 hours extra (based on specifications for a 4500 mAh Laptop)
Digital Camcorders up to 18 hours extra (based on specifications for a 1200 mAh Digital Camcorders)
Cell Phones up to 112 extra hours of talk time (based on specifications for a 680 mAh Cell Phone)
MP3 players up to 540 hours of extra music (based on specifications for a 850 mAh MP3 player)
Bluetooth up to 612 extra hours of talk time (based on 100 mAh Bluetooth)
Gaming Devices up to 96 extra hours of play (based on specifications for a 1000 mAh Gaming Device)
Digital Cameras up to 7000 extra photos (based on specification for a 1200 mAh Digital Camera)
Corn of the Dead $10.00 + $0 shipping -or- $5 expedited shipping
(1) Black Woot Tee
Description: (click show to see it)
Oh, wow, man, those old candy corn movies, like, they're not just about the scares, man, they're about the subtext, like, you know, the innner meaning, like, check it out, the one where the candy corn rises from the grave, you know, they're all blue, which, you know, is like, see, blue candy corn, you know, which comes from Mexico, so, like, it's about the fear of the outsider taking what's ours, right, like, a wave of unstoppable terror destroying our way of life and converting it to theirs, you know, and that, like, plays into the idea of what the zeitgeist is, like, all about inside, you know, and so when they, like, freak out and, sort of, like, get scared, it's because, you know, inside they're all, if you will, fearing the outsider, you know, that really is the insider they can't stop, because it's all about control, like, you know?
Also that scene in the middle where the one orange one got eaten was totally sweet. He was all BLARRRRRGH and it was all GNAAAAR and they were all AAAAAAAA and I think I got it linked if you want to see it. Hey, you like Takashi Miike?
Wear this shirt: wrapped around your head to add an extra layer of protection between the cruel world and your delicious brains. You know how irritating it can be to have to unwrap a burrito when you're really really hungry? Same principle applies here. At least you can make 'em suffer a little.
Don't wear this shirt: if you are a beautiful woman who will be running through the woods in heels. It's only going to get torn off of you before you succumb toplessly to the onslaught. We know it's sexist and unfair, but that's just how the genre works.
This shirt tells the world: "They're coming to get you, Prof. Hotpants."
We call this color: Black And White Zombie. Side by side on my piano keyboard. Oh lord. Why can't we?
To guarantee you have this for Halloween, you'll want to overnight. Otherwise, you roll the dice with SmartPost
Design Placement: Centered
3X - S: 14" x 16.51" WXL - K4: 9" x 10.61"
Please check our <a title="http://www.woot.com/SizingChart.htm" href="http://www.woot.com/SizingChart.htm" class="modalPopUp sizingchart">sizing chart</a> before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.
(1) 8-piece K�nstler Cutlery Knife Set by Connoisseur
Description: (click show to see it)
Every Halloween, it's the same. I wait for the black of night to fall. I make my way to the Old Hinklin pumpkin patch just outside of town. Once inside the fences, I look out over the field, admiring the crop.
It is then that I reveal the 8-piece K�nstler Cutlery Knife Set by Connoisseur inside my bag. One by one, I remove each of the blades from the sturdy wooden display block, admiring their fine stainless steel and full-tang construction that not only offer me confidence, but comfort for the awful task at hand.
And then my dark work begins.
The pulp and the seeds scatter and splatter. The ease at which the flesh of each pumpkin separates under the edge of my steely friends causes a toothy grin to crawl across my face. And as I carve and slice my way through the madness, I think of my father, killed by that truck of pumpkins so many years ago. That horrible horn, the squishity-squish-squish of his awful murder under the rhines of the Orange Menace, they haunt me still. Only this yearly squash-icide can halt that horrid scene from playing in the theater of my mind night after night.
It ends when every last gourd in the field has felt my wrath. There, among the muck and the slime of the patch, I sit among the carved pumpkins, all glaring at me with the face of my dead father, tears streaming down my pulp-stained cheeks. I then gather my tools, whose Bakelite handles will make clean-up the easiest task of the night, and return home, satiated for another year.
Now, we are at the end of another October. The horrible yearning for pumpkiny death begins anew. I hope you can hear the screams of the Cucurbita, father, and that they please you as much as I.