Monday, August 31, 2009
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|title = Wilson Youth Backpack |subtitle = You Take Summer Off, But Then They Pull You Back In |price = $2.49 |condition = New|product =
Now, Vito, I noticed you have a new backpack today. Oh, it's a Wilson Youth Backpack? Yes, it's very nice. I see the two side mesh sleeves that can hold things like waterbottles or maybe a baseball bat. In fact, I see you have a baseball bat right now. And it looks like that baseball bat's been used recently. Have you been using that baseball bat on the playground, Vitobert?
Vito, I know that you've got a bit of a reputation at this school as the kind of person who does what it takes. I suspect if I looked in that front zippered 5" x 7" pocket, I'd find a whole bunch of cards and some dice. I also suspect that if I opened the front double-zippered 7" x 14" compartment, I'd find a lot of lunch money. Lunch money that, hypothetically, people might be giving you through an underground casino that's open every day during nap time.
Vito, I'm not condemning you. A young man's business is a young man's business. But there comes a time when a young man needs a mentor, you understand. Someone to protect him from, say, a surprise raid by the principal? A mentor like that, Vito, a mentor like that can cost... I don't know... ten percent? Right off the top? How's that sound to you, Vito?
What? You expected this? Vito, I must say, you show a lot of promise for a second grader. Or are you a third grader now? The Wilson Youth Backback is so stylish, it works for almost any age. Either way, you must see that my offer is very fair. Ten percent and I let this little "learning experience" continue? Vito, why are you smiling? Come, Vito, it's not a "shakedown", it's just the cost of doing business. Oh, you brought something from home today? Something for me? Do you mean an apple or something, Vito, because you're not making any sense. You say I should look in the main zippered compartment of the Wilson Youth Backpack? Well, I suppose I could, but I don't see how it will make me change my mind about wanting a... is that... is that a horse's head? Is that my horse's head? Khartoum? Is that you?
...Vito, after some consideration, I have decided that I won't require that ten percent after all. And I'll do my best to make sure your little enterprise stays open for as long as you need it to be. A free carton of milk whenever I visit? Oh, Vito, you're too generous. Grazie, Vito, grazie. Molto bene. My best to your family.
Warranty: <a target="_blank" href="http://www.woot.com/user/warrantyinfo.htm">90 Day Woot Limited Warranty </a>
- Size: 10"(W) X 6.5"(D) X 17"(H)
- Main zippered compartment for equipment
- Two side mesh sleeves with adjustable straps to hold bats or waterbottles
- Front zippered 5"(W) X 7"(H) pocket for valuables and accessories
- Front double-zippered 7"(W) X 3"(D) X 14"(H) compartment
In the box:
- Wilson Youth Backpack
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