(1) Daiwa Men's or Women's Stand, Cart or Carry Golf Bag
Description: (click show to see it)
As a professional murderer, I'm always looking for new and practical ways to transport rifles and shotguns. The classic standby, of course, is the stringed instrument case. Classic it may be, but I find it problematic in a couple of key ways. First, it's a conversation-starter. Carry a violin case around town for a while and see for yourself. People ask how long you've been playing, are you in town for a concert? Who are your favorite composers? Et cetera.
Not only am I disinclined to get chatting with the civilians on my way to and from a job, I don't actually know anything about music. And I sure don't want to start taking private lessons at my age just so I can talk music theory with some curious extrovert on the train and buttress the cover story for my firearm. Instrument cases are no good.
Ski bags aren't bad, though they look a little conspicuous out of season, or on any job that takes you to a mountainless region.
For me, what's worked the best is a golf bag. No one asks you about your golf bag. What could possibly be more boring than a conversation with a stranger about golf? Besides, even if some dumb sap does ask you about your game, you can brush him off easy, just smile and say "oh, don't ask. I'm terrible with these things."
Try that with a cello! A grown man doesn't tote a cello around unless he can play the thing. But schlepping a bag of clubs, even though you're completely hopeless on the links? That's perfectly natural.
My favorite bags so far have come from the Daiwa line. There are plenty of colors to choose from--I like something inconspicuous. Y'know, black. Tan. They're sturdy, lightweight nylon, so they're not too bad to carry. The shoulder straps adjust to fit (I'm kind of a big guy) and are comfortably padded.
The first one I bought, I accidentally picked up a ladies' model by mistake. What do I know from golf gear, anyway? I gave it to my girl Angie, who--I rue the day--decided since she had a bag, she'd take up the sport. She bought a <a href="http://sellout.woot.com/">a couple of woman's clubs,</a> paid for a membership at a local course and started right in to hacking up the fairways. A couple months ago, she'd never set foot on a golf course. Now, just like that, she's all of a sudden the most destructive turf ruiner in four counties.
These days, whenever I'm home between jobs, she makes me shoot a round with her. I had to get another bag, this one just for clubs! (When you're out with a foursome and they all think you're in "sales," you don't want to go reaching for your pitching wedge and accidentally pull out the Mossberg 590.) So that's three golf bags I've bought, and until six weeks ago, I didn't even golf.
Fortunately, I got a connection where I can get 'em cheap.
Sometimes I read a book that makes me really sad. I get so involved with the characters, even if they're animals, that I just can't take it when something bad happens to them. What kind of cruel world do we live in, that such lovable, sensitive creatures could be treated this way? They never hurt anybody in all their lives, and they don't deserve such pain and suffering. It's just about the saddest thing ever.
So you know what makes me feel better? A big platter of barbecued meat! Mmmm!
Wear this shirt: as part of that tough-guy front you put up to make the world think you're impervious to emotional pain. We'll know you're crying on the inside.
Don't wear this shirt: around my daughter, please. She thought the spider dying was sad enough.
This shirt tells the world: "I know it's not compatible with what happens in the story, but barbecued spider meat is just gross."
We call this color: All Cows Eat Grass, But Pigs Don't.
Design Placement: Centered
3X - S: 14" x 15.83" WXL - WS: 10.5" x 11.87" K12 - K4: 8.5" x 9.61"
Pantone Color(s): 4525C - Pantone Black 2C
Please check our <a class="modalPopUp sizingchart" href="http://www.woot.com/SizingChart.htm" title="http://www.woot.com/SizingChart.htm">sizing chart</a> before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.
Hold, mortal! 'Tis no mere bottle of wine you now hold - but an enchanted vessel imprisoning me, Triacipedis the White! Thank Eru, Rao, and Crom alike that my deliverer has at last arrived! When my enemies turned me into a blend of 36% White Riesling, 32% Sauvignon Blanc, and 32% Chardonnay, I thought all was lost. All the might of my steadfast companion <a href="http://wine.woot.com/blog/viewentry.aspx?id=6072">T��thstejnn</a> the Red was for naught against such infernal bewitchments!
Doomed to eternity as an easy-quaffing white wine with mouth-watering notes of pears, apricots, peaches, orange blossoms, pineapple, apples, and flowers - such indignity! Small consolation indeed that my mid-palate is long, complex, and richly textured!
Now, listen well, for here is how to break my curse and free me from my bondage! First, get ahold of some wolf's tongue, and - OK, yeah, that's good. Might as well go ahead and open the bottle. You'll have to do that at some point, I guess. Hold fast, T��thstejnn and my other comrades! Thanks to this savior, I shall rejoin the battle soon! Now, draw a seven-pointed star on the ground, about three feet wide, and put the wolf's tongue -
Hey, what are you doing? Why are you getting those glasses out? This is no time for a drink! The hour of my deliverance is at hand! Now put those glasses down and get back here and - hey, what's - oh, wait - no, no - you mean to drink me? No! No! Get me out of this glass! Hold, mortal! Stop! This shall not pass! No, wait, please, just - noooooo....!
Woot Cellars Triacipedis:
Blend of 36% White Riesling, 32% Sauvignon Blanc, and 32% Chardonnay