Kid, by the time we're done every paper in America will run out of Z's. First you need a name with some zip, like, I dunno, picture this: Vornado Zippi Fan! Yeah, that's the stuff. Dress you up in a few zap-pow-type colors. Take you out on the road, which'll be a snap with your compact design. Let 'em get a load of your safe, easy-clean nylon blades. Let 'em feel that fresh air hit their faces like a breath of fresh air. They won't know what hit 'em. Figuratively, that is. Literally, they'll know it was the Vornado Zippi Fan. Who else, right?
I'm talking pep. Spark. Dazzle. Vim. Whatever it is, kid, you got it dripping off your permanently lubricated motor. You got so much of it they're gonna have to start coining new words for it, like "pezzipple" and "zajj". Kid, with pop like yours, you can bet your razzmatazz you'll never wind up on some chintzy deal-a-day web site. Now whaddya say we sell some sizzle?
Warranty: 3 Year Vornado
2 speed electric motor with fan head that can adjust to any vertical angle
Soft cloth blades quietly propel air, and are also safe to touch while the fan is in motion
Folds to a compact size that is small enough to carry in a suitcase, backpack, or briefcase
Ba Ba Ba Oo Ma Mow Mow Ba Ba Oo Mow Mow Mow $10.00 + $0 shipping -or- $5 expedited shipping
(1) Baby Blue Woot Tee
Description: (click show to see it)
Worms love their children just like we do. They just teach them differently. For example, worms have a different sense of when and how to teach sexual education. And they tell different proverbs to their young.
In worm school, the children learn things like "once bitten, two worms" and "give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you should be put before a war crimes tribunal". And every young worm knows the old adage "Worms who'd be great, all should sleep late".
And that's why the worm stock market opens at 2:30 pm on Saturday, and also why no bankers have ever invested in the worm stock market! Would you like this pamphlet on how the global bird conspiracy has crushed true freedom almost completely?
Wear this shirt: first thing in the morning. Roll out of bed just before noon and it won't really resonate, now will it?
Don't wear this shirt: in your hand. That'll mean eight in the bush, and that's probably possible but it'll be really crowded and uncomfortable.
This shirt tells the world: "Yeah, they almost hired me at Twitter."
We call this color: It's All Over Now, Baby Bluebird On My Shoulder, It's The Truth Hurts Little Girl, Cause It Hurts Like Hello Mudda, Hello Fadda, Here I Am At Yes, All These Hits And More Can Be Yours! Order Now!
Design Placement: Centered
3X - S: 12" x 9.41" WXL - K4: 9" x 7.05"
Yeah, it's one of those mornings. Last night I went fifteen rounds with Kid Cabernet and the decision was as split as my skull feels right now. I'm seriously considering moving to one of those states that Wine.Woot doesn't ship to, for my own good.
But no, no. I can take it. All I need is a good, stiff cup of decent coffee. Make that great coffee. Make that Thanksgiving Coffee, the organic, sustainable, fair-trade coffee with a soul as pure as its flavor.
Let's see, what'll it be? The double-caffeinated Pony Express? The elegantly tropical light-roast Kona Blend? Byron's Maracaturra, a fruity, floral, smooth hybrid varietal developed just for Thanksgiving by Nicaraguan grower Byron Corrales? Maybe the Gorilla Fund Coffee, a rich Rwandan light roast produced by both Hutu and Tutsi farmers, with a portion of the profits donated to the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund? Or maybe Noyo Harbor French, Thanksgiving's punchy signature French roast?
Aw, man. State I'm in, I'm in no mood to decide. So I won't. I'll have a cup of each. That oughtta get me ready for the day. Ahhh...that's the stuff. I can see why they call it Thanksgiving Coffee, because I'm feeling pretty grateful right now myself.