(1) Sharper Image TSI-1002 Airborne 3 Piece Luggage Set
Description: (click show to see it)
Face it, wherever you're headed, you aren't going to arrive in style. With your ill-fitting get-up, your shuffling gait, your scoliotic posture, and your astonishing propensity to sweat, you're a walking counterexample to the argument that travel is "glamorous."
That's cool, we don't judge you. That's your look, or lifestyle, or whatever it is. But we kind of feel bad for your travel iron. When it was sitting on the shelf at Brookstone, it probably fantasized about being bought by Sylvester Stallone or someone like that, and steaming the wrinkles out of pricy dress shirts in the bathrooms of Europe's finest hotels. Now look at it: Unceremoniously lugged across the terminal in an old plastic shopping bag from Rite-Aid en route to a connecting flight for Pellston, Michigan.
Wouldn't it be nice, just once, for that travel iron--and indeed, all your stuff--to ride first-class in a swanky three-piece luggage set from the Sharper Image's 'Airborne' collection. Check it out, y'all, this bad-ass baggage has an aluminum trolley frame with four double wheel spinners, ABS molded bumpers, Santoprene zipper pullers, the works.
Remember that time at what's-his-name's wedding? When you guys all rode in the stretch limo? With the tinted windows? And people on the sidewalk thought maybe you guys were celebrities in there, because they couldn't look inside to see you were just a bunch of no-account putzes?
Your stuff will feel like that. People will see it riding the carousel in baggage claim and wonder "whose stuff is in the sweet ballistic nylon bags? I bet it's all silk shirts with French cuffs in there." Little will they have to know your clothes look like the leftovers from the estate sale they held when Grunge died.
Warranty: Lifetime Manufacturer
Three-piece luggage set from the Sharper Image 'Airborne' collection
Set includes 30" Upright Spinner Bag, 26" Upright Spinner Bag and 21" Upright Carry-on Bag
Aluminum trolley frame with custom 4 double wheel spinners (spinner wheels on 30" and 26" bags only)
ABS molded bumpers
Santoprene zipper pullers
Add-a-bag strap with release buckle
Soft touch Santoprene handle
ID holder with slide in card
Scratch and water resistant fabric
Inside removable toiletry bag
Front quick-access pocket
Three-piece upright molded frame keeps luggage in great shape
Available in charcoal and orange color options
Made of durable and lightweight 1682 Ballistic Nylon impact resistant material
It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. Not that Chameleon Smith noticed. Chameleons can't count. They aren't even smart enough to wonder why every inhabitant of Airstrip Chamele-One has the first name Chameleon. You or I might ask why, in that case, first names are even necessary. But not Chameleon Smith. He never asked any questions. Perhaps out of fear of Big Brother and the unspeakable tortures that went on in Room Whatever-The-Number-Is. More likely, reptiles just aren't that smart, and can't talk. Makes enforcing totalitarianism pretty easy. Not much thoughtcrime among citizens who barely have thoughts.
Wear this shirt: to the reptile house. You'll blend right in. HAW HAW
Don't wear this shirt: in front of your telescreen, or anywhere else the Thought Police can see you.
This shirt tells the world: "That one guy was right. The lizards are running everything."
We call this color: War Is Peace, Freedom Is Slavery, Ignorance Is Brown.
Design Placement: Centered
3X - S: 11.5" x 14.57" WXL - K4: 8.62" x 10.92"
Yeah, it's one of those mornings. Last night I went fifteen rounds with Kid Cabernet and the decision was as split as my skull feels right now. I'm seriously considering moving to one of those states that Wine.Woot doesn't ship to, for my own good.
But no, no. I can take it. All I need is a good, stiff cup of decent coffee. Make that great coffee. Make that Thanksgiving Coffee, the organic, sustainable, fair-trade coffee with a soul as pure as its flavor.
Let's see, what'll it be? The double-caffeinated Pony Express? The elegantly tropical light-roast Kona Blend? Byron's Maracaturra, a fruity, floral, smooth hybrid varietal developed just for Thanksgiving by Nicaraguan grower Byron Corrales? Maybe the Gorilla Fund Coffee, a rich Rwandan light roast produced by both Hutu and Tutsi farmers, with a portion of the profits donated to the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund? Or maybe Noyo Harbor French, Thanksgiving's punchy signature French roast?
Aw, man. State I'm in, I'm in no mood to decide. So I won't. I'll have a cup of each. That oughtta get me ready for the day. Ahhh...that's the stuff. I can see why they call it Thanksgiving Coffee, because I'm feeling pretty grateful right now myself.