(1) Sandisk Sansa View 8GB Media Player with FM Tuner, 2.4" LCD and microSD expansion slot
Description: (click show to see it)
Haven’t we suffered enough, with the delays, and the pointless security pageantry, and the overbooking, and the prohibition on outside beverages, and the nickling-and-diming for basic human comforts? Do you really have to throw “Three and a Half Men” into the mix, too?
We’ll admit: There was a time, years ago, before personal media doohickeys became widely available, when it would probably have seemed kind of cool to put tiny teevees in the backs of the seats. But you didn’t have them then. Instead, you have them now. And the thing about now is that anyone who wants to watch videos during his flight can just bring along a Sandisk Sansa View. It’s slim and lightweight for easy portability, and it holds eight gigs’ worth of video. (It’s got a microSD™ expansion slot for more memory, too.)
Plus, every Sansa View owner can stock his or her media player with stuff he or she actually wants to watch. That beats channel-surfing from New York to Chicago only to discover that in-flight TV hasn’t got any better programming than terrestrial TV. Hey, “Everybody Loves Raymond” is on. Click. Hey, “The Amazing Race” is on. Click. Hey, Sean Hannity is on. Click. Hey, they’re showing “Marley and Me.” Click.
“Hey,” we can almost hear in-plane boob-tube apologists whinging, “if you don’t like it, turn it off! Some people appreciate a distraction from the stress of flying.”
First of all, if you pulled passengers’ toenails out with pliers, it would also distract them from the stress of flying. That doesn’t mean we’d be grateful. And secondly, we’ve found that you can’t actually turn the sets off. (Well, you can, but they just keep reanimating themselves every twenty minutes or so, coming back at you over and over like a slasher movie villain.)
So here’s our proposal: We’ll make the Sandisk Sansa View available at a perfectly reasonable price—well within the reach of anyone who can afford your colossally expensive fares—and you’ll ditch these horrible little seat-back TVs. Fair? That way, everyone who wants to watch videos will be able to, and the rest of us won’t feel so much like Ludovico Technique test subjects. We’ll even show people where to buy <a href="http://www.sellout.woot.com/">a docking speaker for it,</a> though we hope they won’t use that on planes.
Then, with the money you save by not having to operate your awful in-flight “entertainment” system, maybe you can go back to bringing us a cocktail once in a while. Everybody wins.
Warranty: 90 Day Woot
Pocket sized entertainment center, 2.4” screen is great for watching TV shows, movies, or photos
Sleek design, slim, thin and light weight for easy portability, 8.8mm at it’s slimmest part
The Sansa View is a sleek yet simple MP3 player with full motion video capabilities, perfect for you to enjoy your favorite movies and shows while on the go
Backlit scroll wheel and vibrant 2.4” widescreen display make it easy to navigate to a music library or video collection
Digital FM tuner, on-the-fly FM recording, and voice recording
Features microSD™ expansion slot for additional memory capacity
Supports Subscription Music Stores and Video Stores
Memory Capacity: 8GB
Expansion Slot: microSDHC
Battery: 35 hours music & 7 hours video playback
Headphone Jacks: 1
Radio: FM tuner/20 presets
Recorder: Built-in microphone
Supported Music Subscriptions: Yahoo! Music, Rhapsody To Go, Napster, eMusic
Supported Video Services: Amazon Unboxed, MovieLink and Guba
“The most obvious question with respect to X Winery and proprietor Reed Renaudin,” says some guy named Robert Parker in some sort of newsletter called The Wine Advocate, “is how can these wines be this good at these prices?”
Indeed, Mr. Parker, whoever you are – that IS the question. Let us posit an answer. It may shock you. It may disturb you. It may leave you feeling deeply, profoundly indifferent. But it must be considered:
Yes, we contend that the presence of a mutated super-grape chromosome accounts for these so-called X-Wines. And that fact, while unproven, should send a chill through the heart of every winemaker in America. Because soon, if these mutant wines have their way, nobody will be able to get away with selling swill just because it’s cheap.
How else to explain the X Winery 2006 Paso Robles Petite Sirah? Can its superlative aromas of blackberry, cedar, and smoke really be explained by the Templeton Gap’s cool nights and shale soils? Does anyone believe that its dense, complex berry, coffee, and pepper flavors are mere natural phenomenon? In the course of routine testing, we fired a gun at it and the bullets just bounced off. One sip of this super-muscular, steel-plated Petite Sirah proves it’s something beyond typical wine.
The same could be said of the X Winery 2007 Red X Winemaker’s Blend. A product of genetic material from all over the North Coast, this bold but harmonious blend displays powers of wild cherry, cinnamon toast, cashew, and cranberry that defy ordinary explanation, along with soft and supple tannins the likes of which have never before been seen by most scientists. Why? Because most scientists don’t make all that much money, and they’re not used to being able to afford wines this good. If Red X was a person, it would probably shoot red beams of pure flavor out of its eyes.
And so we turn to the final member of this fantastic three, the X Winery 2005 Amicus Napa Valley Special Blend. Rich. Concentrated. Intense. Velvety. Most of all, dark. Dark cherry and dark chocolate on the nose. Those same dark flavors on the palate. A long finish that lingers like some sort of dark phoenix. The darkness beckons us, tempts us, whispers dark promises into our noses. And it’ll only get more powerful with age.
We admit that our argument has a few holes, such as the complete absence of objective evidence. But consider this: if it was mortally possible to produce such excellent wines at such low prices, why wouldn’t more people be doing it? Either Reed Renaudin (if that is his real name) has discovered a method for mutating X Winery’s grapes to give them supernatural powers over the human palate, or other wineries charge too much for wine that’s not that good. Which is easier for YOU to believe?
2005 Amicus Napa Valley Special Blend
Vineyard: 98% Napa Valley Spring Mountain, 2% Lake County
Blend: 51% Cabernet Sauvignon, 28% Merlot, 11% Petit Verdot,10% Cabernet Franc
Aging Info: 30 months, 100% French Oak, 50% new
TA: 6.62 g/L
RS: <1 g/L
Free SO2 at bottling: 30 ppm
Cases produced: 400
2006 Paso Robles Petite Sirah
Vineyard: Templeton Gap area
Blend: 85% Petite Sirah,15% Syrah
Aging: 18 months in 50% French Oak, 50% American Oak & 20% New Oak
TA: 5.93 g/L
RS: < 1 g/L
Production: 224 cases
Released: September 2008
2007 Red X Winemaker’s Blend
Vineyard: 76% Lake County, 15% Napa County, and 9% Sonoma County
Blend: 60% Syrah, 21% Cabernet Sauvignon, 19% Zinfandel
Aging: 16 months in 19% new French oak, 8% new American oak, 73% neutral oak
TA: 7.5 g/L
RS: <4 g/L
Production: 1200 cases
Released: April 2009