Hey, naysayers. You think this Microsoft Zune 30GB Digital Media Player is a waste of money? You think you can still make jokes about that <a href="http://forums.zune.net/412486/ShowPost.aspx">worldwide Zune shutdown</a>? Well, get this through your thick naysaying skull. The next leap year incident, if it even happens, will happen on the final day of 2012. And you know what? No one will even care. Because we all know that the world is going to end ten days before that.
That's right, naysayers! The thirteenth b'ak'tun comes to a close on December 21st! Worlds will live! Worlds will die! Nothing will ever be the same! And as you ascend into the belly of the bird shaman as he facilitates our planet's forward motion across the dimensional plane, your Zune will still be working perfectly!
Of course, the <a href="http://zuneinsider.com/archive/2008/12/31/30gb-zune-issues-official-update.aspx">fix</a> for that bug is pretty simple anyway. And we can assume it won't take three more years for Microsoft to create a patch. But even if it does, so what? That's a long time for you former naysayers to be enjoying thirty gigs of music, pictures and video. And what about the Zune-to-Zune sharing? With one of these in your hands, you're connected to the web of Zune owners worldwide (assuming they're all standing in range).
Hey, that's sort of strange. A world brought together by Zunes? A world where everyone is tied together electronically, enjoying MP3's, WMAs and ACCs? A world of JPGS and WMVs and MPEG-4s and H.264s? A world with a built-in FM Tuner? A world where anyone can <a href="http://sellout.woot.com/">buy a car adapter for a low, low price</a>? What if the next world that the Mayans predicted... is only for the people who own a Zune? Maybe it's not, maybe nothing will even happen... BUT CAN YOU AFFORD TO TAKE THE CHANCE???
Naysayers, we urge you, don't say nay to saying nay to saying nay. Buy one of these 30GB Microsoft Zunes. It might be the only thing standing between you and an eternity beside a bunch of angry Aztecs.
Warranty: 1 Year Microsoft
30GB hard drive stores up to 7,500 songs, 25,000 pictures or 100 hours of video (128 Kbps)
3" bright color LCD display can be customized with your photos for a personalized appearance
Resolution 320×240, vertical or horizontal orientation
Ultracompact player measures just 0.6" thin and weighs 5 oz.
Supports MP3, WMA and ACC audio formats, displays JPEG image formats plus displays WMV, MPEG-4 and H.264 video formats
Built-in FM tuner with RBDS broadcast signal support to display artist and track title
Equalizer for a customized listening experience
USB 2.0 interface for fast transfer speeds
Zune-to-Zune sharing allows you to use a built-in 802.11b/g wireless interface to share tracks, homemade recordings, playlists and pictures with other Zune users; received tracks expire after you have listened 3 times or 3 days
Flag shared tracks you like for easy downloading later with your Zune Pass (subscription required) in the Zune Marketplace
Up to 14 hours battery life with the built-in lithium-ion battery
Always looking over your shoulder. Trusting no one. Showing no emotion. Sleeping with one eye open and one hand on your pistol, waiting for the wine police to kick in the door. A moment's weakness and we could lose everything.
But we have feelings, too, dammit. We have a sweet side. And today, we're throwing caution to the California wind. We're taking off our armor. We're letting our sweet side show with this four-pack of Goosecross Off-Dry whites. And we don't care who sees it.
Man cannot live by burly Syrahs and serious Cabernets alone. Especially when he's eating Thai, Indian, or Mexican cuisine. He needs something brisk and fresh. Something with an intense citrus, honeyed pear, and ripe melon character. He needs the Goosecross Cellars 2007 Chenin Blanc, a subtly sweet early-harvest picnic wine that Goosecross says may be their best yet. Pair it with premium cheeses or anything spicy for a yin/yang sweet/savory experience.
Say what you will about the French, but at least they seem to have no problem accepting their sweet side. They give Orange Muscat a place of honor in their wine pantheon as "La Fleur d'Orange". But you hardly ever see this abundantly fruity dessert wine in California. So most American wine drinkers are sadly unaware of how this Goosecross Cellars - State Lane 2007 Orange Muscat's sweet orange blossom, honeysuckle, lychee, and melon notes can lushly enhance after-dinner fare like lemon cheesecake, chocolate-dipped strawberries, and fresh fruit. See what you miss out on when you keep your sweet side hidden?
You know what? That felt almost as good as it tasted. It's nice to not have to be the big, bad outlaw for a little while, to indulge our softer, sweeter side. Now, if you'll excuse us, we need to find our pistol. It sounds like somebody's coming up the front walk.