"Bobby, this is Mrs. Freeman, and she's the school guidance counselor. She'd like to talk to you for a little while."
"Okay. Hi, Mrs. Freeman."
"Hello, Bobby. Bobby, we've noticed lately that you seem to be very sad. Do you feel very sad, Bobby?"
"Yes, Mrs. Freeman."
"Would you like to talk about it, Bobby?"
"Well... I guess so."
"You can say whatever you like to me, Bobby. I promise to keep it secret, between us."
"Well, it's... they're so quiet all the time. You can tell something is wrong, but they don't ever talk about it openly. It's scary and I don't know what to do. I just want them to get back together and love each other again and for everything to be like it was."
"It's okay to be scared, Bobby. But sometimes, mommies and daddies just can't be together any more."
"What? Mommies and daddies? Lady, you're way off base. I'm talking about the end of Radiohead's old record deal!"
"Now, Bobby, you don't have to tell make believe stories."
"Stories? Lady, the whole world knows about this one, especially the hardcore Radiohead fans. Some people are actually mad about this Radiohead Limited Edition Box Set and they're spreading all these rumors about it! Like how 'the band doesn't get any money from these' or something. I mean, of course Radiohead gets money! They've sold like a billion records and probably have a whole law firm on retainer, and people think they don't get money? That's just stupid!"
"So... it isn't about your parents?"
"Who cares about parents? You don't seem to understand, this is the band that made Pablo Honey, The Bends, OK Computer and Kid A. Then they did Amnesiac, I Might Be Wrong and Hail To The Thief but no one really blames them for that. People should be happy this Radiohead Limited Edition Box Set even exists, especially since each disc has the original artwork and a digipack sleeve and all the music, just like it was intended to be. How can it be a bad thing to have all the albums of your favorite band in one big package? But for some reason people are acting like... like..."
"...like they're choosing sides in a breakup?"
"Yes! Oh, Mrs. Freeman, it feels so good to talk about this. Why can't it just be about the music again? Why can't people be excited about the additional special streaming footage? Why do people have to spread rumors and make things up? They used to be so happy together! Can't sob can't things just be the sob same again?"
"Oh, Bobby. Let it all out, Bobby. Jeanette, I think we've had a breakthrough here."
"Thank you, Mrs. Freeman. You're a miracle worker."
"_sob_ I thought at least t-t-they'd put out an u-u-unplugged live album or something first like o-o-other bands do w-w-when their contract e-e-ends sob."
"Just close the door, Jeanette. Everything will be okay, Bobby. Now the healing can begin."
Warranty: 1 Year EMI
Entire Radiohead Capitol Records catalog (7 CDs) in a specially packaged box set
Each title faithfully reproduced using original artwork
Repackaged in a digipack sleeve
Access to stream special footage via Digital Insert technology
4 hours 54 minutes and 38 seconds worth of Radiohead music on Compact Disc
I Might Be Wrong
Hail to the Thief
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Okay, places, everyone, places! Don't be such a prima donna, darling, lots of satellites would love this job. And speaking of which, sweetie? Sweetie, you can't be there, this is Earth orbit and you're needing to be down there past Neptune. That's right, in the Chorus. Okay, everyone, this is a big night for us, there's a really important critic here and this all has to go well. Luna, honey, there's a little... yeah, get makeup to work on that. But stay on your mark, we don't have time to redo everything. Saturn, there's a change, you're going to be retrograde tonight, I'm sorry, the producer insisted on it, I know, I'm so sorry. You're a dream. Luna, let me see... perfect. Okay, everyone? Everyone? Deep breath... exhale... deep breath... exhale... okay, we all ready? Ready? Let's knock 'em dead. Remember, you might be just a waiter or waitress during the day, but at night, you're a star! Everybody, places now, the sun is almost gone, and remember, you're playing to the front row tonight, go all out. Four, three, two, one... break a leg everyone!
Wear this shirt: for a month, turning slightly each day but being careful never to show your back. That's not how the moon actually works, but this isn't actually the moon, now is it?
Don't wear this shirt: around werewolves. It probably won't cause any trouble but better safe than sorry.
This shirt tells the world: "Did you know Astronomy was once considered to be an art?"
We call this color: Olive Us Think This Is A Pretty Cool Shirt
Design Placement: Centered
3X - S: 12" x 16.39"
WXL - K4: 9" x 12.29"
What are you doing here, Swiss-Style Truffles? I told you not to come over anymore. You know we can never be together. I'm a wine site. You're chocolate. Wine will always be my true love. I made a promise, and I can't go on running around behind wine's back, lying about me and you, sneaking quickie chocolate sales in here and there when wine's not looking. I know, I know. I feel the attraction, too. But it just isn't meant -
Oh, don't do that. Don't - I - I can't resist when you do that. Remember the first time I tasted you? The rich flavor of the best chocolate Venezuela and the Ivory Coast have to offer? The velvety smoothness of your Irish Cream blend? You touched something deep inside me, something bright and warm and alive. In that instant, I could taste every one of Guy Debas's 25 years of chocolate-making experience. I forgot myself, my life, everything. I just wanted to roll you around on my tongue forever.
But - but - we can't. Please understand. I know, we had a great time when I sold your wine-filled chocolates during this last holiday season. For one golden moment, it seemed like my two worlds could come together in harmony. But it could never last. I have responsibilities, commitments. I don't mean to hurt you, I just need - you can't - oh, oh - darling, please, I - OK. OK, fine. Stay. Stay here with me. I never could say "no" to you. But just until Sunday night. Then we have to go our separate ways. You understand, don't you? Promise me you understand. Promise me.
Thank you. Now, put that coconut cream right... here... mmmm... ooh... that's right... so... right...