(1) eMachines LXN070C008 Widescreen Notebook Celeron 2GHz, 1GB, 120GB, 15.4", Webcam, DVD-RW, Linux OS
Description: (click show to see it)
Notebooks, man. Everybody's going to want one this year. Everybody. You, me, the guy at the deli, the entire cast of "How I Met Your Mother," everybody.
For real. It's going to be the Year of the Notebook! You heard it here first.
OK, so do you know what that means? I'll tell you what it means. It means there's gonna be a huge battle for notebook marketshare. Seriously, in this difficult economic climate? When companies are starved for sales? When they see a growing market, like the notebook market? Shoot, dude, it's going to be Ragnar�k. It's going to be the Clash of the Titans. It's going to be Wrestlemania. Except over notebooks.
Now, if you're an open-source type, this impending epic struggle for the exploding notebook market is great news for you. Why? Because it will provide an opportunity to finally crush the mighty Microsoft beast once and for all!
Well... maybe that overstates it, actually. Instead of "finally crush the mighty Microsoft beast once and for all," let's say "sell quite a few Linux notebooks."
Notebooks like this one, here. I mean--it's got everything a person wants in a portable computer, right? It's got a nice wide screen, respectable Intel Celeron processor, 802.11b/g Wi-Fi Certified network connection, 120-gig hard drive, a DVD drive. It's got a couple USB 2.0 ports for whatever. (I'd use one for a mouse, myself. I hate that little touchpad thing.) It's got an integrated webcam and built-in mic for video-chattin' with your pals. Nice, right?
Sure it is! It's nice enough that there are bound to be people who buy it having never used anything but Windows before. Those people are your initiates. They're your flock. They're your recruits. They could be the future of your community.
But here's the problem. This thing is not exactly user-friendly right out of the box. It boots into a single user mode command prompt. There's no desktop. You're going to have to tinker. No helpful paper clip will magically appear to guide you. If you're a Linux wiz, awesome. But for a user that ain't--well, he's going to want to just give up, or install his own favorite OS, or maybe just curl up into a ball and sob. Maybe he'll call you.
Have you ever tried to get into something new? We've almost all done this: You go into a bike shop, or a record store, or a comics shop, being not an expert on bikes, or comics, or the hottest new bands. And you ask the clerk a question. It's not a stupid question; it's just a beginner's question. It's something that everyone in the bike (or comics or music) scene already knows. And this clerk, this snotty little insecure punk, who has never been the big man anywhere--not at school, not with the ladies, not on the socioeconomic scale, nowhere--well, he's the big man in this shop. He knows all about this stuff, and you don't, and he wants to make sure you understand that, so he belittles you. He gives you this attitude.
Now, he could have acted differently. He could have been excited to share his expertise with someone who's new to his community--who, by joining, would have enlarged and strengthened it. But nooooo. So you leave, kinda annoyed, and you never feel very much like going back, so you end up not really getting all that into cycling (or whatever it is).
That's what your new Linux users are going to face this year, alright? So don't give them guff. Don't treat them like they're morons. Welcome them. Answer their questions. Nurture them. And, I swear, by the end of the year, the community could grow... I dunno, whateverfold. A lot.
And then you can be like: "This sucks; I liked Linux better before it got all big."
Mr. Sanders $10.00 + $0 shipping -or- $5 expedited shipping
(1) Lemon Woot Tee
Description: (click show to see it)
"Why, if it isn't the little toy bear I brought to life!" said the good fairy from just above the meadow. "How are you enjoying the magical gift which I bestowed upon you?"
"Gift?" replied the bear. "Are you serious? Do you know what it's like out here?"
"But," said the good fairy, "surely the very gift of life itself is-"
"Let me explain something to you, sweetie," interrupted the bear. "That leisure class fairy tale crap only works when great-granddad paid off the mortgage back before you were born. Out here you gotta hustle for your berries. And there's a whole pecking order in front of me that doesn't care about me at all, since I didn't grow up here. And you know what they've all got? Claws. Claws that they've been using their whole lives. And since I've spent my whole life getting cuddled in a bed at night, claws aren't really something I'm good with. Not to mention I'm still figuring out the whole eating thing which just started for me last Monday evening. And do you know what bears do in the woods? You didn't think to mention that during your little magic spell, even in passing? Listen, I know you probably meant well, but I'm not cut out for this. Can't you just change me back and hand me to some other kid?"
"Well," the good fairy said sadly, "magic doesn't really work that way. But I'm ever so sorry!"
"Can I eat sorry, lady?" asked the bear. "Can sorry put a roof over my head? Can sorry tuck me in at night, next to my best friend in the whole world, who by the way I'll probably never see again, since I'm kind of a wild animal now? Can sorry do that? Because if it can't, why don't you just kiss off back to the clouds?"
The good fairy felt her wings droop. She'd clearly not considered the long term responsibility implied in making a toy become real. But then, she brightened. She'd had an idea!
"Mr. Bear!" the good fairy yelled. "I know! Have you ever considered using unorthodox marketing copy designed to simultaneously amuse and attract attention to your strengths?"
Wear this shirt: when you're hungry with extra love or you're lonely with extra food. Really, it's two shirts in one.
Don't wear this shirt: if people would get offended by your bear chest. Hey, really sorry about that one, guy who hates the stupid puns. It just slipped out.
This shirt tells the world: "We would also like to thank <a href="http://www.indigo.lu/">Pierre Benker</a> for kindly granting permission for the use of his image in this design."
We call this color: Honey With Lemon
Design Placement: Centered
3X - S: 11.91" x 18.06"
WXL - K4: 8.15" x 12.35"
Darling, when I saw these delicious treats, naturally I thought of you. 'How come,' you ask? Oh, precious, you do have the funniest way with words! Look, it's obvious: First of all, they're delectably sweet, just like you. Yet their sweetness is balanced by complexity, just like yours.
Second, they're presented with the utmost stylishness. Their packaging is, in a word, beautiful. And I know how you value style. Why, you wouldn't dream of even taking the trash out without full makeup and a coordinated ensemble. What's that, gumdrop? Yes, out. It goes out. You know, when the wastebaskets are full. Where did you think it--OK, bad example. You wouldn't think of taking the trash out at all. But my point is--oh, forget it. Moving on.
Third: Like you, these scrumptious morsels have a fiscal prudence about them. Why, the Wall Street Journal itself rated them "Best Overall" and "Best Value" back in February--even at a much higher price than this! I knew someone with your rare subway-token-sucking prowess would appreciate that.
Also, they're "truffles!" Now I know they aren't the kind of truffle that pigs hunt for in the woods, but--forgive me--sometimes I imagine you as one. Particularly when you're out after work at Murphy's, with all those porcine layabouts sniffing and pawing at you!
Finally, just like you, my dear, each of these decadent little goodies is liquid-filled with premium California wines: Cabernet, Port, Champagne and Chardonnay. Speaking of which, you might have left me a glassful, jeeze.
Rated "Best Overall" and" Best Value" by the Wall Street Journal, February 2007
4 packs of 9 wine filled gourmet chocolates.
Hand crafted featuring the finest dark chocolate
Filled with premium California California wines: Cabernet, Port, Champagne, Chardonnay