Wow. You guys are normally so funny but today? I gotta say, you really went too far. That opening teaser for the Aerobed Sport Bed in a Minute II is totally pushing boundaries that you shouldn't be pushing. Jokes like that may be fine in your "locker room" but they shouldn't be on the Internet. At all.
Rev. Hap "Happy" McGeever
Dear Woot Writers,
"In your face" might be the watchword of this digital age, but your opening up there was way way out of line. Decent people use the Aerobed Sport Bed in a Minute II to sleep on because of the velvety soft surface and 9" thickness, as well as the heavy gauge puncture-resistant non-allergenic PVC vinyl. And yet, you found a way to make something dirty out of perfectly innocent words like "velvety soft" and "PVC vinyl". I remember when people in this country only cared about a good night's sleep, and not whatever it is you're peddling. Woot, I don't know how to express my anger towards you. For shame. For shame.
Allison Alexander III
Dear Woot Writers,
What next, fellas? A joke about the durable carry bag? A joke about how the full size handles 650 pounds and the queen size up to 750 pounds? A joke about how the included pump inflates in less than sixty seconds? Oh, wait, are those not dirty enough for your so-called "sense of humor"? You know, my daughters often use the internet and I don't want to have to explain dating to them for, well, let's say thirty five more years. The things you people do with words ought not to be allowed. You better hope you never come near my house at night.
Bobby Van Winkle
Dear Woot Writers,
I HOPE YOU CHOKE AND FALL DOWN AND DIE AND THEN YOUR GHOST DIES AND THEN THE GHOST OF YOUR GHOST HAS TO READ YOUR CRUMMY SITE ALL DAY
THERE IS NO FORGIVENESS FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE NO FORGIVENESS AT ALL
YOU ARE WORSE THAN GEORGE LUCAS AND RICK BERMAN COMBINED
PS: See you for Sunday Dinner?
Dear Woot Writers,
You really should have done another "That's What She Said" writeup for this Aerobed Sport Bed in a Minute II. You're really losing your touch. And why don't you do more writeups about Kevin?
The Rest Of The Staff
Warranty: 1 Year Aerobed
Powerful AC hand-held pump inflates and deflates bed in less than 60 seconds
Coil construction adds extra support
Constructed of puncture-resistant, heavy gauge, non-allergenic PVC vinyl (22 gauge flocked top/16 gauge sides and bottom)
Inflates to a thickness of 9"
Plush, velvety sleep surface
Fits standard size sheets
Rolls up and stores compactly in durable carry bag for easy transport and storage
Full size supports up to 650lbs
Queen size supports up to 750lbs
Queen Size Dimensions:
Weight: 11.81 lbs
L"xW"xH": 78"x 60" x 9"
Full Size Dimensions:
Weight: 10.41 lbs
L"xW"xH": 74"x 54"x 9"
In the box:
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(1) Asphalt Woot Tee
Description: (click show to see it)
Recent studies have proven that the combination of synthetic
hormones and chemicals in our water supply have led to biological
changes. Today's women have up to 21% more snips and snails than the
women of just one generation before. And young boys are becoming
sugared at an alarmingly fast rate.
Maybe it's easy to turn
a blind eye on this problem now, but what about the future? Do we
really want our golden years to be in a world that focuses on puppy dog
tails while glorifying a lack of spice? Take the time now, while
there's still a chance, to make a difference. For the future.
Wear this shirt:
if you want people to ask you why you ate that capybara. You really
should consider cutting back on those. They're just empty calories.
Don't wear this shirt:
around your friend who's really into Slim Goodbody continuity. He's
gonna give you an earful if he sees that Udo Kier lookin' thing in the
liver. Respect the man's religion, please.
This shirt tells the world: "I really should get that fish removed before it becomes cancerous."
Don't misunderstand us. Sweden's a swell country, from their rock
bands to their healthcare system, from their meatballs to their bikini
team. It's on our short list of countries to flee to if the feds ever
get wind of certain activities we're involved in. But they're not known
for their wine, with good reason.
So we can't let you go another paragraph without clearing something up. Swedish Hill is emphatically not
a Swedish winery. They're located in the Finger Lakes region of New
York state, where they've been growing grapes since 1969 and crushing
them since 1985. When founders Richard and Cynthia Peterson passed the
day-to-day workings of the winery to their son David in 1996, it
wasn't just nepotism. David had been a Viticulture Extension Specialist
for a little outfit called Cornell University, so he knew a thing or
two about the family business.
Now you can discover what over
50,000 visitors discover every year: Swedish Hill is freakin' awesome.
Just the four wines here took home three medals in the 2009 San
Francisco Chronicle International Wine Competition. The 2007
Riesling, a crisp white with peachy, peary, and tropical fruity notes,
took home a gold medal. Silvers went to the 2007 Dry Riesling (apples,
pears, and stone fruits into a clean, slightly sweet finish) and the
2005 Optimus, an elegant, full-bodied blend of Cabernet Sauvignon,
Merlot, and Cabernet Franc marked by flavors of cherry, currant, and
spice. The only one left out of the medal count was the 2006 Cabernet
Franc-Lemberger, and that's only because it was produced in an
extrememly limited run. The Cab Franc brings richness and structure,
the Lemberger brings berry fruit and black pepper flavors, and you
bring a palate eager to taste this rare treasure.
We got no
kick against the Swedes. Sure, they were wild back in their Viking
youth, but they seem to have settled into respectability. That still
doesn't mean the place is good for growing grapes. Swedish Hill, on the
other hand, can go cork-to-cork against the best California has to
Appellation: Finger Lakes
Blending Information:Cabernet Franc 53%, Cabernet Sauvignon 39%, Merlot 8%
Harvest Date: October 2-18, 2005 HARVEST BRIX: 22.7 (average)
Vineyard Location: Seneca Lake (east and west sides), Cayuga Lake (west side)