As a frequent patron of <a href="http://wine.woot.com/">the Internet's greatest twice-weekly wine deal site</a>,
I've amassed a massive mass of bottlebound inebriants. My little glass
friends roll in faster than I can drink them, which for me is saying
something since I've already had two liver transplants, with a third
scheduled for Fall 2009. And ever since my ferret tore up the styrofoam
cooler that served as my "wine cellar", I've had nowhere to store the
bottles except on the floor of my garage.
Now, that works
fine except when I run over them with my car. After three or four
slashed tires and splattered Cabernets, I said to myself, "There has to
be a better way." So I embarked on six months of fevered, late-night
invention sessions, of rigorous testing and meticulous engineering in
search of the perfect wine storage unit. At the end of it all, I had
created...a bigger styrofoam cooler.
gave me the Oster 12 Bottle Wine Cellar for Christmas, and I was all,
"Dag." Because if I'd known this thing existed, I'd've skipped the
Thomas Edison midnight-oil bit and just bought one. Would've saved a
lot of time, and maybe my marriage. But hey, no use crying over spilled
Liebfraumilch. Now I'm guzzling to the sweet sounds of the Oster 12
Bottle Wine Cellar, with its electric cooling system and five slide-out
chrome shelves. And wherever my ex-wife is today, I bet her wine is
further from optimal temperature than mine is. Justice tastes almost as
sweet as a properly-stored wine.
We're doing our end of year inventory, so all overnight orders placed 12/31 to 1/2 will ship Monday 1/5.
This is it. The very last shirt. Tomorrow there will be nothing here. Nothing ever again. No more shirt.woot. It's all over.
had a lot of fun, haven't we? You yelled at us, we cried, a few people
bought some nice designs, really, it was a good run. But it was
inevitable, really, that we'd collapse under our own weight and
The person we really feel bad for is Joel. He's got those five kids to feed, and that second wife in <a href="http://www.woot.com/Blog/ViewEntry.aspx?Id=7038">Las Vegas</a>.
What is he going to do tomorrow? Maybe he can use all the leftover
shirts to clean windshields or something. If you see him, try to throw
a quarter his way, okay?
Thanks to everyone for all the
times they stopped in to visit. We really wish we could have done this
forever, but the time finally came for us to... well, son of a gun.
There's a 2009 calendar over on the chair. Look at that, already full
of shirts for the rest of the month and beyond. Wow, do I feel foolish.
It was just the calendar that was ending, not the site. Guess we'll see
everybody tomorrow! And Joel, man, totally sorry about telling
everybody about your secret second wife. Major faux pas on me.
Wear this shirt:
because even the youngest among us are one year closer to having no
years left at all. Just like the Joker would say in "The Dark Knight".
I've basically got that movie memorized now. If it doesn't get the
Oscar the academy loses total credibility forever.
Don't wear this shirt:
if you've got a hangover and just can't deal with this Nine Inch Nails
Twilight crap today. It's a new year, you know? Why don't you turn off
that computer and get some sunshine. Go to the duck pond or something.
Live a little.
This shirt tells the world:
"Some say love, it is a flower, that's given to a crow. Some say love,
it is a dagger, that's stabbed with and not thrown. Some say love, it
shoots off lightning, hovering beside a bone. I say love, it is a
coffin, where blob things make their home."
We call this color:
Asp Halt. We've been waiting since January for someone to give us a
snake stopping shirt but it never happened. Instead we're using the
joke here. It doesn't fit. Please try to be more considerate in 2009.
Design Placement: Centered
3X - S: 12" x 16.79" WXL - K4: 9" x 12.59"
If you're anything like me, you just can't get enough grey. My
clothes, my car, my home decor, my pets - all are varying shades of
this noblest of colors. My hair, naturally a gaudy, self-indulgent
shade of chestnut brown, requires weekly touchups to maintain its
artificial grey dignity. When I watch a Civil War documentary, I root
for the Confederates. When I think about the future, I root for the
grey goo. I only watch my favorite baseball team when they're playing
on the road. Sure, my enthusiasm for grey handkerchiefs has lead to
some uncomfortable misunderstandings in public men's rooms. But on the
whole, as far as I'm concerned, the greyer the better.
when I first heard about this Cathedral Ridge 2007 Pinot Gris, I was as giddy as I am on a rainy day. A grey wine? What a refreshing blast of joy in a field full of drab reds and whites. "Gris", of course, means "grey" in French. (I know the words for "grey" in 48 languages.
Turkish? Gri. Welsh? Llwyd. Nahuatl? Nextic.) The facts that Cathedral
Ridge was named the 2007 Oregon Winery of the Year, and that these
grapes are grown under the ideal PG-producing conditions of the
Columbia Gorge, were nice. But really, they had me at "Gris".
to say, I was tremendously disappointed. No, not by the the way the
wine tasted or smelled or felt. The light-bodied balance between
acidity and lushness was every bit as elegant as promised. The
Cathedral Ridge 2007 Pinot Gris brought hints of green apple, pear,
citrus, and vanilla to the nutty character typical of the varietal. I'm
sure it would be delicious with hors d'oeuvres, light pasta, fish, or
poultry. So what's the problem?
It's not grey.
There are all kinds of wines that are yellow or gold or white or
whatever you want to call this. More fool I for thinking, at long last,
that there was a wine for the greyophiles among us. I guess I'll choke
down the rest of this distressingly non-grey bottle of Cathedral Ridge
2007 Pinot Gris - like I said, there's nothing wrong with the flavor. But when somebody finally wises up to the untapped
grey-fancier market and comes out with a wine truly worthy of the name
"gris", I'll be the guy standing first in line in my flannel suit. No
points for guessing what color.
2007 Pinot Gris:
Picked on October 9, 2007
Fermented in barrel from used American Oak from the Belevedere Winery Chardonnay program
Spent 10 months in barrel before bottling
Underwent malolactic fermentation
Bottled July 30, 2008
This wine.woot is multiple bottles of the same type of wine. We're just showing you the back label now in the product pic.