Transition Team Chair: And Putin assures me that Kim is on
board: no democratization or economic liberalization until after we
take office. They'll be drinking Starbucks in Pyongyang by February.
North Korea will no longer be a problem.
Chief of Staff: Something on your BLEEP mind, Boss?
President-Elect: No. Yeah. Yeah, all those Memorex MVBD2510 Blu-Ray DVD Players
in the White House basement. Thousands of them, supposedly. Sometimes I
wish Bush's people hadn't even told us about those.
Chief of Staff: You want I should BLEEP bump somebody the BLEEP off, Boss?
No, no. That knowledge is just the kind of terrible burden I have to
bear in this office. Point is, we need to figure out what to do with
Transition Team Chair: Sir, I'd suggest that
we keep them for the moment and see if they could be used to our
advantage later. If we could make a bonafide Blu-Ray player available
to the public for less than two hundred dollars, that could have the
potential to clinch your re-election and solidify a permanent governing
Chief of Staff: What the BLEEP is this BLEEP you're peddling? These BLEEP Blu-Ray players are BLEEP old news now. In four BLEEP years they won't be worth BLEEP.
President-Elect: Look, while the Memorex MVBD2510 could bring high-definition Blu-Ray DVDs to American homes across America, <a href="http://www.engadget.com/2008/09/18/memorex-intros-269-mvbd-2510-blu-ray-player/">the fact is that it lacks Profile 2.0</a>,
and the fanciest possible audio decoding. If my administration is about
change, what does it say to the American people of America if we keep
peddling the same tired Blu-Ray players that the outgoing
administration failed to sell?
Chief of Staff: We could just BLEEP destroy the BLEEP players with sledgehammers. No, no, hatchets. Yeah, BLEEP hatchets. BLEEP, I love the feel of a good BLEEP hatchet.
Transition Team Chair:
Or we could point out that Profile 2.0's "features" are essentially
useless frippery. And that most home theater owners will use a receiver
to do their audio decoding anyway, but if not, the Memorex MVBD2510 still offers Dolby TrueHD, Dolby Digital Plus, and DTS-HD High Resolution decoding.
Chief of Staff: Ah, BLEEP it. Let's just BLEEP drag the American consumer into a BLEEP alley someplace to have a nice little BLEEP chat. That BLEEP idiot won't know what the BLEEP hit him. He'll watch his BLEEP DVDs on a BLEEP View-Master if we say so.
President-Elect: No, no, we're not in Chicago anymore. We need a way to get these Memorex MVBD2510 Blu-Ray players off the federal books, but we can't have our fingerprints all over them.
Transition Team Chair: You know, we could always give our friends in Texas a call...
Chief of Staff: Oh, BLEEP. Those BLEEP? They scare the BLEEP out of me. One wrong move dealing with them, and BLEEP, you're liable to wind up in a Bag o' Crap. I never know who the BLEEP they're working for.
President-Elect: They're wild cards, to be sure. But they've always been discreet and professional. Well, semi-professional, anyway.
Transition Team Chair:
We take the Blu-Ray players to them, boom, they're gone in a day. By
the time anybody knows what's going on, the news cycle has moved on.
President-Elect: OK, let's move on that. Through back channels, of course.
Transition Team Chair: Of course.
President-Elect: Wow, my first covert operation! Man, this is fun!
Chief of Staff: I BLEEP still BLEEP say: hatchets.
Progressive scan Blu-ray Disc player with 1080p capability for HD video
Full HD 1080p, DVD up-conversion up to 1080p (480p, 720p, 1080i, 1080p)
Support for uncompressed multi-channel Linear PCM that can output 8 channel audio with help from the HDMI cable and a compatible AV amplifier
Multi-channel audio content supports more advanced Dolby Digital Plus, Dolby TrueHD and DTS-HD
24p True Cinema mode; Movies shot on a film camera consist of 24 frames per second. Since conventional televisions (both CRT
and flat panels) display frames at either 1/60 or 1/50 second
intervals, the 24 frames do not appear at an even pace. When connected
to a TV with 24p capabilities, the player displays each frame at 1/24
HDMI digital interface can output both SD to HD video and multi-channel audio signals, in digital form without degradation
HDMI specification supports HDCP, a copy protection technology that
incorporates coding technology for digital video signals
capacity of a Blu-ray Disc means that a greater amount of data can be
easily stored and delivered.
a shorter-wavelength blue laser, the Blu-ray Disc offers a massive
storage capacity of 25GB on a single-layer disc and 50GB on a
double-layer disc (5x the amount of current DVDs)
uncompromising HD quality video, enables rich bonus content on
a single disc and HD quality audio up to 8 channels
Library function for JPEG, MP3, and WMV9 files; files stored on a DATA-DVD or DATA-CD can be organized in a list browser on the player for easy sorting, searching, and playback
because you've got a good position doesn't mean you're at the top. And
even when you are, it doesn't mean you'll keep it forever. A big shot
in the waters of Florida won't mean a thing in the thunderstorms of
Texas, and just because you get all the way up to Mt. Olympus doesn't
mean you can get away with acting like a shower of gold with some
The gods are most interesting when they fall. That's
why we keep telling the stories. In a few thousand years, futurenerds
will be dressing as George and Karl to live action roleplay their fall
from grace. Who ever talks about Eisenhower and Truman, the two men who
were in charge during the "Golden Age" of our nation? Politics is like
the Internet: it's all about drama and porn. And doesn't that sum up
almost every major pantheon pretty nicely?
This shirt was designed by: Zenne. First there is a credit, then there is no credit, then there is. Now go wax my car.
Wear this shirt: when you've had just about enough crap from your stupid older brother, thanks very much.
Don't wear this shirt:
if you're the quiet brother that everyone forgets about, even though
you've got connections with everyone that's ever lived. Literally,
everyone that's ever lived. You could introduce Hitler to Gandhi but
would that get you some goth chick? No, these days they're off reading
Neil Gaiman and wearing ankhs. Rhea was right, you should have been an
This shirt tells the world: something about Ovaltine and goats, unless they've changed the filter again.
We call this color: Welcome Black To The Fold, Little Forgotten Shirt
Design Placement: Centered
M - 3X: 13.5" x 9.27"
S - K4: 9" x 6.18"
Step right up, step right up, ladies and gentlemen, and feast your
tongues on a viticultural spectacle the like of which has never before
been tasted! First, the management requests that all children, pregnant
women, and the infirm be removed from the premises! Today's startling
presentation is not for the young or weak!
Now, from the
wilds of the Willamette Valley in far-off, exotic Oregon, presenting a
palate-pleasing panoply of Pinot pulchritude, the celebrated Willamette
Valley Vineyards Pinot Noir Triplets!
This titanic triad of
towering taste teases and titillates with the pure Pinot personality of
soft, juicy mouthfeel and sweet, ripe tannins! But don't get them mixed
up: each triplet is wholly its own wine, playing its own vibrant
variation on a classic Pinot theme!
There's the elegant
2007 Pinot Noir Willamette Valley, turning a bewitching dance of tart
red fruit, earth, and spice flavors with a soft, silky finish! Wait'll
you tell the folks back home about this one!
the wine that was fermented in whole clusters - and lived to tell the
tale! The daring 2007 Pinot Noir Whole Cluster Fermented performs
astonishing feats of flavor! You'll "ooh" at the explosive rose,
cherry, and wild strawberry aromas! You'll "aah" at the soft, round,
juicy mouthfeel! You'll "mmm" as you pour another glass!
ladies and gentlemen, allow me to direct your attention to the 2006
Pinot Noir Estate Vineyard, rising from the red, volcanic earth like an
avenging, drinkable phoenix! Aromas of sweet wild rose, red and black
fruits, clove and earth herald the arrival of flavors of black cherry,
cassis, cocoa, vanilla and cinnamon! It's medium-full bodied! It's
cripsly acidic! It lingers and lingers! Drink it now or anytime until
2012 - if you dare!
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen! If
anyone feels prone to fainting after this overwhelming spectacle,
please don't fall on the bottles! And let's hear it one more time for
the Willamette Valley Vineyards Pinot Noir Triplets!