Sales Associate: Welcome to Buy Barn, can I help you find anything?
Customer: Hi, I'm looking for the (PLAY-ner) PD 7130
720p Home Theater Projector. That's the compact HD projector with the
native 720p resolution, 4500:1 contrast ratio, and 900 lumens of
Sales Associate: I'm sorry, I don't think we carry that brand.
Customer: Really? Because they're pretty well-known. The PD 7130
has that Texas Instruments DarkChip technology. I'm trying to find it
so I can use the S-video and composite connections to hook up my old
Super Nintendo to it. (PLAY-ner)? Not ringing any bells?
Sales Associate: No, I can tell you categorically that we do not carry any projector by any company called (PLAY-ner).
Customer: Hmm. Yeah. Listen, I don't want to make a big thing out of this, but a friend of mine just bought the (PLAY-ner) PD 7130 here, so if you could just check again for (PLAY-ner), I'd appreciate -
Sales Associate: Sir, I'm sorry, but I have other customers that need help, so unless there's anything else...?
Customer: I just want you to check again. That's all.
Sales Associate: OK, sure. (looks hastily around the store) Uh, nope, no (PLAY-ner).
Customer: Yeah, thanks. Can I speak to a manager?
Sales Associate: Fine. Steve! Steve! Got a minute to speak to this customer?
Manager: Sure, how can I help?
Customer: I was looking for a projector, the (PLAY-ner) PD 7130 -
Manager: We don't carry it.
Customer: OK, if you say so - hey, wait a minute! There it is right there! The Planar PD 7130 Home Theater Projector!
What's the difference between a map of a place and the place itself?
The map is a lot easier to fit into your glove compartment. Does
mapping a purely notional place make that place, in some sense, "real"?
Yes, if you ask a D&D player. What aspects of an actual experience
of a city are obscured when the city is abstracted into a map? Dog
poop, mostly. Is it easier to think up wise-ass throwaway gags than to
seriously grapple with the ideas behind a t-shirt design? Always.
This shirt design was by: <a href="http://lucasmonaco.com/">Lucas Monaco</a>,
who tells us that his "recent work intertwines ideas of mapping and
visualizing a place", citing the map as "an example of an abstracted,
utilitarian tool meant to be read that easily translated into a picture
- something to be viewed." Sounds interesting, but with a name like
that, he's missing his true calling as an international secret agent.
Wear this shirt:
because it's only our second side-seam print, and you want to be as
unique as the thousand or more other people who will buy it.
Don't wear this shirt: as a substitute for an actual map of wherever you are. It's probably not that accurate.
This shirt tells the world: "I don't wear anything unless it's GPS-enabled."
We call this color: Heather Gray = 1000 ft.
Design Placement: Left Side Seam
M - 3X: 15.75" x 15"
S - WS: 11.81" x 11.25"
LOS ALAMOS, CA - Long-held assumptions
about American history were rocked today with the announcement of a
discovery that may prove that Vikings visited California as long ago as
Digging in the soil of Los Alamos Vineyard, a team of
archaeologists and enologists unearthed a cache of what appear to be
bottles of Central Coast Sangiovese. The red wine bears a portrait of
T��thstejnn the Red, a previously unknown Norse warrior, along with a
poem fragment paying tribute to T��thstejnn's prowess. The year 2005 is
also inscribed on the bottles. The meaning of another inscription -
"Woot Cellars" - remains obscure, experts say.
never expected to discover evidence of a Viking presence in
California," said lead archaeologist Stud "Dirt" Davis. "And we had no
idea they were into Super Tuscan-style blends. But the more of this
Sangiovese we drank, the more the whole thing made sense, somehow."
the artifacts are museum-quality, Davis said they were also suited for
immediate drinking now. "Sure, we'll put some of these bottles up on
the shelf," he said. "But they're not just collector's items. Wine is
made to be enjoyed."
Davis says the
Sangiovese-Merlot-Cabernet blend's deep red, gemlike quality was
reminiscent of the jewels sometimes used to embellish Viking armor. But
its complexly layered, spicy flavors of cedar, black pepper, vanilla,
cherry, and cocoa - while <a href="http://tv.winelibrary.com/2008/07/15/woot-wine-on-the-thunder-show-episode-501/">familiar</a> to some modern wine drinkers - are unlike anything previously encountered in Norse cuisine.
is kind of brooding and hearty, so there's that," Davis said. "But
otherwise, it's not very, I don't know, Viking-y. It doesn't taste
anything like salted cod, that's for sure."
expressed skepticism about the ability of Norse vessels to reach the
western coast of North America. "Yes, it's true, even the best Viking
ships would have been hard-pressed to reach California," Davis points
out. "But by 2005, they easily could have flown."
Controversy aside, Davis claims that the discovery will change the way we think about Vikings from now on.
they were rapacious pagan plunderers, who left a scorched trail of
misery in their wake. Yeah, they'd just as soon impale you as look at
"But now we know: for all their faults, they had great taste in wine."