Over the last two days, reports surfaced that a hacker had
gained access to the personal email account of John McCain's running
mate, Republican vice-presidental candidate Sarah Palin, and posted
excerpts on the Internet. Turns out it was actually the email account
of Sandra Phalen, vice-principal at McCone High School in Republic
City, Iowa. But the resulting dirt is every bit as juicy. With that
nauseating mixed metaphor, let's take a look...
From: Sandra Phalen, Vice-Principal To: Athetic Department Date: Wednesday, Sept. 3, 2008, 9:17 AM Re: Wardrobe malfunction!!
parental complaints following last night's girls' basketball game (go,
Lady Minutemen!), I'd like to remind all of our coaches that per school
board policy, undergarments are required at all MHS athletic events. This rule is NOT optional. Let's leave the anatomy lessons to the science department, OK guys?
From: Sandra Phalen, Vice-Principal To: All Teachers & Staff Date: Tuesday, Sept. 9, 2008, 1:39 PM Re: "Big" Gus's retirement
Hey all, as you may know our longtime custodian "Big" Gus will be retiring at the end of the month. After <a href="http://sellout.woot.com/">researching various options</a>, we've decided to salute his 38 years of service with a special gift from all of us: a Soyo HS11 Freestyler
Bluetooth Stereo Headset. The A/V Club kids tell me you plug the
transmitter into any 3.5mm mini-jack and it transmits the audio to the
headset. It's got a built-in microphone and everything. It's real "Star
Trek" - may the force be with you!!
With "Big" Gus getting
on in years, the Bluetooth sound quality will really help. And since
"Big" Gus was never what you might call "wired out", we'll have to
remember to tell him that to sync the headset up, you have to hold down
the power buttons until it blinks red and blue. This manual is no help
at all - it reads like something one of our remedial students would
write. Well, maybe not that bad, hehe!!
To contribute to the
gift fund, come by my office. As always, all contributions are
voluntary and confidential, so don't worry, Mrs. Olafborg. You'll get
away with not paying. Again.
From: Herman Ramsey, Principal To: Sandra Phalen, Vice-Principal Date: Wednesday, Sept. 10, 2008, 10:02 AM Re: Seminar???
Hello, Ms. Phalen. Just
wondering if you need a ride to the Sexual Harrassment seminar this
weekend. It'd be no problem - especially if you promise to wear those
tight brown pants that show off those tasty buns of yours. Hit me back,
From: Sandra Phalen, Vice-Principal To: Gloria Wiltz, Cafeteria Manager Date: Friday, Sept. 12, 2008, 12:42 PM Re: Lost and Found
If anyone on the
cafeteria staff lost a "Kung-Fu-Pandas" band-aid today, you may pick it
up at my office. I just found it in my macaroni and cheese.
good news and bad news about the gift for "Big" Gus. The good news is,
we've purchased the headset and it seems, if not spectacular, perfectly
adequate - just like "Big" Gus himself.
The bad news is, "Big" Gus passed away quietly in his home last night. In lieu of flowers, we will present the Soyo HS11 Freestyler
Bluetooth Stereo Headset to his widow as a token of our esteem. We hope
its convenient Bluetooth wireless communication will be a comfort to
her through this difficult time.
If anyone would still like to contribute, I am still accepting donations, Mrs. Olafborg.
Warranty: 1 Year Soyo
Wireless stereo headphones for your TV, iPod, Sansa, Computer, or anything else that uses a 3.5mm mini jack
Built-in microphone to use with bluetooth enabled cell phones
Gives you 5 to 6 hours of stereo music play time after 1.5 or 2 hours of charge time
Bluetooth V1.2 compliant with 10 meter range and operates on 2.4GHz frequency
Works with iPhone 3G
HS11 Headphone Specifications:
Bluetooth Specification: 1.2 compliant
Support Profile: A2DP - AVRCP - Headset - Hands free
1st place in Derby #60: Autumn, with A TRIJILLOPLEX votes!
is the 21st Century, right? You type "autumn" into any search engine
and you'll get hundreds of thousands of bare trees. It's just who we
are. Acorns and saplings don't care at all, so why should it be any
different for a grown up redwood or even a petrified oak? We're so hung
up on this concept of the "ideal forest" that's sold to us by the
lumber yards and home and garden centers. It's crazy. Why can't we just
be happy the way we've grown?
Sure, there are gonna be some
evergreens who can't handle it, but who care what they think? They're
gonna be all gone before Christmas anyway. And then who's gonna care?
The birds? The squirrels? The former World War One
soldier-turned-poets? Stop hiding from everyone. Be proud it's worse
than your bite!
This shirt was designed by:
blammoed! We think this is a sound effect and not just short for
"Blammoedwina" but you never know with modern parenting. This is all
your fault, Leonard Nimoy.
Wear this shirt: to remind everyone that the word "Deciduous" means "falling off at maturity". So basically autumn is like Beach Week.
Don't wear this shirt: and then act like you have no idea why people are smiling at you.
This shirt tells the world: "Maybe after these photos leak I can start getting more serious acting roles."
We call this color: Olive knew she shouldn't stare, but...
Design Placement: Centered
M - 3X: 13" x 9.5"
S - WS: 9.75" x 7.12"
I'm having a great time out here in
Sonoma Valley. I just want to say, thanks again for sending me on this
trip for graduation. Not only am I having a blast, but I'm finally
getting to use everything I learned in college about drinking!
Everything I learned after I turned 21, I mean.
I went to this little vineyard the other day. I forget the name, but
I'll never forget this amazing estate-grown 2004 Cabernet Sauvignon. It
was deep ruby red, like the color of the tile in Gramma Lois's kitchen.
The flavor reminded me of Gramma Lois's boysenberry cobbler, and the
mouthfeel was as smooth as Gramma Lois's velvet curtains. I'm serious -
after I had a few glasses too many, I actually barged into the back
looking for Gramma Lois.
Of course, she wasn't there. But I
did wind up talking to the owners about how the their little vineyard
was cooled in the mornings and evenings by the fog from San Francisco
bay, and warmed in the daytime by the sun and the underground hot
springs. They told me all about how they used small open-top fermenters
and 100% French oak barrels. Rich and Joan, their names were. Not sure
I caught their last name.
I wish I could remember what that
little vineyard was called. I'm going to try to go back today, but I
hope the cab driver will know what I mean. I can hardly just say "take
me to that little vineyard", can I?
everything's OK with Aunt Minnie and the parrakeets. I know those kinds
of wounds can leave scars if you're not careful. Love you guys! See you