At long last: there's a widescreen LCD
monitor that delivers all of the color and contrast you need - without
the excess fat you don't. With no meat, dairy, or other animal
byproducts, the all-natural Soyo 22" monitor substitute will keep your
figure as svelte as its TFT display. Whether you're vegetarian or just watching your weight, it tastes just like the real thing -
The Soyo monitor isn't something you eat, I don't think.
it's not something you eat. Me either. But the vegetarians, with the
beads and the hair all tangled up in those deadlocks, they love this
Soyo stuff. And they spend money, too. Now, if I may have your
permission, I'd like to finish this voiceover so I can make my tee time.
Soon as we get the right copy. We're working on it.
don't bother! I've got the right copy right here! Now can I ask you
something? Did we hire you to work the mixing board or to be Dictator
of the BLEEP World? Because I'll tell you, I've been a BLEEP professional for over thirty BLEEP years, and I BLEEP expect professional treatment -
We're all professionals here, Ted. If we can just hold our horses a minute, we'll get the right copy -
Hold our horses? Hold our horses? How about you BLEEP hold my BLEEPBLEEP in your BLEEPBLEEP? You BLEEP think you know so BLEEP much, you oughtta be BLEEP able to BLEEPBLEEP with a BLEEP cherry on top!
You know what, Ted, we need to change the tape. Let's take five.
Sure, great! And while you're at it, take my five BLEEP fingers and BLEEPBLEEP your BLEEP, OK?
Yeah, we know. You think it just looks cool. But one day you're
gonna be there at the bus station and forget you have it on and
there'll be a tap on your left shoulder. And standing behind you will
be a guy dressed like Iron Fist, only he'll be holding three sheets of
paper and a mechanical pencil. And when that happens, you'll either
have to design a circuit... or die.
A shirt like this isn't
about fashion. It's a sign. It's a message to the world that you've
seen some things, you've done some other things, and you've lived
through a third kind of thing that would make most people wet their
pants and run shrieking back to their mother after a brief stop at a
Crate And Barrel to buy a heavy comforter under which, after a few
brief hellos with the family, they plan to hide.
So don't just
buy this shirt because you think it looks great. Buy it because you
know you deserve it. And never dishonor it with mustard or cranberry
juice. That would shame us all.
This shirt was designed by: <a href="http://toeillustration.blogspot.com/">toe2254</a>.
He's actually William Densmore from Milton, Florida, which is exactly
the sort of place where you'd expect the people to have 2,254 toes. He
also became an artist after working as a cook at Pizza Inn, which is
sort of like how World War One shaped Picasso except no one at a Pizza
Inn ever spoke French. Well done, William!
Wear this shirt: if you work anywhere in the multi-billion dollar tech industry. That's probably a big enough market, right?
Don't wear this shirt:
if you work in Fort Knox. There are like five different reasons you
should notice right away. And if you don't, you probably don't work for
This shirt tells the world: "Trolling is really a type of martial art if you think about it."
We call this color: My American Cousin, The Chocodile, Is Full Of Creme
Design Placement: Centered
M - 3X: 15.36" x 18.89"
S - WS: 11.52" x 14.16"
(1) 2005 Cabernet Sauvignon Stone Farm Vineyard Sonoma Valley
(1) 2004 Winemaker's Claret Sonoma
Description: (click show to see it)
Hey, how does our hair look? Need a little more hairspray, maybe? Is
our breath OK? Anything stuck between our teeth? Should we go with the
green knee-high boots or the gold flip-flops? And what do you think of
this mesh muscle shirt with this headband - too desperate?
sorry. We're just so nervous about our big date with the Benziger
Family Winery. Yeah, we've partnered with some pretty awesome wineries
before. We've been around. We never thought we'd feel all, like,
jittery and tongue-tried - we mean, tongue-tied about a winery ever
But this is Benziger we're talking about. One of
the most respected outfits in the industry. And they're so, like, cool
and environmental and stuff - just look at <a href="http://www.benziger.com/pdf/JuneWineSpec_BZGreen.pdf">Mike Benziger on the cover of Wine Spectator talking about their cutting-edge sustainable practices</a>. And <a href="http://www.benziger.com/">they've been on the Sundance Channel, too</a>. Oooh, we wish we'd had time to get our nails done.
just don't taste wines like these single-vineyard reds very often. Both
the Benziger 2005 Merlot Feingold Vineyard and the Benziger 2005
Cabernet Sauvignon Stone Vineyard came out of the tough but exceptional
2005 growing season. The medium-bodied Merlot offers layered blueberry
and currant flavors with soft, well-integrated tannins for an excellent
mouthfeel. The Cab is a supple, complex, firm red with spicy, toasted
oak and pepper flavors balanced against dark fruit. They're both, like,
Both varietals unite in the Benziger 2004
Winemaker's Claret. It's as round and smooth as a Merlot marble, but
has the backbone and weight of a Cabernet stegosaurus. Is that a hint
of toasty oak we sense somewhere in all those rich plum, blackberry,
and coffee flavors? We really want to drink some - but would that stain
our lips and make Benziger think we're gross or something?
sorry. Maybe we're being silly. After all, Benziger seems perfectly
nice. They're just wine folks like us, right? We should just relax and
be ourselves and everything will go just fine, right? Right?
Excuse us. We just noticed an eyebrow hair that needs to be plucked.
2005 Merlot Feingold Vineyard Sonoma Mountain
Harvest Date: Oct 19, 2005
Bottling Date: March 7, 2007
Release Date: July 1, 2008
Total acid: 60
Time in Oak: 14 months
Type of Oak: French oak
Production: 16 barrels
2005 Cabernet Sauvignon Stone Farm Vineyard Sonoma Valley