The mission's been compromised. The rest of the team has been
lost. It's up to me, operative Devilwolf-11, to neutralize the target
and destroy the enemy munitions store. I commando-crawl through the
brush. I initiate the N-Vision Optics NVC3 Night Vision Monocular. Perimeter scan reveals no presence of enemy guards. I remain under cover of shadow and advance toward -
"Josh? Josh! Is that you crawling around in the bushes? What are you doing out there in the dark?"
"Mom, I'm busy! I'm - I'm doing something! What do you want?"
"Are you gonna drive me to the Walgreen? I need to get my blood-pressure socks."
"Yeah, yeah! I'll be in in a minute."
"Josh, they close at ten, Josh."
"It's only eight-thirty, Mom! Gimme a minute!"
indicates enemy ordnance is stored in the garage. Odor of cordite
corroborates intelligence. Small window offers view into garage.
N-Vision Optics NVC3 unit engaged. Despite
slight blur around edges, Generation 1 light-intensifier tube reveals
presence of what appears to be a concealed intercontinental ballistic
missile, disguised as a lawnmower. I push on the window to gain access -
"Josh! Your father needs help putting on his ointment! Josh?"
"I'll be right in, Ma!"
"You know he can't reach -"
"I said I'll be right in!"
guard notices me, pursues. Enemy guard neutralized before alarm raised.
I return my titanium-fiber garrote to my utility compartment. The NVC3's high-pitched whine must have compromised my position. Perimeter scan indicates no further -
"Josh! Josh, where are you? Josh?"
"Jeez, Mom, shut off that floodlight! I'm right here! Bright light can break my N-Vision Optics NVC3 Night Vision Monocular!"
"Your what? What are you doing? When are you going to come in? Your father's itchy real bad. And I need my socks."
"Right now, Mom." (sigh) "Right now."
N-Vision Optics NVC3 Night Vision Monocular destroyed. Munitions dump intact. Mission failed. Entire Free World in peril.
Warranty: 1 Year N-Vision
Night vision monocular with first generation intensifier tube allows you to up to 650 feet in the dark
Built in infrared illuminator allows you to see in total darkness
2x magnification with 22� field of view
Operates on 1 CR123 battery (battery not included)
Dimensions: 7.2" x 2.3" x 3.2" inches
In the box:
N-Vision Optics NVC3 Night Vision Monocular
Got some updated prices? Click here and update them!
We're celebrating Labor Day by not doing anything that resembles labor. Shirts ordered between 8/30 and 9/1 will ship on 9/2.
2nd place in Derby #57: Dessert, with 654 votes!
Let's talk about that orange wedge for a second. That orange wedge
started life on a tree in a very specific climate. Everything was fine.
Then, one day, a guy walked by and ripped it away from the only home it
ever knew. Then it got put in a bag, and then a truck, and then another
truck that was probably very very cold. A few days later it showed up
in some strange kitchen, where it was sliced away from all its brother
and sister wedges. And now, on a plate, it has a very limited time
before it is either eaten or goes dry and is thrown away.
is not the warm smile of contentment. That is the crazed smile of a
thing beyond pain. Like Bjork at the end of "Dancer In the Dark". They
can't hurt the orange wedge any more. No one can hurt the orange wedge
This shirt was designed by:
illuminator, who probably is curled in a little ball crying over what
we just wrote about his sweet little shirt. Sorry, lumy. That's the
risk you take when you don't remember to bribe the writing staff.
Wear this shirt:
because it's adorable. Look at that bear. Don't you just want to eat
that bear right up? He probably tastes like raspberries and honey. It
makes you just want to pop the whole thing in your mouth and OH GOD WASABI WASABI WASABI WASABI
Don't wear this shirt: to a wet t-shirt contest. It won't distribute the water properly and you won't win. And we want you to win. Really.
This shirt tells the world: "That pickled egg will be really upset when it finds out the cupcake is a crossdresser."
We call this color: It's Almost Lunchtime Now, Baby Blue
Design Placement: Centered
M - 3X: 14" x 4.58"
S - WS: 10.5" x 3.43"
Pantone Color(s): Black - 032 C - 116 C - 382 C - 361 C - White
After running out, we dipped into our strategic oil reserves and came up with a few drops more. Take note, vinegar fans: Ginger Key Lime Vinegar has replaced the Raspberry Vinegar.
Eureka! We've struck oil! No, not the black sticky crude that
bubbles up out of the ground - that stuff tastes terrible. We're
talking cooking oil. Infused oil, that is. Greasy gold! Tuscany tea!
Next thing you know, old Woot's a culinarian. And our kinfolk say,
"Hey, can you get me a discount on that stuff?" (Note to kinfolk: no.)
Gourmet Kitchen line of oils was created by food anthropologist and
author Chef Clyde Serda. He's not one of those evil oil barons you hear
about - he's a California Culinary Academy graduate and the 1996 CAPC Chef
of the Year. These five flavors of Gourmet Kitchen chow-gloop are all
but certain to bring a little class to your kitchen and a lot of
pleasure to your palate. But heed this warning: unlike most Wine.Woot
offerings, these are not recommended for drinking straight.
start with the three varieties of grapeseed oil. Because it's neutral
in taste and has a high smoke point, grapeseed oil provides a quiet,
unobtrusive platform for the other ingredients to shine. What, you
don't know what a grapeseed tastes like? That's exactly our point.
smoky, and spicy your thing? Use the Sweet Smoked Chili Oil for
saut�eing, drizzle it over pizza, or brush it on bread. Don't be
frightened by the Blood Orange Oil's scary name. It's a light,
flavorful oil with a sweet, tart citrus thing going on, great for
steaks, fish, poultry, and veggies. And the Sweet Roasted Garlic Oil
displays the rich, intense flavors of - you guessed it - sweet roasted
garlic. It's divine with everything except durian, ostrich jerky, and
But chefs cannot live by grapeseed alone.
Perfectly ripe, gently pressed olives give the Gourmet Kitchen
California Extra Virgin Olive Oil the smooth, buttery flavor you crave,
you dog you. Try it on leafy greens with the complex flavor of
the Ginger Key Lime Vinegar. One bite it tastes Asian, the next it's all citrusy, the one after that, it's somehow both. Never a dull palate with this stuff. (Don't embarrass yourself asking why it's not green - Key Limes are actually yellow.)
Fellow citizens, the time has
come to end your dependence on cheap vegetable oil. You deserve better.
You deserve the security of knowing that your next meal won't taste
like it was scraped off the bottom of the popcorn bin at the movies.
With these Gourmet Kitchen infused oils, you'll build a bridge to the
future. And then you'll eat it.