Air. A requirement for life or a terrifying lung parasite with a
colossal PR campaign? Science has not yet determined which of these two
so-called "theories" is correct. Of course, in the realm of academia,
there is plenty of time to debate and consider. But at home, when your
children's futures are on the line, do you really want to think it over?
3M Filtrete Air Purifier is your first line of defense against the
oxo-facist hegemony. More effective than those controversial HEPA units (did you know that HEPA
stands for Hell Eggs Produce Air?) the 3M Filtrete Air Purifier
captures 99.9% of particle pollutants. Things like mold spores, pollen,
dander, bacteria and smoke, odor and virus carrying particles.
no ozone generation here, friends. The 3M Filtrete Air Purifier is
sleek and contemporary, designed to look nice in your home. There's a
Filter Change Indicator Light that lets you know when you've caught too
much air, and changing it is easy. So easy that your kids could do it <a href="http://sellout.woot.com/">without even setting down their MP3 player</a>! But don't let them near it. Air can be deadly when it's cornered.
to thirteen times more effective than the leading brand, the 3M
Filtrete Air Purifier cleans away the things you don't want in your
house. Maybe one day someone will figure out how to plug it into
Hollywood as well. Until then, just keep in mind that no one has yet
proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that Air doesn't cause herpes. And
the 3M Filtrete Air Purifier might just save your life.
Warranty: 1 Year 3M
For rooms up to 160 sq. ft.
AHAM-rated up to 128 for dust and 103 for smoke
Filtrete filter captures 99.99% of particles, including household dust, pet dander and bacteria
99.9% effective at capturing particles as small as 0.1 microns in size, such as: Pollen, Mold Spores, Dust mite debris
Captures particles that cause odor and carry viruses, as well as smoke and smog
3-speed fan settings allow you to adjust air circulation
Filter change indicator senses the particle accumulation on the filter and lets you know when you should change it
Steamlined and stylish with quiet operation
Sleek, contemporary design blends in with any decor
No Ozone Generation
30% More Air Circulation
41% Higher Pollen Capture Rate
In the box:
3M FAP02-RS Filtrete Air Purifier
Got some updated prices? Click here and update them!
sure, nature's real pretty. So was Mata Hari. But believe me, all that
green isn't there to make us humans feel good. It's nature's insidious
way of concealing some of her most lethal creatures: venomous frogs,
murderous lizards, the elusive green rhino. Of course you've never seen
a green rhino - that's exactly the point. But they're there, waiting
with the rest of their green assassins, just waiting...but for what?
Until evolution gives them wings, opposable thumbs, and laser vision?
Or until all the preservatives in human food make us color-blind? It
hasn't been easy being green. Sometime soon, they're going to take
their frustration out on the rest of us. And we won't even see it
This shirt was designed by: Woot member thedansterwashere. We think we saw him making copies.
Wear this shirt: if you're one of those superheroes or supervillains who can control plant life or talk to lizards. Casual is the new costume.
Don't wear this shirt: hunting, unless you're suicidal.
This shirt tells the world: "I never stop to smell the flowers. You never know what might be hiding in there."
We call this color: Splendor in the Grass. And Also, Lizards And Frogs.
3X - M: 13" x 17.85"
S - WS: 9.75" x 13.38"
Here's that second Saxon Brown deal. This is becoming a habit.
(the offices of La Bella Generica Winery & Amusement Park, today)
Larry Schlockenschmaltz, Owner: No, you listen - you give our wines another bad review and your children are no longer welcome at our petting zoo! (slams phone down) These uppity wine snobs, think they're so smart just because they've been to Europe...
Stump Dixon, Winemaker & Security Guard: Run! Hide! Run and hide! They're coming!
Larry: What? Who?
Stump: The Saxons!
Larry: What? The Saxons? Have you been playing that Dragons & Dragons game again?
No! Saxon Brown! Their carefully crafted, lovingly made wines pose a
threat to everything we've built here! I tried this Saxon Brown 2007
Semillon - Cricket Creek and it's...it's...I've never tasted anything like
it. It's got these peachy, citrusy flavors, and it's real creamy on my
tongue. It makes our whites taste like off-brand instant lemonade.
Larry: You mean you actually drink our wine? Wow. Well, I guess it's part of your job.
But that's not all. This 2006 Syrah Ros� (Dry), Flora Ranch Vineyard.
The sugars, flavors, and acids are so balanced, I could hardly believe
it's grown in the Chalk Hill region. Larry, may He strike me down if it
wasn't just like biting into a fresh strawberry off the vine! I bet
they make this from Syrah grapes grown specifically for Ros�, instead
of the way we make ours.
Larry: Hey, what else are we supposed to do with the spilled wine we vacuum off of the warehouse floor?
The Saxon Brown thing off the Internet said the grapes were
"dry-farmed" and "low-yield." I looked those words up in my pocket wine
dictionary, and it said that means the wine's probably real good! And
get this: they don't even have robots to pick their grapes!
Larry: Jeez, people, crawl out of your cellar and join the 21st century. They probably still use glass bottles, too.
Stump: I'm scared. These Saxon Brown wines, they're - they're as exciting as Wrestlemania VI - maybe even Wrestlemania III! What are we going to do?
What are we going to do? What are we going to do? The same thing we
always do. Grow the grapes, fleece the rubes, and count the profits.
Saxon Brown? They only make a few hundred cases of some of those
vintages! How can they compete with a billion-barrel operation like us?
Does Saxon Brown sponsor their own stage on the Skewed Tour? Does Saxon
Brown have a brand-new, $31 million waterslide on their premises? Now
quit wasting my time. We're supposed to be sending a shipment out over
on Dock Q, but they can't get the hose attached to the tanker truck.
OK? Are we done here?
Stump: Yeah, I guess you're
right. We're awesome! Not even Jeff Gaffner can hurt us. Hey, you hear
about that monkey that got arrested for drunk driving in Colorado? They
said he could only say the alphabet up to W.
Larry: What? What did you say?
Stump: The cops thought this chimp was drunk because he didn't know all of the alphabet.
Larry: No, no, before that. Did you - did you say - Jeff Gaffner?
Stump: Yeah, he's the winemaker at Saxon Brown. But we're not afraid of him, right, La-
Larry:The Jeff Gaffner? Why didn't you say so? This is serious! We're going to have to make some big changes around here!
Stump: You mean growing our grapes carefully in small plantings, and painstakingly crafting our wines by hand?
Larry: Don't be ridiculous. I was thinking more along the lines of an IMAX projector.