There is a shave so close, so smooth, that no ordinary razor can
ever aspire to it. For decades, men have searched for this elusive
shave. Now, the search is over. With its patented eight-blade
triple-flex technology and innovative new WhiskerLift system, only the -
Wrong copy, Ted.
You're reading the copy for the wrong product.
are you talking about? We're selling the Razer Diamondback 3G, right?
The one that uses extreme rotating action developed by NASA scientists to give you the closest, smoothest shave on this planet - or any planet, right?
No, that's not the right product. We're selling the Razer Diamondback 3G, but-
That's what I said. The Razer Diamondback 3G.
But what I'm saying is, it's not really a razor. It's a mouse.
A mouse. A computer mouse. For playing computer games.
look at the thing. It's all lit up on the sides, and it fits right into
your hand. It looks just like an electric shaver. And it has Razer in
I know. But it's a mouse. It's the successor
to the original Razer Diamondback, with movement speeds 2.25 times
faster than a standard 800dpi optical sensor, and On-The-Fly
Sensitivity™ adjustment. And it's available in red or green.
I've been in this business quite a while, and I think I know the
difference between a shaver and a mouse. So if it's OK with you I'm
going to stick with copy that I've been given and stop taking advice
from some clown who happens to know how to work a tape recorder. Now
let's get back to work and I'd thank the control room to keep their
mouths shut while I'm trying to do what I do. I swear, of all the...
There's no need for that, Ted. Just read the other copy there, the one about the mouse.
I've got a better idea - how about you BLEEP your BLEEP and take this BLEEP copy and BLEEP it out your BLEEP hole? How does that sound, you BLEEP son of a BLEEPBLEEP?
Everyone has had that moment in a Red Lobster or a fancy motel. The
"I bet I could grab that thing off the wall and score a few touches
before the cops got here" moment. And, really, who could blame you? The
cops would do their job, but in their hearts they'd be on your side.
Swordfish are also the only member of family Xiphiidae.
Isn't that tragic and romantic? A lonely hero, an orphan, swimming in a
vain hope to be left alone, his destiny a constant weight between his
fins, forever challenged, proving himself again and again. No wonder so
many women sigh when they see it on the menu. What better symbol of the
sport of ne'er-do-wells and Olympic level royalty?
Here's that other Dry Creek deal we promised this week.
Now that you've seen what Dry Creek Vineyard can do with <a href="http://wine.woot.com/Blog/ViewEntry.aspx?Id=4919">their signature whites</a>,
it's time to turn to the dark side. If you think Dry Creek's expertise
is limited to Fum� Blanc, these two reds have a bone to pick with you.
And believe us, you do not want to make enemies out of them.
meet these red rebels, with chips on their shoulders and 100% Dry Creek
Valley pedigrees. As dark and brooding as its name suggests, the Dry
Creek Valley 2003 Mood Hill Cabernet Sauvignon is a wine with secrets.
It may take a while to get to know it. But if you can persuade it to
let its guard down, to lower its mask of sullen indifference, you'll
find a luscious, juicy heart of black cherry and plum.
a boy named Sue, being called "petite" has only made the Dry Creek
Valley 2003 Petite Sirah even tougher. There's nothing petite about its
rich, dense, muscular dark fruit flavors and rigidly structured
tannins. This is one two-fisted, bare-knuckled, rip-snorting roadhouse
brawler of a wine from the mean streets of the DCV9 Estate
Vineyard in the Dry Creek Valley. It's crying out for red meat. Let its
black cherry and pepper flavors linger on the finish just as long it
pleases...we sure wouldn't tell it to leave.
And if you're one of those Zinfandel fans wondering where this AVA's
flagship red is, well, Dry Creek Vineyard often uses this selfsame
Petite Sirah as a blending ingredient in Zinfandel. It isn't every
vintage that's good enough to warrant bottling on its own. This one was.
you intrigued by this glimpse of Dry Creek's dark side? Excited? Even a
little scared? Of course you are. But if you can handle it, the
forbidden thrills and esoteric pleasures of the dark side will take you
to new heights of wine ecstasy. So take that nice Fum� Blanc home to
meet mom - but have a little fun with these wild, untamed reds first.
We won't tell if you don't.
2003 Mood Hill Cabernet Sauvignon
Grapes: 100% Cabernet Sauvignon
Appellation: 100% Dry Creek Valley
Production: 426 cases
Harvest: September 23 - October 9, 2003
Fermentation: Fermented 21 days at 85º F
Barrel Aging: 20 months in French and American oak
Total Acidity: 0.64
Residual Sugar: Dry
2003 Petite Sirah
Grapes: 100% Petite Sirah
Appellation: Dry Creek Valley
Production: 429 cases
Harvest: October 2, 2003
Fermentation:Fermented 18 days at 85º F
Barrel Aging: 30 months in American oak, 45% new oak
Alcohol: 13.3% Total Acidity: 0.46
pH 3.70 Residual Sugar: Dry