Well, now you've gone and done it. You thought you were really clever making that bargain with your kid. "Sure, you can have an MP3
player...when you start bringing home straight A's," you taunted, certain
in the knowledge that there was no way that D-plus in Pre-Algebra would
come up to an A. Then, bam, the five-week progress reports came home,
and the math grade was a B-minus and rising. Looks like you're about to
get some schooling in humility.
It doesn't have to be a costly lesson, though. While the DesignerVision 1GB MP3 Player
lacks many of the features that fancier players offer (like video
playback, an FM tuner, a big hard drive, and a popular brand name), it
does meet the minimum standards that define an MP3
player. In other words, it plays MP3s. And it's actually a blessing
that it doesn't require bloated software like iTunes or Zune - you can
just drag and drop files without any of that mess. Craftsmen in the
finest forced-labor camps in China literally slaved over its backlit LCD
display, built-in microphone, and voice recorder functions. But don't
worry, you won't really be paying any extra for any of that.
It may not be what the kid had in mind. But it is an MP3
player, so you've got him or her on a technicality. And it'll teach
your child a valuable lesson: everybody is out to screw you in this
life, even your own parents. The DesignerVision 1GB MP3 Player...when you care enough to buy the very least.
Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty
It's pink (or blue)
1 GB capacity
USB 2.0 interface
Easy drag and drop file transfers
MP3 and WMA format compatible
Backlit color LCD display
Easy click navigation
Plug and Play (Windows 2000/Me/XP and Mac)
Requires one (1) "AAA" battery
EQ Modes: Normal, Rock, Jazz, Full Bass, Pop, Classical
Play Modes: Normal, Repeat one, Repeat all, Random, Intro
In the box:
Designer Vision USB 2.0 1GB MP3/WMA/Voice Recorder
Software disc on 3-inch CD
One (1) "AAA" battery
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Just like in the fashion industry, a House is defined by what it does. Maybe one day the CEO
of McDonalds will marry the largest stockholder in Sony, and their
child will be heir to an empire of poorly-fed easily excitable Internet
junkies. But the nice part is, when that happens, we'll already have
the heraldry a dynasty needs. How about we call it "House Sony D"? Or
does that sound too much like a drag queen?
Get a move on, wine fiend - this'll only be up until Wednesday night. Look for an all-new, all-awesome deal come Thursday morning.
Now wait just a consarned minute here. Something's gotta be afoot. Sure, Dusted Valley Winery's Boomtown lineup was recently named one of the "Value Brands of the Year" by Wine and Spirits, but this value seems a little too, uh, valuable. Three bottles of this high-quality
Washington stuff for this piddling pittance of a price? What's the
Litigation, that's what. It seems the sharp, snappy label on the 2004 Stomp Cabernet Sauvignon (Boomtown's predecessor) was just a little too similar to another, well-established, deep-pocketed winery's label.
We're talking about the kind of outfit that keeps a trademark attorney
on staff just waiting to pounce on the likes of Dusted Valley. They
made their displeasure known. But rather than get into a scuffle they
probably can't win, Dusted Valley decided that steep discounts were the
better part of valor. They turned to Wine.Woot to help them unload all
this Stomp Cab before it becomes a bigger issue.
So not only
will you receive a graceful, enticing Cab laden with bright fruit,
earth, and olive aromas; flavors of cherry, currant, and mineral; and a
lingering, toasty, sweet finish - you'll also get a bonafide contraband
collectible. Pair it with grilled dry-rubbed ribeye or a blue
cheeseburger for a barely-legal outlaw's repast. Intellectual property
disputes never tasted so good.
The other two bottles aren't
in legal trouble, except maybe as accessories. They're just along for
kicks. Bringing together some of the Evergreen State's top vineyards
for a wild co-ferment of Syrah and Viognier, the 2006 Dusted Valley
Stained Tooth Syrah fills the air and the glass with cherry,
blackberry, and currant flavors. Don't be surprised if you catch a hint
of herbs, smoke, or cracked black pepper, too. It'll be worth every
stain on your teeth.
They take their Merlot seriously up
Washington way, and they don't take kindly to watered-down weaklings.
Just set your tongue to the 2004 Boomtown Merlot Columbia Valley, a
dark, rich, downright burly Merlot that delivers dark berry fruit,
plum, earth, and creamy oak. If you've got any seared duck breast with
plum demiglaze laying around, you've just found the perfect companion
It's too bad Dusted Valley has to jettison the
Stomp! label over some legal shenanigans, but pardon us for not
shedding too many tears. A swell deal on three solid Washington wines
does wonders in the consolation department. Still, it's probably a good
thing Dusted Valley didn't go with their original concept for naming
that wine: Walt Disney's Mickey Mouse Cabernet.