Well, Officer, you gotta understand, it was a wild night. There was a lot going on, and honestly, I wasn't in the best condition to be a good witness, know what I'm saying? We'd just finished a tasting of our <a href="http://wine.woot.com/">Rock Hollow Sextet</a>. There were a lot of people there, and I'm sure they'd tell a lot of different stories.
But I do know a few things for sure. One, the guy who ran had on a really great <a href="http://shirt.woot.com/">shirt</a>. Two, I definitely heard the stolen files. Those mashups that guy was spinning, well, I'm pretty sure the RIAA never approved anything like that. And three, the <a href="http://sellout.woot.com/">crime</a> couldn't have happened without the Razer Barracuda AC-1.
I know, it's usually a gaming audio card. And a great one - I'm a fan myself. I mean, it supports DTS Neo:PC, DTS Interactive, Dolby Headphone, Dolby Digital Live, and Dolby Pro Logic IIx. That Razer Enhanced Sound Perception is pretty incredible at pinpointing kill zones, in awesome 7.1-channel, 24-bit sound. I don't know why it'd get mixed up in something like this.
But when I went up to it to get its autograph, it seemed different somehow. Wild. Out of control. Its passive EMI shield was drooping, and it had a crazy look on its HD-Dedicated Audio Interface. Maybe it had been drinking, I don't know. Maybe it had been taking something stronger. All I can say is, it was pumping out those illicit remixes and leaked advances like it had a death wish.
But, uh, hey, don't tell the Razer Barracuda AC-1 I told you this, OK? A card with that kind of power, those kinds of connections - I just wouldn't want to get on its bad side.
when it went all Cloverfield I just ran out the back. I didn't want to
talk to the cops. I was still flyin' high, if you follow me. I just ran
to the fire escape and climbed up to the roof. They kept yelling down
on the street about how there were <a href="http://www.woot.com">too many different stories</a> but I was
lookin' up, and there was this plane up in the sky, it looked just like
the one my grandfather flew. This real old, classy plane. I thought I
was dreamin' it. There were these these trails behind it, too. I threw
some Orbital on my Zune and just blissed out till morning. It was like
a four dimensional white picket fence. I was in the temporal suburbs,
man, I was free.
This shirt was designed by: <a href="http://www.makimaki.nl/">MAKI Design Studio</a>,
a small design and illustration studio based in The Netherlands run by
Kim and Matthijs. They describe themselves as "wacky, edgy, humorous,
urban and intelligent" So it's like an Ikea right on your chest!
Wear this shirt: if you work for Spaghetti Airlines. You know the one. "We're hungry to fly and it shows!"
Don't wear this shirt: to the International White Chocolate Covered Pretzel convention. They'll never understand the plane.
This shirt tells the world: "There's a reason we don't skywrite Feynman diagrams."
We call this color: Stop Picking Asphalt We're Running Out Of Jokes
3X - M: 13.69" x 19"
S-WS: 10.26" x 14.25"
(2) 2004 Rock Hollow Central Coast Cabernet Sauvignon
(2) 2005 Rock Hollow Central Coast Merlot
Description: (click show to see it)
I, Officer? Oh, no, I would never be involved with any <a href="http://www.woot.com/">"disk jockey"</a>. I prefer the soft sounds of Mozart, coaxing out the violins like the Rock Hollow winemakers coax first-rate fruit from the California Central Coast soil. They know how to use a combination of stainless steel and oak fermentation to produce a bright, rich Chardonnay. They're privy to the kind of oenic arcana that bestows the power to produce superlative reds like this Merlot and Cabernet Sauvignon.
The future? Well, officer, we all make mistakes.
You see, the Rock Hollow vinyards thought they had sure-fire hotcakes with these three varietals. One sip of each, and they were convinced. How could the public resist? How could they turn their palates away from such a ripe Cab, a smooth Merlot, a crisp Chardonnay? This would be the biggest sellout since Madame Butterfly at the Met. Did you attend, officer? A shame, it was beautiful.
Oh, the bottles? Well, officer, all those bottles stubbornly refused to find good homes. It happens more often than you might think in the world of wine. Just like in finance. Do you know about finance, officer? There's a lot of money for someone who knows about finance in a world like this. It's just a little dj set, after all. Why make trouble?
Would you care for a glass? Rock Hollow's miscalculation could be your good fortune. The surfeit of unmoved product lets us feature a solid six-pack of Rock Hollow wines for the scandalously low price of fifty bucks shipped, give or take a penny. Don't let the price tag trick you into thinking this is some cheap fortified Kool-Aid they siphoned out of the gutter at the Italian Festival. Hesitate, and some other guy'll swoop in and buy it out from under you, some guy who understands that wine from vineyards like Kingsley, Hammond, Camp-4, and Paso Robles would be a steal at twice the price.
From the shiny pear and apple bouquet to the refresing melon, guava, and citrus flavors to the lingering mineral notes in the finish, the Rock Hollow 2006 Chardonnay is a symphony in sunshine. The ripe cherry, cassis, plum, and spice character of the Rock Hollow 2004 Cabernet Sauvignon brings a plump, jolly mood to any special occasion, except maybe a funeral. Are you a fan of the silky tannins, officer? The Rock Hollow 2005 Merlot positively reeks of sugar and spice and everything nice.
We're very much alike, officer. We make our living on other people's miscalculations. The value-for-money equation of this Rock Hollow Sextet is so intense, you might think it was Stravinsky. That's just a joke, officer. But you will tell me if you need, shall we say, a little extra this month? If there's anything I could do to put this <a href="http://www.woot.com/">incident</a> to rest, just let me know. I want things between us to be as wonderful as a Rock Hollow wine.
2006 Chardonnay Central Coast
TA 8.3 gm/L
Vineyard sources: Firestone and Kingsley Vineyard
Stainless fermented with 20% having been oak aged with French Oak
1800 cases bottled in April 2007
The 2006 Chardonnay begins with a bright bouquet of pear and golden apple with accents of lemon zest and caramel. Crisp flavors of melon, guava, honey and citrus unfold across a rich, balanced texture. The finish is long and clean, with lingering mineral nuances.
2004 Cabernet Sauvignon Central Coast
TA 6.9 gm/L
Vineyard Sources: Paso Robles
21 months aging in barrel, combination of both French oak and American oak
1750 cases bottled in July of 2006
The 2004 Cabernet Sauvignon offers ripe aromas of cherry and cassis with accents of black licorice. The mouthfeel is round and seamless, with flavors of black cherry, plum, coffee and mocha. A long, even finish reveals fine tannins with a hint of spice.
2005 Merlot Central Coast
TA 7.4 gm/L
Vineyard Sources: Firestone, Camp 4, Kingsley and Hammond
19 months aging in barrel in a combination of French oak and American oak
2000 cases bottled in April of 2007
The aromas in the 2005 Merlot are those of sandalwood, a hint of tobacco and briary red fruits. There is also sweet vanilla spice that shows as the wine opens. The soft entry is followed by smooth silky tannins. The overall structure is one that will keep the flavors lingering and the mouthfeel bright.