This is the year! I'm finally going to do it! A new year, a new me!
And I ain't just talkin' about taking off a couple extra pounds. I'm
totally re-engineering my body, Jared style. In fact, not even. 'Cause
Jared isn't ripped. All Jared is is not fat. I'm gonna be pumped. That's right, I may look like Frederick Dukes now, but by December, I'll be Cain Marko.
I've already eaten like two cases of energy bars this month, so I'm off to a pretty great start.
I don't care how hard it is, I'm gonna do it! And my Reebok Precision Trainer XT Heart
Rate Monitor is gonna help. It's bike-mountable, so I can use it for
spinning sessions. Its user mode will automatically generate my fitness
index and calculate my calorie count and the fat I've burned. Ahmina
write all that stuff down, man, in my sweat-warped workout log. It's
gonna be like the training sequence from a Rocky movie. Running.
Lifting. Drinking raw eggs. Monitoring the data from my Reebok
Precision Trainer. Chopping wood.
Only problem: The
instructions on this thing stipulate that when I strap it on, I need to
"avoid areas with dense chest hair." That's going to be a problem for
me, since I'm hairy like Harry and the Hendersons, man. Ancient
transgressors of Mosaic Law who were put to death by stoning for giving
their children to Molech didn't get pelted like I am.
well. While I'm working on transforming my body from schlubby to
shapely, I guess a thorough body waxing couldn't hurt. I mean--it could really hurt, but--you know what I mean.
Warranty: 1 Year Reebok
Chest Belt included for continuous heart rate.
Time/Date (12 or 24hr)
% of Max HR
Water Resistant to 30mm
In the box:
Heart rate transmitter belt
2 x CR20232 lithium batteries - already installed, one in the watch and another in the heart rate transmitter belt
Got some updated prices? Click here and update them!
It's the great irony of the food chain. That guy in the wheelchair is
delicious, but high in saturated fats. Those fat kids who fall down a
lot have a few thousand calories EACH. If
you want to live to be six million, you have to start eating right. You
have to start making the effort. In the long run, you'll thank yourself.
This shirt was designed by: the loveable Tgentry, who knows that you can get alien ooze out of the carpet by using just a bit of club soda.
Wear this shirt: when you're serving lime Jell-o to your kids. Pretend those chocolate chips were joggers.
Don't wear this shirt: if you're a fresh baked loaf of bread. Instead, you'll find a breadbox will be more comfortable while also keeping you fresh.
This shirt tells the world: "When did Woot turn into Hints From Heloise?"
We call this color: Slime On The Asphalt
3X - M: 11" x 4.91"
S-WS: 8.25" x 3.68"
Color(s): - Pantone Black C - White - 3435 C - 3425 C - 3405 C - 348 C
(1) Lucas & Lewellen 2004 Petite Sirah Santa Barbara County
(1) Lucas & Lewellen 2003 Cabernet Sauvignon Santa Barbara County
(1) Lucas & Lewellen 2003 Cabernet Franc Santa Barbara County
Description: (click show to see it)
Now, we've got nothing against the established, respected wine
critics and magazines. They've earned their reputations with
insightful, knowledgeable wine criticism. (At least, that's what the
guy at the liquor store tells us.) But sometimes a perspective from
outside the wine establishment can really help us reach a deeper
understanding of what a wine is all about. Here's what three
nontraditional wine authorities have to say about the wines in this
Lucas & Lewellen Three-Pack.
Phelps County Truck & Boat Trader, Sept. 23, 2006:
"FOR SALE: 2004 Petite Sirah, low miles, good cond., runs good. Santa Barbara AVA. Big mouthfeel, berry & anise flavors, smooth tannins. Ask about hand-punching. $26 OBO."
GrapeAura: The Journal of New Age Wine Studies, Feb. 2007:
"A beacon of spirit energy radiating throughout the universe and the
innerverse, Lucas & Lewellen 2003 Cabernet Sauvignon embodies
mind/body harmony in its multicultural blend of red varieties.
Black-currant nymphs and spicy oak satyrs cavort in a deep violet
forest, twirling to the mad symphony of existence. More renewing than a
crystal yoga colonic."
Alcohol is Murder!: The Official Newsletter of the Ladies' Temperance Anti-Pleasure League, Spring 2006:
"Perhaps most insidious is the poison known as Lucas & Lewellen
2003 Cabernet Franc. Where common ordinary rotgut warns away the timid
with noxiously toxic odors and flavors, this liquid seductress hides
its peril behind the enticing flavor of blackberry jam. Stout indeed
must be the soul who hopes to resist its lush, ripe, rich, dark,
flavorful, aromatic charms, especially when served with grilled duck or
there you have it. If you've learned as much as we have from this
little exercise, you still have absolutely no clue what this Lucas
& Lewellen Three-Pack is like. Guess you'll just have to taste it
Lucas & Lewellen 2004 Petite Sirah Santa Barbara County
Vineyard: Los Alamos
Composition: 100% Petite Sirah
Oak: 17 Months French Oak
Fermentation: Punch down
Bottled: March 2006
Production: 373 Cases
Release Date: August 2006
Lucas & Lewellen 2003 Cabernet Sauvignon Santa Barbara County
Vineyard: Valley View
Composition: 83% Cabernet Sauvignon
5% Merlot, 5% Cab Franc,
5% Petite Verdot, 2% Malbec
Oak: 14 Mo. French Oak
Fermentation: Open top hand punch
Bottled: June 2005
Production: 801 Cases
Release Date: January 2007
Lucas & Lewellen 2003 Cabernet Franc Santa Barbara County