There's that guy again. I always see him walking up and down this
block, talking to himself. He gets into it, too, gesturing and
everything. He almost seems like he's having a real conversation, his
end of which is even semi-coherent. It's always about business stuff.
But who knows? He probably thinks he's talking to a six-foot pink
bioluminescent space crayfish or something.
necessarily know he's crazy if you just saw him when he wasn't having
an episode like this. Dresses respectably, sometimes carries a
briefcase. Or the paper, I've seen him with the paper. I bet he thinks
it contains coded messages to him from the Worm-God. But geez, he's
been pacing out here and carrying on at no one for almost nine hours.
He's obviously a tamale or two shy of the combination platter.
way he just--wait, what's he doing? Oh, he's got something in his--he's
taking out--oh, he's got that Cardo Scala Bluetooth headset. What do you
know? No wonder he could do such a marathon gab-fest; the talk time on
those is impressive.
Yep, there he goes. Home, or wherever.
I really thought he was a psychotic; funny, that. Turns out he's just
one of those earpiece-toting jackasses.
Man, I kind of liked him better when I thought he was crazy.
Here's to you, nameless art school graduate. You spent a few years
drinking in the great masters and walked out into a company which
wanted a font that no one could ever forget. By now you're probably
dead, or at least forgotten, but the work lives on. Your creation
marches out like an angry mummy from the tomb, determined to spread the
message for which it was designed. Consume, Dissipate, Buy, it doesn't
matter if they think that Marshall McLuhan was the guy who wrote The
Prisoner or John Oswald was the dude who shot Kennedy. Once you know
the product the words don't matter, because that font doesn't ever mean
anything else. And isn't that what they asked of you? Well done,
immortal nameless guy, well done.
This shirt was designed by: Shirt.Woot member thatrobert, who apparently understands the parody defense.
Wear this shirt: to a U2 concert.
Don't wear this shirt: to buy a puppy from Casey Kasem.
This shirt tells the world: "They probably didn't even bother to print any of these in 3X."
We call this color: Angry Our Logo Isn't On This Red
3X - M: 12" x 4.09"
S-WS: 9" x 3.06"
- Pantone Black C
- 188 C
- Pantone Reflex Blue C
- Pantone Yellow C
(1) Windsor Sonoma Russian River Valley Sauvignon Blanc 2006
Description: (click show to see it)
If you've got a ship in a bottle, break it over your monitor right
now. It'd be the perfect ceremonial gesture to launch a brand-new
winery into the great grapey sea of the wine world. Or maybe instead of
"sea", we should say "river", since Windsor Sonoma specializes in
ultrapremium wines from the exalted Russian River Valley AVA.
The captain of this maiden voyage is no neophyte, though. Wine Spectator
calls Windsor Sonoma's Winemaker Marco DiGiulio "one of Napa's leading
wine consultants." With his CV full of 90+ scores for wineries like
Girard and Lokoya, his steady hand guides these superlative wines
through the foggy, cool Russian River Valley to your waiting glass.
say Pinot Noir is one the varietals that especially thrives in the
Valley, and this bottle of Windsor Sonoma Russian River Valley Pinot
Noir 2006 says they're right, whoever "they" are. Both plump and
supple, like a young Jackie Gleason, this deep garnet Pinot exudes dark
plum, cedar, and anise aromas. On the palate, rich flavors of Bing
cherry pie, ripe red currant, and bittersweet chocolate lead into a
silky finish. So the Russian River Valley produces complex, expressive
Pinot Noirs, they say? Pinot kidding.
You can't bottle
summertime, but the Windsor Sonoma Russian River Valley Chardonnay 2006
comes pretty close. Golden as sunlight, gentle as the breeze on a June
evening, its tropical fruit flavors light up the greyest of winters.
Unlike the actual summertime, it doesn't bring mosquitoes, sunburn, or
heat stroke with it.
Is that honeysuckle we smell? Maybe
with a splash of lime? Must be a Sauvignon Blanc from Russian River
Valley. It's a quintessential Valley varietal, and Windsor Sonoma's
2006 example presents refreshing crisp pear, pink grapefruit, lime, and
honey flavors. Drink it with just about any meal - yes, even White
Castle. We'll keep the wine police at bay.
Launching a new
wine brand is tricky. Even with an acclaimed craftsman like Marco
DiGiulio at the helm, you've gotta establish your bonafides right out
of the gate, especially if you aspire to the demanding ultrapremium
market. This three-pack makes a convincing case that this rookie is for
real. The only thing Windsor Sonoma has to worry about now is the
Windsor Sonoma Russian River Valley Pinot Noir 2006
HARVEST DATE September 17, 2006
TOTAL CASE PRODUCTION 2,016
BOTTLED June 12, 2007
AVERAGE BRIX AT HARVEST 25.0º Brix
AVERAGE pH AT HARVEST pH 3.67
VARIETAL % 100% Pinot Noir
APPELLATION Russian River Valley
ANALYSIS AT BOTTLING
Residual Sugar: .19
Total Acidity: .55
OAK AGING 9 months - 100% French Oak
Windsor Sonoma Russian River Valley Chardonnay 2006
HARVEST DATE September 16-18, 2006
TOTAL CASE PRODUCTION 2,262
BOTTLED July 5, 2007
AVERAGE BRIX AT HARVEST 24.3º Brix
AVERAGE pH AT HARVEST pH 3.45
VARIETAL % 100% Chardonnay
APPELLATION Russian River Valley
ANALYSIS AT BOTTLING
Residual Sugar: .32
Total Acidity: .56
OAK AGING 9 months - 45% New French Oak, 55% Neutral French Oak, with stirring of the lees every two weeks
Windsor Sonoma Russian River Valley Sauvignon Blanc 2006