Doctor Vanvin Von Venvun scowled at the iRobot Scooba purring across the room. He was sure that the Scooba scowled back. Venvun envied the little Scooba's AWARE Robot Intelligence System, the sensor array, the constant scans of the environment, the ability to adjust behavior up to 67 times a second. Doctor Venvun hadn't adjusted anything 67 times a second since he was fifteen. He had long despised the cocky way the Scooba slid across the hardwood floor. Confident. Arrogant. Bold as a Ptolemy. Prepping, washing, scrubbing and drying all in one single pass. Even if someone "forgot" to sweep first, the clever iRobot Scooba still found a way.
Venvun pretended not to notice as the Scooba cleaned an area equal to an entire standard-sized kitchen with one tank of water mixed with cleaning solution. He curled his lip into a sneer as the Scooba made it into hard-to-reach places. He could hear the tiny brushes quietly spinning. It was said that they moved at 1,500 revolutions a minute. Doctor Venvun hadn't moved anything at 1,500 revolutions a minute since he was thirteen. He marveled how the Scooba marched ever onward, letting nothing stop it, master of the known world, building cities of clean from the wreckage of dust and grime.
Venvun watched in bitter amazement as the Scooba picked up a single Rice Krispie. Such delicate suction. Such skillful intake. It was as though he were Darius before Alexander the Great, the Krispie the symbol of a golden empire which was even now falling from his hands. For a moment Venvun considered smashing the power station with the included measuring cup, or maybe pulling out the Scooba's rechargeable battery, or the Virtual Wall, surely it would be possible to jam the Virtual Wall... but in the end, Venvun knew it was all just too late, and he looked at the floor. He was beaten.
Vanvin Von Venvun, PhD in Speculative Janitological Physics, sighed as he lifted his protective paper hat in salute. Did he just imagine that the little iRobot Scooba stopped for a moment, as though acknowledging a fellow general across the battlefield? Perhaps, thought Doctor Venvun as he walked out of Lion Of Macedon Public Elementary School for the last time, perhaps in another life, the iRobot Scooba and I could have been friends.
Warranty: 90 Days from iRobot
Scooba features a proprietary four-stage cleaning system that will simultaneously prep, wash, scrub, and dry your floor in a single pass.
Prep: With Scooba, there's no need to sweep the floor before washing. Scooba preps your floor by picking up loose dirt and light debris, including hair, dust, and many cereals.
Wash: Scooba then washes your floor by laying down a mixture of specially formulated Clorox Scooba cleaning solution and water. Clorox Scooba cleaning solution is safe on all sealed hard floor surfaces. And it's nontoxic, so it's safe to use around kids and pets.
Scrub: Next, Scooba's specially designed brushes gently scrub floors, cleaning spills and removing grime. Scooba's brush spins at 1,500 revolutions per minute, scrubbing your floor more effectively than traditional mops or any other hard-floor cleaning system.
Dry: Finally, Scooba actually dries your floor by picking up the dirty water left on the floor and depositing it into a second tank. The residue is held in the "Dirty" tank until it is emptied. So, instead of just redistributing the dirty water around your floor like standard mops do, Scooba leaves your floor cleaner, drier, and ready to walk on.
Scooba thoroughly cleans floors, covering every section of the floor an average of four times.
During a cleaning cycle, Scooba monitors its environment 67 times per second and adjusts its cleaning behavior for maximum coverage.
Scooba uses three behaviors in every cleaning cycle, ensuring thorough cleaning of the entire area.
Wall Following: Scooba uses this technique to clean the entire perimeter of the room and for navigating around furniture and other obstacles.
Room Crossing: Scooba crisscrosses the room as it looks for new areas to clean, ensuring total coverage of the room.
Spiraling: In this mode, Scooba creates a large spiral pattern to effectively cover large open areas
Floor-washing robot that preps, washes, scrubs, and dries in one pass
Cleans under furniture, tables, and hard-to-reach places
Safe to use on most hard floors, including sealed hardwood, linoleum, tile, and marble
Simple to operate--fill tank, press "Clean," and empty tank when finished
Includes one 8-oz. bottle of cleaning solution
Scooba should not be used on: carpet, unsealed hardwood or stone, laminate flooring (e.g. Pergo)
iRobot approves using only Clorox® Scooba cleaning solution or 2 oz. of
white vinegar. iRobot does not assume responsibility for
floor damage caused by the use of vinegar on hard floor surfaces.
Whats in the Box:
iRobot Scooba floor-washing robot
Battery (Battery Recharges in the Scooba or in an Optional Charging Base)
1 virtual wall (requires 2 D batteries, not included)
8-oz. bottle Clorox Scooba cleaning solution
Got some updated prices? Click here and update them!
They charged you how much? For a cup of coffee? Let me see
that. Whoa, and the cup is freezing cold to boot. Boy, did you get
taken for a--OK, well here's your problem, right here. You've got
whipped cream in here. And ice! I mean actual ice cubes! What are
these, sprinkles or something? It smells kind of... cinnamony. There's,
like... what, fudge or something at the bottom? If you ordered coffee,
you should take this right back; they gave you a sundae that someone
spilled coffee into.
This shirt was designed by: shirt.wooter shmeedles--a congenital tightwad, sure, but our congenital tightwad.
Wear this shirt: to the senior center, or the barber shop, or wherever you cranky cheapskates hang out.
wear this shirt: to a certain ubiquitous coffee chain. Unless you're
just going to get an Odwalla juice; those are sooo good, and worth it.
This shirt tells the world: "I've not yet succumbed to Starbucks Fatigue Fatigue."
We call this color: With A Daily Five-Dollar Drink Fix It's Your Own Dumb-Asphalt You're Broke
3X - M: 8.76" x 8.75"
S-WS: 6.57" x 6.56"
(1) Windsor Sonoma Russian River Valley Pinot Noir 2006
(1) Windsor Sonoma Russian River Valley Chardonnay 2006
(1) Windsor Sonoma Russian River Valley Sauvignon Blanc 2006
Description: (click show to see it)
If you've got a ship in a bottle, break it over your monitor right
now. It'd be the perfect ceremonial gesture to launch a brand-new
winery into the great grapey sea of the wine world. Or maybe instead of
"sea", we should say "river", since Windsor Sonoma specializes in
ultrapremium wines from the exalted Russian River Valley AVA.
The captain of this maiden voyage is no neophyte, though. Wine Spectator
calls Windsor Sonoma's Winemaker Marco DiGiulio "one of Napa's leading
wine consultants." With his CV full of 90+ scores for wineries like
Girard and Lokoya, his steady hand guides these superlative wines
through the foggy, cool Russian River Valley to your waiting glass.
say Pinot Noir is one the varietals that especially thrives in the
Valley, and this bottle of Windsor Sonoma Russian River Valley Pinot
Noir 2006 says they're right, whoever "they" are. Both plump and
supple, like a young Jackie Gleason, this deep garnet Pinot exudes dark
plum, cedar, and anise aromas. On the palate, rich flavors of Bing
cherry pie, ripe red currant, and bittersweet chocolate lead into a
silky finish. So the Russian River Valley produces complex, expressive
Pinot Noirs, they say? Pinot kidding.
You can't bottle
summertime, but the Windsor Sonoma Russian River Valley Chardonnay 2006
comes pretty close. Golden as sunlight, gentle as the breeze on a June
evening, its tropical fruit flavors light up the greyest of winters.
Unlike the actual summertime, it doesn't bring mosquitoes, sunburn, or
heat stroke with it.
Is that honeysuckle we smell? Maybe
with a splash of lime? Must be a Sauvignon Blanc from Russian River
Valley. It's a quintessential Valley varietal, and Windsor Sonoma's
2006 example presents refreshing crisp pear, pink grapefruit, lime, and
honey flavors. Drink it with just about any meal - yes, even White
Castle. We'll keep the wine police at bay.
Launching a new
wine brand is tricky. Even with an acclaimed craftsman like Marco
DiGiulio at the helm, you've gotta establish your bonafides right out
of the gate, especially if you aspire to the demanding ultrapremium
market. This three-pack makes a convincing case that this rookie is for
real. The only thing Windsor Sonoma has to worry about now is the
Windsor Sonoma Russian River Valley Pinot Noir 2006
HARVEST DATE September 17, 2006
TOTAL CASE PRODUCTION 2,016
BOTTLED June 12, 2007
AVERAGE BRIX AT HARVEST 25.0º Brix
AVERAGE pH AT HARVEST pH 3.67
VARIETAL % 100% Pinot Noir
APPELLATION Russian River Valley
ANALYSIS AT BOTTLING
Residual Sugar: .19
Total Acidity: .55
OAK AGING 9 months - 100% French Oak
Windsor Sonoma Russian River Valley Chardonnay 2006
HARVEST DATE September 16-18, 2006
TOTAL CASE PRODUCTION 2,262
BOTTLED July 5, 2007
AVERAGE BRIX AT HARVEST 24.3º Brix
AVERAGE pH AT HARVEST pH 3.45
VARIETAL % 100% Chardonnay
APPELLATION Russian River Valley
ANALYSIS AT BOTTLING
Residual Sugar: .32
Total Acidity: .56
OAK AGING 9 months - 45% New French Oak, 55% Neutral French Oak, with stirring of the lees every two weeks
Windsor Sonoma Russian River Valley Sauvignon Blanc 2006