I pull on my black pleather flight gloves.
With a faint whimper of protest, the petro-textile strains to contain
my fat fingers (it's genetic). I adjust my sunglasses. Not Ray-Bans,
but you can't tell from a distance, and anyway they don't carry
Ray-Bans for $5.99 at the gas station. I grip the infrared remote. A
thrill runs through my whole body.
I own the heavens. I'm
faster than the Devil's own dirty thoughts. I'm a defender of liberty.
A sentry of the skies. I am what Tommy Lee Jones called--in the 1990
anti-drug classic Fire Birds--"a first-class all-American hero
with his heart and brain wired together, cooking full-tilt boogie for
freedom and justice." America's enemies: I give 'em the bird. The whirly-bird.
what a bird she is! Tiny and ultra-lightweight, she's crafted from a
"Unique Material" that's reputed to "Withstand Crashes." Ha! One day
I'd like to meet the sad little desk jockeys who write this stuff.
Withstands crashes! NOT THE WAY I CRASH, PAL.
Warranty: 90 days
Super Wide Infrared Control
Miniature Size and Light Weight
Unique Material Withstands Crashes
3.7 V Li-Poly Battery installed in Helicopter
Recommended for Ages 8 and Up
Remote Control Requires 6 "AA" Batteries (Not Included)
Included: Helicopter with 3.7 V battery, Remote Control, One Extra TailProp, Instruction Manual
Got some updated prices? Click here and update them!
Third Place in Derby #16 ("Information Graphics"), with 596 votes!
Let's see...what to say about this t-shirt? Something about how the
creative process, fascinating and mysterious though it may be, is
usually hella boring to watch? Maybe a joke about how we'll never
understand what goes on in the human mind until we get better
microscopes? Let's see, there are all kinds of monsters and stuff on
the shirt - could that go anywhere? How could I possilby sum up the
creative process in one short paragraph? Oh, wait, I know...
Wear this shirt: when you're wrestling with the Muses, wringing inspiration from their mythical necks.
Don't wear this shirt:
if you're going to use that inspiration to play nu-metal music, paint
sad hobo clowns, draw a comic strip about a comically oversized hound
dog, or come up with clever accounting tricks to hide your energy
conglomerate's massive liabilities.
This shirt tells the world:
"See, I'm, like, one of those creative types who make the world such a
beautiful place. So don't be so uptight about the body odor, OK?"
We call this color: Blue Matter.
Design Placement: Centered
- 3X - M: 11" x 16.6"
- S-WS: 8.25" x 12.45"
(1) Mumm Napa Single Vineyard Deveaux Ranch Sparkling Wine
Description: (click show to see it)
This New Year's Eve, when it comes time to raise your glass for a
cha- er, sparkling wine toast, why settle for whatever was on sale at
the A&P? Whether you're thanking your stars for an annus mirabilis or bidding good riddance to an annus horribilis,
2007 deserves better. 2008 deserves better. You deserve better. And
unless you're, like, Jay-Z or somebody, you probably won't do much
better than these three bottles of championship-quality bubbly from
As their flagship Brut Prestige shows, Mumm Napa's
reputation as a premier sparkling winery is no sham. Pains are taken by
winemaker Ludovic Dervin to synthesize fruit from over 50 vineyards
into a symphony of effervescent, creamy white blossom, vanilla, citrus,
and melon flavors. Dervin says it's the most challenging Mumm Napa
cham- er, sparkling wine to make, and this chap ain't just blowing
Some years ago, the wine shamans at Mumm Napa
whiled away a stray hour or two producing an off-dry sparkling wine,
never suspecting it would go any further than the Mumm Napa tasting
chamber. But their Cuv�e M champed at the bit, its savage bubbles
bursting free of the Mumm Napa premises and frothing all over the
continent. Now sparkling wine lovers from Lake Champlain to
Champaign-Urbana can enjoy its slight peachy-creamy sweetness. Mumm
Napa recommends taking yours with a side of Thai Kettle Chips from
Trader Joe's. Incidentally, Thailand is home to the ethnically Malayan
Muslim minority people known as the Cham. Just thought we'd mention it.
Mumm Napa Devaux Ranch is no shambles, either. As the first
single-vineyard blend from the Carneros vineyard named after Mumm Napa
founding winemaker Guy Devaux, its fruit is steeped in fog and cool
breezes from nearby San Pablo Bay. The Chardonnay's shameless acidity
echoes in this wine's citrus and apple notes, while the Pinot Noir
provides a full-bodied berry character. The Devaux Ranch's round and
creamy mouthfeel goes down as smooth as chamois and soft as chambray,
and its flavors of ripe fig, red apple, and French vanilla taste
nothing like shampoo.
If they could speak from beyond the
grave, Marcel Duchamp, Agnes Moorehead, Shemp Howard, and other
deceased lovers of life would tell you: "Drink champagne while you can.
The wine list in the afterlife stinks." If you can't follow that advice
to the letter, Mumm Napa bubbly is the champa- er, Cadillac of