Our deal-sense is tingling. We feel...a disturbance.
Forces are shifting. Constellations are aligning. The clouds of fate
roil madly in the sky of destiny, presaging severe kismet storms with a
40% chance of serendipity. The universe is trying to tell you
something. No, not "live life to the fullest" or "love your fellow
Earthlings" or "wash me". It's saying "Buy a Zune now."
about the engineers and R&D people who designed the Zune, the
workers who labored to mine and manufacture its components, the
programmers who created its media-playing software. Consider its 30GB
hard drive, 3" widescreen LCD, its FM tuner
and headphones and wireless interface. Ponder, if you will, how its
battery can play for up to 14 hours on a charge - even more if you
augment it with the <a href="http://sellout.woot.com/">Belkin TunePower</a>
(sold separately, by us). And yet, somehow, we're able to bring you
your choice of black or white Zunes - the attractive ones - for the
ludicrous price shown above. You're telling us that's a mere ninety
bucks worth of parts and labor? There's got to be something
supernatural going on here.
Skeptics will say otherwise.
They'll point out how Microsoft made way too many brown Zunes, and the
glut of those unloved models has constipated their entire system.
They'll drone on about the upcoming release of the Zune 2, and
Microsoft's willingness to absorb any cost to grab a piece of the
personal media market. They'll do anything but face the truth: that
forces beyond our understanding are nudging us all toward Zune
ownership, for reasons the human mind cannot begin to comprehend.
do we know? Why are we so sure? Because we've felt it ourselves. Late
last night, as we were planning this sale, a chill wind blew through
our transom. We were seized by an unexplained impulse to offer a free <a href="http://www.zune.net/en-us/accessories/zune/zunetravelpack.htm">Zune Travel Pack</a> to anyone who orders two or three Zunes. It includes the Zune Premium Earphones, Dual Connect Remote, AC Charger,
Sync Cable, and a decent carrying bag. Its value is listed at $99.99,
although list prices obviously mean nothing in this strange new world.
We feel irresistibly compelled to throw one of these kits into every
order of multiple Zunes (just one free kit per order, not per Zune). We
suspect the universe wants you to buy multiple Zunes, or hook a friend
into buying one along with yours so you can keep the kit, and maybe
even tell the friend the Zunes cost more than they do so you can get
yours even cheaper. That's between you and this so-called friend. The
universe doesn't care either way.
The one thing we do know
is that this celestial blue-light special won't last long. The Fates
will weave a new skein, the stars will drift out of calibration,
Microsoft will finally clear their warehouses. Our preliminary
sheep-entrail readings confirm it: you probably won't be able to get a
full-featured media player this potent for less than $100, and hence
fulfill the cosmic destiny of humankind, for years to come. Pre-order from Amazon, employ Google Checkout at Buy.com, or grab a Black or White Zune from Woot, while you can. Do you
really want to tempt fate?
Travel Pack Bonus Extra Clarification: Order 1 Zune and you get a Zune.
Order 2 Zunes and you get 2 Zunes and 1 Travel Pack. Order 3 Zunes and
you get 3 Zunes and 1 Travel Pack. As usual, Woot shipping is $5 per
order regardless of quantity.
Warranty: One year
30GB hard drive stores up to 7,500 songs, 25,000 pictures or 100 hours of video (128 Kbps)
3" bright color LCD display can be customized with your photos for a personalized appearance
Resolution 320×240, vertical or horizontal orientation
Ultracompact player measures just 0.6" thin and weighs 5 oz.
Supports MP3, WMA and ACC audio formats, displays JPEG image formats plus displays WMV, MPEG-4 and H.264 video formats
Built-in FM tuner with RBDS broadcast signal support to display artist and track title
Equalizer for a customized listening experience
USB 2.0 interface for fast transfer speeds
Zune-to-Zune sharing allows you to use a built-in 802.11b/g wireless interface to share tracks, homemade recordings, playlists and pictures with other Zune users; received tracks expire after you have listened 3 times or 3 days
Flag shared tracks you like for easy downloading later with your Zune Pass (subscription required) in the Zune Marketplace
Up to 14 hours battery life with the built-in lithium-ion battery
Dimensions: 4.4×2.4×0.6 (HxWxD)
Weight: 5.6 ounces
Got some updated prices? Click here and update them!
You're underwater... or is it in space? Maybe it isn't even this
universe at all. Twilight, Negative, No Parking, P', there are so many
Zones out there you couldn't even begin to guess. All you can do is
focus on the little pink monster staring you down from a plume of Kirby
Dots. A octopus with super-science? A jellyfish Sorcerer Supreme? Do
those horns hide a lonely soul that only wants a friend or a gelatinous
This shirt was designed by: Justin Lloyd of <a href="http://www/myspace.com/blackseaapparel">Black Sea Apparel</a>
. From his Annapolis, MD fortress, Justin commands a fleet of loyal
hunchbacks that do his every bidding. Good thing he thinks small, or he
could be conquering the world instead of making lovely t-shirts.
Wear this shirt: to a summit meeting of the G-8. We'd just like to see it show up on the news.
Don't wear this shirt:
Okay, there's this little barbeque place in North Carolina, it's about
an hour's drive from Lexington, and you have to get off the main road
and look for this really big tree, I know that sounds funny but trust
me, it's a really really big tree and you'll know right away, and
anyway you make a left turn right there and drive for like ten minutes
and you'll see this old gas station that reads "S ELL"
unless another letter fell off, but right there you'll see this dirt
road, and you gotta go really slow or you'll wreck your tires, and
don't roll down the windows because that road is so narrow that the
squirrels will just jump right in your car for fun, but when you get to
the end of the road you'll see this little shack that's only open on
Wednesday for about a half hour around noon, if it isn't raining, and
they have these ribs that are just soaking in sauce and the best iced
tea, and the cornbread, oh, you would not believe it, and you can't
leave without trying a big piece of the fried catfish, because you take
a bite and wow! It would even make a Marine cry with joy! Anyway, don't
wear this shirt there.
This shirt tells the world: "I read that whole stupid paragraph."
We call this color: Garnish Of Lemon
Placement: Left side
3X - M: 6.49" x 17"
S-WS: 4.86" x 12.75"
(1) Mumm Napa Single Vineyard Deveaux Ranch Sparkling Wine
Description: (click show to see it)
This New Year's Eve, when it comes time to raise your glass for a
cha- er, sparkling wine toast, why settle for whatever was on sale at
the A&P? Whether you're thanking your stars for an annus mirabilis or bidding good riddance to an annus horribilis,
2007 deserves better. 2008 deserves better. You deserve better. And
unless you're, like, Jay-Z or somebody, you probably won't do much
better than these three bottles of championship-quality bubbly from
As their flagship Brut Prestige shows, Mumm Napa's
reputation as a premier sparkling winery is no sham. Pains are taken by
winemaker Ludovic Dervin to synthesize fruit from over 50 vineyards
into a symphony of effervescent, creamy white blossom, vanilla, citrus,
and melon flavors. Dervin says it's the most challenging Mumm Napa
cham- er, sparkling wine to make, and this chap ain't just blowing
Some years ago, the wine shamans at Mumm Napa
whiled away a stray hour or two producing an off-dry sparkling wine,
never suspecting it would go any further than the Mumm Napa tasting
chamber. But their Cuv�e M champed at the bit, its savage bubbles
bursting free of the Mumm Napa premises and frothing all over the
continent. Now sparkling wine lovers from Lake Champlain to
Champaign-Urbana can enjoy its slight peachy-creamy sweetness. Mumm
Napa recommends taking yours with a side of Thai Kettle Chips from
Trader Joe's. Incidentally, Thailand is home to the ethnically Malayan
Muslim minority people known as the Cham. Just thought we'd mention it.
Mumm Napa Devaux Ranch is no shambles, either. As the first
single-vineyard blend from the Carneros vineyard named after Mumm Napa
founding winemaker Guy Devaux, its fruit is steeped in fog and cool
breezes from nearby San Pablo Bay. The Chardonnay's shameless acidity
echoes in this wine's citrus and apple notes, while the Pinot Noir
provides a full-bodied berry character. The Devaux Ranch's round and
creamy mouthfeel goes down as smooth as chamois and soft as chambray,
and its flavors of ripe fig, red apple, and French vanilla taste
nothing like shampoo.
If they could speak from beyond the
grave, Marcel Duchamp, Agnes Moorehead, Shemp Howard, and other
deceased lovers of life would tell you: "Drink champagne while you can.
The wine list in the afterlife stinks." If you can't follow that advice
to the letter, Mumm Napa bubbly is the champa- er, Cadillac of