I don't know who you are, but I'm onto you. I know you're not reallymy son. Oh, the resemblance to the real Jared is uncanny. The haircutis exactly right, the eyes are the right shade of blue, and those areeven the same clothes I laid out for him this morning. Nice job.Anybody who doesn't know Jared as well as I do would be fooled. But Iknow the score. For some reason, somebody has replaced all of my lovedones with inexact duplicates. Again.
Well, it's a good thingI bought two of these Global HK-TF2005A Radio-Controlled Helicoptersfor Jared's birthday. Since you look so much like Jared, I assume you'denjoy this ultra-light microcopter as much as he would. Their tri-bandtechnology minimizes interference from other devices, and theirauto-stable features keep them flying upright. With their durableconstruction, I think they'll even withstand crashing into the ceilingfan. Remember how you broke your little wooden glider like that?
Liar. You can't possibly remember. You weren't here, you impostor. That was the real Jared.
Or was it?
Anyway, I don't know who you're working for or why you're here, little boy - if you areactually a little boy. But since Jared isn't here, you might as welltake one of these Global HK-TF2005A Radio-Controlled Helicopters. Ifyou know where they've taken Jared, see that he gets the other one.
What? No, I haven't taken my Crolazor today. How did you know about that? Have you been talking to Jared?
Warranty: 90 days
Super Wide Infrared Control
Miniature Size and Light Weight
Unique Material Withstands Crashes
One 3.7 V Li-Poly Battery Included per Helicopter
Recommended for Ages 8 and Up
Each Remote Control Requires 6 "AA" Batteries (Not Included)
What'sIncluded: Helicopter with 3.7 V battery, Remote Control, One Extra TailPropeller, Aluminum Labels and Instruction Manual
* Prices quoted for ONE single item, not a pair.
Got some updated prices? Click here and update them!
One! Two! Three! Four! We declare you'll look swell wearing this graphic depiction of the brutality of digital combat. Where we thumb from, using a helmet and gun would be considered cheating. But what's that they say? All's fair in love and thumbwrestling?
This shirt was designed by: <a href="www.stefmcfeters.com">Stef McFeters</a>, who loves beer, cheese, Social Distortion, foreign accents, and putting her silly drawings onto t-shirts and selling them, here and <a href="http://www.threadless.com/profile/71605/mezo">elsewhere</a>.
Wear this shirt: to show your support for our brave young thumbs in uniform.
Don't wear this shirt: around unstable thumb-war veterans. It might cause some flashbacks.
(1) Donati Family Vineyard 2003 Cabernet Sauvignon
(1) Donati Family Vineyard 2004 Merlot
Description: (click show to see it)
It's the most exciting time of the year to be a baseball fan. Hearts
rise and fall with every pitch. Moments of high drama and low comedy
reveal new heroes and immortal goats. And the repugnant,
loathsome Chicago Cubs made a quick exit from the postseason, to the relief of an
You beer fans out there might think
baseball and wine don't mix, but don't tell that to Matt Donati. He
played college ball at the University of San Francisco (go Dons!) and
coached high school for a couple of years before he traded the ballyard
for the vineyard. Just like when the two Griffeys patrolled the same
Seattle outfield, Matt joined his dad Ron to develop Donati Family
Vineyard in the Paicines AVA in California's Central Coast region.
a recent expansion-team addition to the California Wine League, the
Donatis knew they had to land a big-name superstar to propel them to
the top of the standings. These would-be Steinbrenners found their
A-Rod in winemaker Dan Kleck, whose widely-known reputation and talent
brought instant credibility to the winery. And they've given him
nothing but estate-grown fruit to work with.
So the team
looked good on paper. But nobody drinks paper. The proof is in these
three bottles, a Murderer's Row of Paicines reds that could fit into
the heart of any drinking order.
The 2003 Donati Family
Vineyard Meritage is a classic four-tool player, bringing Cabernet
Sauvignon, Merlot, Cabernet Franc, and Malbec to the table. Both
powerful and supple, its complex character allows for the truest
expression of each of its four fruits, along with notes of vanilla,
smoke, and spice from its tight-grained oak cooperage. Is it too early
to make room for its plaque in the Hall of Fame?
baseball, winemaking is a game of inches. The 2003 Donati Family
Cabernet Sauvignon pays attention to the little things that add up to
big victories: full ripening of tannins in the vineyard, thin-stave oak
barrels, exacting concentration of flavor and color. When you need
somebody to hit a ground ball to the right side to move the runner
over, this Cab is your guy. But it can also pull off the spectacular
plays that make the highlight reel, with a lush mouthfeel and warm
toast and vanilla accents just as thrilling as anything you'll see on SportsCenter tonight.
teams are always strong up the middle, with a solid Merlot a necessity
in the lineup. The 2004 Donati Family Merlot is muscular enough to hit
cleanup and versatile enough to play anywhere in the field. Richly
flavored but mellow and balanced, it always hits well against roast
duck, leg of lamb, or red pasta.
Whoever hoists that
many-flagged golden trophy a few weeks from now, baseball fans will
have enjoyed an awful lot of top-flight baseball. And the smartest fans
will have enjoyed a bottle or three of these Donati Family Vineyards