Once upon a time, wootie-pies, there was a handsome young man who came upon an iRobot Roomba Discovery SE 4220. The iRobot Roomba Discovery SE 4220
could sense and find dirt, provide up to 120 minutes of cleaning power,
recharge in three hours and was smarter than any regular vacuum, yet
was lying there, unable to move. The young man looked down, and saw
that the iRobot Roomba Discovery SE 4220 was
caught on a piece of a pizza box that was smeared with peanut butter
and cat hair. The young man clicked his tongue with pity and helped the
poor Roomba free. It did not say thank you or look back, it merely
rolled on, cleaning the forest and heading toward the recharge station
it called home. The young man went along his own path as well.
went by, and the young man was now old, and had also somehow been
captured by bandits! The bandits threw the old young man into a pit
full of sharp sticks and poorly stuffed bean bags. They yelled from
above and threw inexpensive cheese at his face, as bandits often do.
From deep in the dark corner of the pit, the old young man heard a
rumbling of stair-sensing technology coming to lif, and he trembled as
it began moving through the Virtual Walls that kept it in check,
growing closer and closer to him...
It was the iRobot Roomba Discovery SE 4220
he had rescued all those years ago! Surely, he thought to himself,
surely it will repay my kindness today! But no, my friends, the iRobot
Roomba Discovery SE 4220 simply rolled over
him without remorse, pity, or any spark of good intentions whatsoever,
as though he were just another dust bunny. And that brings us to our
moral, wootie-pies. For now you understand why all of nature abhors a
Warranty: 1 year
Active Dirt Response: Roomba senses and finds dirt. Once dirtier
areas are detected, Roomba automatically increases the intensity and
focus of its cleaning.
Cleaning Intelligence: Just push a button and Roomba automatically
calculates how long it needs to work to clean your entire room.
Advanced Power System: Roomba has a microprocessor controlled
charging system that provides up to 120 minutes of cleaning power, It
recharges its battery in 3 hours, 60% faster than the original Roomba.
With the Advanced Power System, Roomba can clean up to 4 rooms before
Proprietary Cleaning System: Roomba's high efficiency vacuum has a
wide cleaning path, 2-times more powerful suction and counter-rotating
agitators to reach into your carpet and remove the dirt. The entire
cleaning head automatically adjusts for both carpet and hard floor
Roomba's spinning sidebrush and Wall Following technology team up
to grab dirt and debris from wall edges and other hard-to-reach places.
Three powerful cleaning modes: Clean, Spot and Max
Air filter prevents dust and dirt from entering Roomba's vacuum system or your air
Self-Charging Home Base--Roomba now has the built-in intelligence to automatically return to its self-charging home base when its battery is low or it has completed a cleaning cycle. This means your Roomba will always be charged and ready for its next cleaning mission.
Stasis Sensor--Roomba immediately detects when it's stuck and initiates its careful escape routine
Max Mode--Run the Roomba for the full charge of the battery to vacuum multiple rooms
Spot Mode--Intensely cleans one area of a room up to three feet in diameter
2 Virtual Walls--Keeps the Roomba where its wanted by blocking doorways with an invisible beam
Multi-Surface Cleaning--Cleans hardwood, tile, linoleum, and low-to-medium pile carpet
Automatic Surface Transitioning--The entire cleaning head adjusts automatically for both carpet and hard floor surfaces
Automatic Stair Avoidance System--Leave Roomba by itself without worrying about it falling down stairs
Standard infrared remote control lets you control standard Roomba functions from across the room
Bagless debris bin now holds three times the dirt
iRobot Roomba Discover SE 4220
Rechargeable APS Battery
3 hour charger
2 Virtual Walls
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The story goes that the ancient Egyptians believed in trepanation (the act of putting a non-lethal hole in the skull) as a means of drawing the blood up into the head, cooling the brain and making the patient smarter. Twenty-first century types know that the same effect can be caused by eating an entire ice cream cone in six bites. Hooray for the glory that is modern medicine! This shirt was designed by: Mikko Walamies, a university student and freelance illustrator/graphic designer from Finland. He is available for commissions and his website is <a onclick="return top.js.OpenExtLink(window,event,this)" href="http://walamies.5gbfree.com/" target="_blank">http://walamies.5gbfree.com/</a>. Linking you there makes us feel cheap and used, like we were just another step on his ladder of success. We really cared about you, Mikko. We thought we had something special. Wear this shirt to: the animal shelter, when you go to adopt a kitten. Nothing makes a lonely kitten happier than a drawing of an exposed brain. Don't wear this shirt to: An ice cream parlor. Come on, that's like the guy who wears a band's t-shirt at the band's show. Major clothing faux-pas.
This shirt tells the world: "I like my art the way I like my women: delicious and stretched across my chest."
We call this color: Salmon Blood (with a caramel ribbon)
The people at Roshambo Winery like to have a good time. And they
don't particularly care about conforming to some narrow, ossified idea
about how a proper winery carries itself. So they give their wineries
names like the Rat and Obvious. They put on events like a Willy Wonka
costume party and a Drag Brunch and conceptual art shows. They even
named the winery after a children's game: Roshambo is another name for
the game also known as rock, paper, scissors, and Roshambo Winery hosts
the world's biggest rock, paper, scissors tournament (the next one is
October 6 in Santa Rosa, Sonoma). It's all in the name of democratizing
the appeal of wine, and showing that wine and fun are not mortal
Problem is, sometimes people get the wrong idea.
They look at all the antics and assume that the actual wine must play
second tuba to the spectacle. These uncouth upstarts couldn't possibly
produce wine worthy of an educated palate! And besides, if Roshambo
convinces the great unwashed to put down their beer cans and pick up
glasses of wine, then being a wine snob will lose all its cachet.
let's hope so. See, as the scion of an esteemed California
grape-growing family, Roshambo owner Naomi Johnson Brilliant has the
skills to make the Roshambo mission more than just a cynical marketing
gimmick. She grew up among grapes on her grandfather Frank Johnson's
vineyard, innocently unaware that those grapes were hotly sought by
winemakers, and that Frank Johnson Vineyard was one of the first
vineyard-designated appellations. Wine isn't literally in Naomi's
blood, but we bet the two substances share some striking similarities.
pedigree is one thing. As Roshambo would be the first to tell you, what
really matters is what's in the bottle. And what's in this bottle of
Roshambo 2005 Rock, Paper, Scissors Merlot is as unpretentious and
engaging as a round of rock, paper, scissors. Currant and black cherry
cover everything, while mint and coconut cut through the nose, and
chocolate and vanilla break through on the palate. It likes pizza and
pasta, but really, it's up for whatever.
guttersnipe name, Roshambo 2005 Carignane "The Rat" managed to score
Double Gold Best of Class Winner at the 2006 Sonoma County Fair. While
your typical wine rat won't recognize the varietal, a few wafts of its
big, accessible framboise, smoke, and violet aromas is all the
introduction they'll need. It's red, but psst: try it lightly chilled.
Go on, the Wine Police won't arrest you.
It's an American
tradition to oak chardonnay, and it's a wine-snob tradition to turn up
one's nose at it. As you'd expect, Roshambo turns both traditions on
their crusty old ears. Roshambo 2004 Chardonnay "Imago" is fermented in
nothing but stainless (and flavorless) steel, so you taste the fruit,
not the tree. Instead of oaky butter, here we find crisp, tropical
flavors of white peach, pineapple, pear, and lemon zest. The "anything
but Chardonnay" brigade ignore it to their detriment.
the snobs snicker and the scolds scoff. Let the exalted grand poobahs
of the grape issue their fatwas against those who violate proper wine
decorum. Roshambo's heard it all before. Although lately, they're
hearing it less and less...
Roshambo Rock, Paper, Scissors 2005 Merlot
Vintage: 2005 Varietal: 100% Merlot Appellation: 100% Dry Creek Valley Alcohol: 13.9% pH: 3.85 Release Date: pending Production: 2,141 cases Wood: 100 pounds New French oak infused
Roshambo The Rat 2005 Carignane
Vintage: 2005 Varietal: 100% Carignane Appellation: 100% Angeli Vineyard, Alexander Valley Alcohol: 14.4% pH: 3.50 Release Date: 9/30/06 Production: 480 cases Wood: 100% neutral oak Roshambo Imago 2004 Chardonnay
VINTAGE: 2004 VARIETAL: Chardonnay APPELLATION: Sonoma County ALCOHOL: 13.9% RELEASE DATE: spring 2005 PRODUCTION: 4000 cases WOODS USED: never had it, never will.