(1) Oreck XL Professional Air Purifier, Signature Series
Description: (click show to see it)
(cough, cough) Oh, hey, uh, come on in. Did we have a meeting today?
Oh, right, right, I was preparing a brief for...uh..._(cough)_ I'm sorry, refresh my
Of course, yeah, your custody case. Well, I was researching some (cough,
cough) precedents over at the university law library, and they,
(cough) they, uh, have the most incredible little coffee stand outside
that library there. I don't know what it is, but (cough) I took one
sip, and I was like "Oh, my God, this is the most awe-inspiring experience of my
(cough) life." It tasted like <a href="http://wine.woot.com/">fine
wine</a> or something. I was all, man, did I go into the wrong field when I
became a lawyer! Think of (cough, cough) how amazing it would be to
make that coffee every morn-
OK, you're right, sorry. (cough, cough) Back to the case. Of course,
custody cases (cough) can be (cough) unpredictable, but I
think we've got a strong case if we cross all our i's and dot all our t's. Now,
where did I (cough) put that file? Is that it? No. Man, I'm always
(cough) doing this. Hey, let me ask you something: do you (cough,
cough) smell anything in here? No?
Awesome. See, I, I, uh (cough), sometimes I get these, uh, strong
smells in the office, so, uh, (cough) I had to get this Oreck XL Signature Series (cough) Professional Air
Purifier. You can't even hear it, either, can you? (cough, cough) Right
on. It's totally quiet, exceeds (cough) HEPA standards - man, that's a
weird word, "HEPA", isn't it? Say it a couple times. HEPA. HEPA. Whoa. (cough, cough) And yeah, you never
need to (cough) change the, uh, what do you call it, the filter
(cough) . Good for me, because I'm always (cough, cough)
forgetting to do stuff like that.
So yeah, uh, (cough) here's your file. Now, let's see...
(cough) Oh, man, is that clock right? Seriously? Aw, dammit. Listen,
I'm sorry, but (cough) I was supposed to be in court, like, (cough,
cough) twenty minutes ago, so I gotta ramble. But I think we
(cough) made some progress here on your probate case (cough) -
or, right, yeah, your custody case, so I'll call you sometime (cough)
or whatever, and uh, hey, could you hand me that (cough) Visine?
Warranty: One year Oreck
Traps up to 95% of particles as minute as 0.1 microns.
Removes air pollutants like dust, lint, pollen, pet dander, smoke, and dust
Uses the same clean-air technology that U.S. submarines use.
Silence Technology® for quietest operation
Captures and destroys bacteria, viruses, molds and fungi
Permanent filter never needs replacing
Powerful fan cleans 30' x 30' room every hour
5-Stage Purification Process
Air Revitalizer helps to freshen stale air
Status indicator: Turns red when it's time to clean the filter
Compact design: Use on tabletop or mount on wall (wall mount optional)
Bonsoir, monsieurs et dames. Today's study in madness offers an unsettling portrait of a mind in distress. This cat isn't here for you to stroke patronizingly and babble cutesy gibberish at. This pet is nobody's pet. It may not even be a cat at all. Halftoned photorealism crashes into primitive cartooning, and the offspring stares through two pairs of eyes. Why does it exist? Why do you? This shirt was designed by: French illustrator Nicolas Marcon, aka <a href="http://monsieur-pimpant.blogspot.com/">Monsieur Pimpant</a>. His work runs the gamut from disturbing whimsy to whimsical disturbance.
Wear this shirt to: distinguish yourself from those other cat people. You know, the ones with Garfield strips on their refrigerators and "Hang In There" posters, the type of gushy cat-lovers who romanticize the base natural instincts of this predatory animal. You're totally different from those dorks. Don't wear this shirt to: a furry party, unless you're there to get in on the fun.
This shirt tells the world: "Inside every bipedal cat, there's a crudely drawn man with glasses trying to get out." We call this color: The Long, Dark Cranberry Of The Soul.
(2) Saxon Brown 2004 Syrah, Parmelee-Hill "Camp Block" Sonoma Valley
Description: (click show to see it)
Can you really put a price on a person's soul? Maybe if you're the
Devil, but we're assuming you aren't. Can you really tally up the
(figurative) sweat and tears and passion and hope that go into a bottle
of wine, and put a dollar figure on that amount? Well, of course you
can. There has to be some number on the price tag for this superlative Syrah. But what
means a mere number?
Saxon Brown owner/winemaker Jeff
Gaffner's spirit won't fit in your spreadsheet. Your calculator can't
tell you anything meaningful about his Saxon Brown 2004 Syrah,
Parmelee-Hill "Camp Block" Sonoma Valley. Saxon Brown doesn't emphasize
gentle handling, slow fermentations, and lengthy aging because some
accountant told them do - they do it because they're winemakers, and
that's the way to make wine. No offense meant to accountants, of
course. But nobody pairs their filet mignon with a really good Form 8-K.
by Steve and Gwen Hill in the red loam of the Camp Block parcel of
Parmelee-Hill vineyard in Sonoma Valley, these Syrah grapes knew
nothing of balance sheets and accounts payable. And you'll forget all
about such mundanities when you get a load of their dense color and
catch a whiff of their lively aromatics. A scent-stew of violets, black
cherry, mocha, cigar tobacco, brown spice, and refined oak carry
through to the rich, well-structured palate. The resplendent finish is
like a long nap on a satin pillow full of duckling down. Money? What's
So this two-pack runs a little higher than the usual
Wine.Woot offering. Big deal. Would you really rather have an extra
five or ten bucks than the transcendent experience of this Saxon Brown
2004 Syrah? Believe us, Jeff Gaffner put a lot more than fifty bucks'
worth of love and craft and obsessive detail into these two bottles.
Buy it or don't - but don't decide based on trivial fiduciary concerns.
Just this once, let your soul have the credit card.
2004 Syrah, Parmelee-Hill "Camp Block" Sonoma Valley
Planted in 1996 in south west Sonoma Valley, is owned and farmed by
Steve Hill and his wife Gwen. This is the same Steve Hill who manages
the famed Durell Vineyard, right next door. The fruit for this
block-designate wine is from the Camp Block, a 1.5 acre parcel that
sits on the edge of a hill near the family's camp site. Here, the
Durell selection is planted on S04 Rootstock in clay loam (red/brown) soils.
As with all Saxon Brown wines, we emphasize gentle handling and slow
fermentations followed by lengthy aging to promote wines of elegance
and longevity. We harvested our Parmelee-Hill "Camp Block" Syrah at
about 25.5 Brix in the cool early morning hours. The must was cold
soaked/extracted for three days, yeasted with a low rate of yeast "for
slow fermentation" and pressed to barrel after 14 days. The wine was
barreled down cloudy in new and one-year-old French oak barrels. After
completion of malolactic fermentation, the wine was racked off the lees
and returned back to the same barrels for an additional 10 months.