(1) Polaroid T737 7Megapixel Digital Camera w/3X Zoom
Description: (click show to see it)
Why do we like the Polaroid T737? We could
rattle off all kinds of rational, substantive reasons, reasons having
to do with its usefulness and performance. We could say it's because of
its 7MP resolution, or its 3X optical zoom. We could cite the image
stabilization, PictBridge capability, and big 3" LCD.
Oh, and this price doesn't hurt, either. But if we're being honest, we
have to admit that none of that has anything to do with why we really
like the T737. The real reason?
look at it. The red-diamond motif on the front? Totally sharp. The ring
of recessed diamonds around the lens? Lovely. The austere, refined look
of the back, with the unadorned LCD and the
understated, backlit buttons? This is one fine-looking camera. Sure,
these days the Polaroid name makes us cringe a little. But hey, we
wouldn't be the first people to let somebody's good looks blind us to
their bad reputation. Our minds are made up. We're taking home the
Polaroid T737. We just hope we won't hate ourselves in the morning.
Warranty: One year
7-megapixel resolution - Provides as much
fine detail as 35mm film so you can make beautiful prints up to 11×14
inches or crop your photo for enlargement with no decrease in quality
3-inch color LCD screen - Oversized display makes it easier to compose your shots and review them
optical zoom, 4x digital - Digital and optical zoom allow greater
creative control since you can zero in on exactly what you wish to
include in the scene
16 MB internal memory and SD memory
slot - Use the built-in storage for your pictures or get an optional SD
card for even greater capacity
Image stabilization - Reduces blurring caused by unintentional camera movement or subjects in motion
Camera Style: Ultra-compact
Resolution: 7.0 Megapixel
Light Sensitivity: ISO 100, ISO 400, ISO 200, ISO 80, ISO auto
Shooting Modes: Frame movie mode
Special Effects: Black & White, Sepia, Neutral, Vivid, Blue, Green, Red
To paraphrase Karl Marx, until now, stereos have only serenaded the world. The point is to destroy it! This rampaging stereobot puts the "boom" in "boombox", levelling skyscrapers with beams of green sonic energy. And if those soundblasts don't get you, the giant pointy claws will. Gloria Estefan tried to warn the world that the rhythm was gonna get us. If only we'd listened!
This shirt was designed by: Lincoln, Nebraska artist and photographer Tony Persons, whose work can be seen on <a href="http://theacidproject.deviantart.com/">his deviantart page</a> and who can be <a href="mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org">contacted by email here</a>. Next time you wanna put down Nebraska, remember: at least one Nebraskan is cooler than you.
Wear this shirt to: warn the public about the robotic fifth columnists lurking in our stereos.
Don't wear this shirt to: anywhere where a stereo can see it. If they know you're onto their plot, not even Gloria Estefan herself can save you.
This shirt tells the world: "Terrorists destroying cities: bad. Giant robot speakers destroying cities: cute."
(2) C&T Cellars 2005 Rooftop Red Cabernet Sauvignon
(2) C&T Cellars 2006 Skinny Dip Sauvignon Blanc
Description: (click show to see it)
Dearest Martha -
We hauled in our biggest catch yet
today. As the cod flopped around on deck in their hordes, one stared up
at me with baleful silver eyes, struggling for breath yet somehow at
peace. I even detected a flash of sardonic wit somewhere behind its
mask of fishy complacency. It reminded me of you.
lately, everything reminds me of something back home in Napa. Remember
those bottles of C&T Cellars wine I brought along, to pass the long
lonely hours trawling the rugged Alaska seacoast? Oh, wait, that's
right: I took them without telling you. Sorry. Consider it payback for
that time you ate my last Toaster Streudel. Anyway, each bottle has
been a treasured companion as I seek my fortune at sea. With each sip,
I could practically see young Trent Moffett pounding out the vintage,
just like his folks taught him at Livingston Moffett. Good lad, that
one. He's got a good woman in Colleen, too. They'll go far.
popped open the first bottle of C&T Cellars 2005 Rooftop Red Cabernet
Sauvignon at sunrise, before a hard day's fish. (You'll recall that the
ability to drink wine while working was the main reason I took this
fishing job.) Its deep, dark fruit and spice aromas danced with the
last evanescent ghosts of the vanishing night, while the big, juicy
mouth of ripe blackberries and black cherries harmonized perfectly with
the flinty Northern dawn. Didn't do much for my chronic seasickness,
though. I suppose we none of us ever really own the things we consume -
we just rent them.
The other bottle of Rooftop Red was the
subject of heated contention one late night below decks. The salty old
seahands and I were gathered around the barrel for the nightly game of
Slapjack. Cappy, short of funds, threw one of his prized bronze
water-wings into the pot. Well, Chappy (different guy) had also opened
his pay envelope to the good-time girls of Juneau, and was similarly
skint of liquid funds. So he anted up a 1974 Topps Tom Hilgendorf in NM
condition. All I had close to hand was that second bottle of Rooftop
Red, with its well-balanced fruit and long finish. Slow to slap, I lost
the hand, and the bottle. But fortune smiled the next day when both
Chappy and Cappy were lost overboard in the face of a savage
nor'easter. Yes, I reclaimed my Rooftop Red. Dead men drink no wine.
But I tipped a little out for them.
An altogether different
mood surrounded my first bottle of C&T Cellars 2006 Skinny Dip
Sauvignon Blanc. Bounding along the frothy main, the catch plentiful,
the sun grinning stonedly down upon us, we passed around the bottle
like the buccaneers' grog of yore. Bright and acidic without burning a
hole in your gut, its well-structured, citrusy palate was sunshine in a
bottle. We sang like the Village People, in lusty praise of this divine
nectar. Then Clappy (different guy again) took inspiration from both
its name and its mood-altering powers, and stripped down to the skin
for a mid-day swim! Caught in the merriment of the mood, we all freed
ourselves from the bonds of our clothing and jumped in. In retrospect,
it was actually pretty gross, all those nude fishermen splashing
around. But what did we care on that glorious afternoon?
don't remember much about the other bottle of Skinny Dip. I downed the
whole thing in two or three swigs after a fishhook lodged itself in my
eye. It's a good thing I was born with two.
Aye, it's a
rough life out here among the whitecaps, and the battle with Demon Cod
never ceases. But those four bottles of C&T Cellars wine tethered
my heart and my tongue to sweet home Napa. To be sure, I ache with
longing for you; but even more so for more C&T Cellars. Don't take
it personally, my darling. If you'd ever had to make do with Alaskan
wine, you'd understand.
C&T Cellars 2005 Rooftop Red Cabernet Sauvignon
Harvest Date: October 4th - 19th
Blend: 75 % Cabernet Sauvignon, 16% Merlot and 9% Cabernet Franc