Aye, I be a laid-back corsair most of the time. But some things just stir up me gall, ye know? Ye don't gallivant around in a wheelchair if ye can walk. Ye don't panhandle with a tin cup and sunglasses if ye can see. And ye don't prance about on wooden legs if ye've still got the flesh and blood legs ye were born with. I suffered for the right to wear this pegleg! Me vigilante treatment of this pegleg poseur may seem harsh - but ye should see what I do to bilge rats what wear phony hook-hands.
This shirt was designed by: New York City-based graphic designer and web developer <a href="http://www.paradigm-attic.com/">Brian Eliseo</a>. He's done work for the New York Times, the American Lung Association, Pfizer, and...Shirt.Woot? Way to louse up an impeccable resume, Brian.
Wear this shirt to: put faux-pegleggers on notice.
Don't wear this shirt to: circuses or parades. Pro stilt-walkers don't take kindly to pirates calling them phonies.
This shirt tells the world: "It's not the size of your wooden proxy-leg that matters, but how you swing it."
We call this color: Authentic Imitation Wood-Tone Brown.
(2) C&T Cellars 2005 Rooftop Red Cabernet Sauvignon
(2) C&T Cellars 2006 Skinny Dip Sauvignon Blanc
Description: (click show to see it)
Dearest Martha -
We hauled in our biggest catch yet
today. As the cod flopped around on deck in their hordes, one stared up
at me with baleful silver eyes, struggling for breath yet somehow at
peace. I even detected a flash of sardonic wit somewhere behind its
mask of fishy complacency. It reminded me of you.
lately, everything reminds me of something back home in Napa. Remember
those bottles of C&T Cellars wine I brought along, to pass the long
lonely hours trawling the rugged Alaska seacoast? Oh, wait, that's
right: I took them without telling you. Sorry. Consider it payback for
that time you ate my last Toaster Streudel. Anyway, each bottle has
been a treasured companion as I seek my fortune at sea. With each sip,
I could practically see young Trent Moffett pounding out the vintage,
just like his folks taught him at Livingston Moffett. Good lad, that
one. He's got a good woman in Colleen, too. They'll go far.
popped open the first bottle of C&T Cellars 2005 Rooftop Red Cabernet
Sauvignon at sunrise, before a hard day's fish. (You'll recall that the
ability to drink wine while working was the main reason I took this
fishing job.) Its deep, dark fruit and spice aromas danced with the
last evanescent ghosts of the vanishing night, while the big, juicy
mouth of ripe blackberries and black cherries harmonized perfectly with
the flinty Northern dawn. Didn't do much for my chronic seasickness,
though. I suppose we none of us ever really own the things we consume -
we just rent them.
The other bottle of Rooftop Red was the
subject of heated contention one late night below decks. The salty old
seahands and I were gathered around the barrel for the nightly game of
Slapjack. Cappy, short of funds, threw one of his prized bronze
water-wings into the pot. Well, Chappy (different guy) had also opened
his pay envelope to the good-time girls of Juneau, and was similarly
skint of liquid funds. So he anted up a 1974 Topps Tom Hilgendorf in NM
condition. All I had close to hand was that second bottle of Rooftop
Red, with its well-balanced fruit and long finish. Slow to slap, I lost
the hand, and the bottle. But fortune smiled the next day when both
Chappy and Cappy were lost overboard in the face of a savage
nor'easter. Yes, I reclaimed my Rooftop Red. Dead men drink no wine.
But I tipped a little out for them.
An altogether different
mood surrounded my first bottle of C&T Cellars 2006 Skinny Dip
Sauvignon Blanc. Bounding along the frothy main, the catch plentiful,
the sun grinning stonedly down upon us, we passed around the bottle
like the buccaneers' grog of yore. Bright and acidic without burning a
hole in your gut, its well-structured, citrusy palate was sunshine in a
bottle. We sang like the Village People, in lusty praise of this divine
nectar. Then Clappy (different guy again) took inspiration from both
its name and its mood-altering powers, and stripped down to the skin
for a mid-day swim! Caught in the merriment of the mood, we all freed
ourselves from the bonds of our clothing and jumped in. In retrospect,
it was actually pretty gross, all those nude fishermen splashing
around. But what did we care on that glorious afternoon?
don't remember much about the other bottle of Skinny Dip. I downed the
whole thing in two or three swigs after a fishhook lodged itself in my
eye. It's a good thing I was born with two.
Aye, it's a
rough life out here among the whitecaps, and the battle with Demon Cod
never ceases. But those four bottles of C&T Cellars wine tethered
my heart and my tongue to sweet home Napa. To be sure, I ache with
longing for you; but even more so for more C&T Cellars. Don't take
it personally, my darling. If you'd ever had to make do with Alaskan
wine, you'd understand.
C&T Cellars 2005 Rooftop Red Cabernet Sauvignon
Harvest Date: October 4th - 19th
Blend: 75 % Cabernet Sauvignon, 16% Merlot and 9% Cabernet Franc