Hark! Gadget commentary draws near, along with other substances most
foul. Gaze deeply, if ye dare, into another installment of "Ask an
Incontinent Viking," the gadget column hosted by Fjafalgnjir the Vexed,
an 11th-century Danish warrior transported into a modern world he never
made. Of all the wonders of time travel, the loss of bowel control is
the least wondrous. But if you think Fjafalgnjir will be stopped by a
few inconvenient splashes here and there, well, you've obviously never
smelled the guy.
Q. I'm looking for a sleek, lightweight
wireless headset. My phone has Bluetooth capability, so that would be
an added bonus. But here's the thing: I want the best one I can find
for less than twenty bucks. Any advice?
A. Like a true
son of Gullveig the gold-bringing witch, you grasp treasure above all
else in life, and seek ill-gained advantage in all your dealings. Hey,
me too! I'm what the giant M�kkurk�lfi would call "a bargain-a-holic".
And verily, the loftiest of all Bluetooth headset bargains be the LG - er, stay yourself but a moment! 'Tis a tempest rages 'neath my tunic!
Whew...OK, I'm back...God, I think I need a glass of water after that one. Ugh. OK, so, yeah, the LG 710 Bluetooth
Headset. Truly a mighty battery indeed, to run for 5 hours of talk time
and 150 hours of standby! All the power of Freyja's war-swine
Hildisvini in a body yet scarcely larger than a single mead-bearing
teat of Hei�r�n, goat of Valhalla! Last-number redial, voice calling,
and call reject add up to a headset so desirable, it could make Helgi
Hundingsbane reject his valyrie beloved Sigr�n. In the LG 710, a miracle hath been worked by Odin, or one of his surrogates in the LG engineering department.
Q. Arrr, ye frosty-browed snow-lubber! Ye dare take the name of the fearsome Bluetooth in vain?
A. How speaks you? Who is this?
Q. Avast! The pirate Bluetooth, scourge of the waves, sea-wolf of the Antilles, Beelzebub himself on wings of rum and hemp!
Devil! How hast thou escaped the realm of music? Are you not confined
to the Wootcast as surely as the beast Mangog was imprisoned 'neath
Asgard, before the rock troll Ulik accidentally set it free (The Mighty Thor vol. 1, #154, July 1968)?
Guess not! Now prepare to be boarded! Aye, I and my gang of degenerates
shall despoil your gadget column in the vilest ways we can think of,
then help ourselves to all the riches within! I didn't change my socks
this month, just for you! Perhaps I'll use your little horn-helmet to
scrape away the crud ringing my barnacled ears! Believe me, they need
A. Darest thou presume to match might with
Fjafalgnjir in a battle of vileness? You may strain with effort to
befoul your surroundings, but all I need do is let nature run its
course. I summon this power now! Rise now, my oleaginous legions! Rise
in rank array against the invader! Much blood will be spilled this day,
along with stuff that's even grosser!
Q. Arr, you
weren't kidding! That is really gross! Avast, me rabble! Back to the
safe harbor of the Wootcast, smartly now! And remind me never to do any
Warranty: 90 days
Bluetooth® 1.2 compatibility for faster connections, better
audio quality, adaptive frequency hopping and improved interference
Also compatible with Bluetooth 1.1 and 2.0 devices.
Bluetooth® Class 2 wireless connection to Bluetooth compatible device up to 30 feet away.
Supports Bluetooth® Handsfree and Headset profiles
Multi-function button to control several functions
Volume up/down switch
Supports last number redial, voice dialing (if supported by phone), call reject and call waiting
LED indicates status of headset
Ear hook fits either ear
Ergonomic design combines light-weight and comfort. Adjustable ear loop fits left and right ears.
Up to 5 hours of talk time or 150 hours of standby
Universally compatible with all Bluetooth enabled phones from different manufacturers.
Comes with an AC power adapter to charge headset.
Got some updated prices? Click here and update them!
You are what you eat,
they say, and no one ever took that particular aphorism quite as
literally as Ouroboros, the autocannibalizing serpent! This mystical
symbol for infinity and the cyclical nature of things occurs in ancient
art all over the world, but never with quite so much winsomeness as it
Today's design came our way from the German streetwear company <a href="http://www.a-better-tomorrow.com/">A Better Tomorrow</a>.
They make shirts, they make wall stickers, they'll be making footwear
soon--but their most recent project was to make trans-Atlantic BFFs of
us woot-volk. We're well impressed by their huge network of deft Deutsche designers, one of whom created today's shirt.woot offering.
If you know what we know
about Pinot, then you know there's no place better suited to growing
Pinot Noir than Oregon's Willamette Valley. The growing conditions
there are like Plato's abstract conception of a tree: ideal. And Don
and Wendy Lange first plunged their fingers into the rich loam of the
Valley way back in 1987 - if they're not quite the Adam and Eve of the
Oregon wine scene, they're close. All that time, Don and his son Jesse have been chanting their mantra of "Structure, Texture, Balance", like a wizened,
wine-obsessed Mr. Miyagi teaching Daniel Russo the ancient secrets of the art. The structured, textured, balanced Lange
Estate wines prove they're not just crazy people. Let's see...two
resplendent Pinot Noirs, made by longtime Pinot Noir experts, from the
epicenter of Pinot Noir production...do we really need to say more?
then. Available for the first time anywhere, the Lange Estate Winery
2006 Pinot Noir Reserve grew up during the warm, dry summer of 2006,
the kind of exceptional growing season that many vintners would give at
least one finger for, maybe even an entire hand. Sparkling like a ruby
and smelling like a cherry, this gorgeous Pinot Noir delivers juicy
mouthfuls of candied apple, dried cherry, and red currant, with a side
of black tea. Things get spicy for the long, savory finish. The 2006
Pinot Noir Reserve may seem a little flashy, but like ol' Diz sez, it
ain't braggin' if you can do it.
Grown entirely on the Lange
Estate Vineyard in Dundee Hills (the birthplace of Oregon Pinot Noir),
the Lange 2005 Pinot Noir Dundee Hills Estate has already racked up 90+
ratings from the likes of Wine Review Online, along with accolades like
"Pinot pleasure in a glass". Who are we to argue? We'll just tell you
that this exceptional single-vineyard number is as silky and
full-bodied as a Victoria's Secret model, although it smells a lot more
like raspberries and plums. The palate? Imagine smoking lush black
cherries on a slab of slate rock. Then imagine that tasting fifty times
better than you think. It's like that.
We're aware that the
price tag on this Pinot duo is a little higher than usual around here.
Paradoxically, it's also a better bargain than we usually offer, too.
Not because of magic or alchemy or higher-order calculus - just because
these two superlative Pinot Noirs would be worth twice this price. Or
even more, if you're on a deserted island thousands of miles from the
nearest sommelier. But if that's the case, we probably don't ship
there. Sorry we even brought it up. We didn't mean to taunt you with
images of us luxuriating in the rapturous flavor cascade of this Lange
Willamette Valley Pinot Noir Duo.
Oh, one more thing: orders to certain states will take even tediously longer than usual, since we're trying to keep the wine from spoiling in the heat. Don't blame us, blame fossil fuel emissions. Because they don't have feelings.
Lange Estate Winery 2006 Pinot Noir Reserve
RELEASE DATE: September 1, 2007
HARVEST DATE: September 18 - October 25, 2006
CASE PRODUCTION: 2500 cases
AGING: 10 months in French Oak, approximately 20% new
Lange 2005 Pinot Noir Dundee Hills Estate
RELEASE DATE: November 17, 2006
HARVEST DATE: October 10 - 27, 2005
CASE PRODUCTION: 400 cases
AGING: 13 months in French Oak, approximately 40% new