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Wednesday, February 8th, 2012
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Description: (click show to see it)
We have set up the Pioneer 5.1 Channel A/V Receiver. Now we wait for it to receive the movie.
The prophets have said that the air is thickest with movies this time of year. At this very moment, they say, we are enveloped in an invisible swirling cloud of actors, plot lines, and special effects. What was that glint? That momentary burst of light? Was it simply light reflecting off a passing car’s windshield? Or was it a buddy cop film starring Bruce Willis and Robert Downey, Jr. attempting to make its way into our world? We may never have known if the prophets had not set up the Pioneer Receiver.
So now we wait. We wait for the Pioneer to catch the movie, to distill it into visuals and present it for us on our television. Yes, there is much that we don’t understand about the process, but we leave these things to the prophets. We hear them occasionally speaking in hushed tones about a DTS-HD Master Audio Decoders microphone that measures every speaker’s connection and notes its size, distance from the listening point, sound levels, and timbre to calibrate and maximize performance specifically for our room. We often eavesdrop when they discuss, amongst themselves, the 4 HDMI inputs or when they speak excitedly of movies that appear in three dimensions.
But we never ask for an explanation of these things because our understanding is not necessary for the Pioneer to receive the movie. We don’t need to know why we must bow down and pray for the holy Netflix envelope’s arrival. Nor must we know why the innocent disk that comes within it must be sacrificed to the hungry machine that is connected to the Pioneer. We must simply do as we’re told.
If we ask the prophets anything it is what they foresee the received movie to be. Sometimes they are presented with a clear vision of what is to come. Other times their view into the future appears to be cloudy, and they’ll speak with uncertainty, saying something such as, “Maybe Bring It On? Or Bring It On Again. Probably gonna be some cheerleaders. We’ll have to check the queue to be sure.”
The queue is another thing the prophets don’t explain. Warranty: 1 Year Pioneer
Features:
- Clean, compelling lines that have been streamlined to look as elegant, modern and state-of-the-art as the technology inside
- HDMI with 3D, ARC, Deep Color, x.v.Color: Supports the latest HDMI 1.4a specification, so not only do you get the most out of your existing movies and music, you’re prepared for the next generation of 3D video content
- 4 HDMI inputs (4 In / 1 Out): You’ve got plenty of connectivity options for the growing number of high-definition sources available
- Advanced HDMI conveniences: Like Audio Return Channel and HDMI Standby Through
- Dolby® TrueHD and DTS-HD® Master Audio Decoders: Gives your Blu-ray Disc® soundtracks unsurpassed audio quality and also includes all of the Dolby and DTS surround formats best suited for the wide variety of entertainment sources, including the newest Dolby Pro Logic IIz height channel
- Pioneer’s exclusive Multi-Channel Acoustic Calibration system (MCACC): Provides a near studio-quality, multi-channel listening experience customized specifically to your listening environment
- Included microphone: Measures every speaker’s connection, and notes its size, distance from the listening point, sound levels and timbre to calibrate and maximize performance specifically for your room
- Pioneer exclusive Advanced Sound Retriever: Even compressed audio such as WMA, MP3 and AAC is enhanced by filling in areas where minute details were left out during the compression process
- Auto Level Control: Eliminates jarring volume changes between your favorite songs, albums and audio sources by equalizing volume differences between portable audio tracks or television programming
- On-Screen Display: An intuitive on-screen menu for use with the included remote, so you can make guided adjustments to your home theater sound
- Bluetooth® Compatible: Fully ready for wireless Bluetooth audio from virtually any A2DP profile Bluetooth device, including iPod®, iPhone®, iPad®, smartphones, laptops, etc. (Pioneer AS-BT200 Bluetooth adapter required, not included)
- <a target="_blank" href="http://www.pioneerelectronics.com/StaticFiles/Manuals/Home/VSX-521-k_OperatingInstructions020711.pdf">Owner’s Manual</a>
Additional Photos:
In the box:
- Pioneer VSX-521-K 5.1 Channel A/V Home Theater Receiver
- Remote Control Unit
- (2) AAA Batteries (For Remote Control)
- Automatic Speaker Calibration Mic
- AM Antenna
- FM Antenna
- Instruction Manual
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Shirt.woot!
Description: (click show to see it)
Yeah, I’ve been ridin’ the rails since I was installed on the rails.
Listen, kid. You might think you’re one tough robot now, all alone against the world, but I’ve been around the block long enough to know you ain’t gonna make it long without a little kindness from your fellow bots. I don’t just mean handouts, neither. I’m talkin’ about the code.
The Robo Hobo Code! No one told you about the code? Aw, cripes, kid. You’re worse off than I thought. Listen, when you make your way from town to town you gotta notice the little things. Every robo hobo keeps a small laser engraver installed to be able to notch out a binary barcode on a fence post or a trash can or somewhere inconspicuous to let the others know what’s what. You don’t want to just stumble into some trouble, so we all use these codes as a way to help each other out.
For instance, if you see 01100001 00100000 01110000 01101001 01100011 01110100 01110101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100011 01100001 01110100, that means there’s a nice woman living at that place. So you can probably play on her sympathies and get a hot meal out of her, maybe some 10W30 or some synthetic diagnostic repair strips. And if you see 01100001 00100000 01110010 01110101 01100100 01101001 01101101 01100101 01101110 01110100 01100001 01110010 01111001 00100000 01110100 01101111 01110000 01101000 01100001 01110100, that means the same thing except it’s a malebot living there, so you’ll want to impress him with how you’re looking for work, got a family to feed, that sort of thing.
Take note if you notice someone’s engraved 01100001 00100000 01100011 01110010 01101111 01110011 01110011 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110100 01101000 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100011 01101001 01110010 01100011 01101100 01100101 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01110010 01100101 01100101 00100000 01100100 01101111 01110100 01110011 anywhere. That means there’s a mechanic nearby who will patch ya up for free. But if you see 01100001 00100000011000110110100101110010011000110110110001100101, move on. It means there’s nothin’ around worth checkin’ out. No, what you’re really lookin’ for is 01100001 00100000 01100011 01101001 01110010 01100011 01101100 01100101 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110100 01101000 00100000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01111000 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01101001 01110100. That’s the signal that there’s somethin’ to be had.
Be careful if you see 01100001 01101110 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100011 01101000 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110100 01101000 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100100 01101111 01110100 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01101001 01110100 anywhere, though. That means the robo-cops are out and lookin’ for types like us. See? It pays to know the signals, kid. And it’s robo-hobo etiquette to engrave them yourself for the next fella passin’ through as well. We maybe rejects of society, but we gotta stick together.
Wear this shirt: While petitioning to bring back that show BattleBots. Remember that show? That was kinda neat.
Don’t wear this shirt: If you could afford to donate it to the Robo-Goodwill.
This shirt tells the world: “I’m a leaking-engine robo-socialist.”
We call this color: From the rough silver of the tracks.
Design Placement: Centered
Design Size:
3X – S: 10” x 14.36”
WXL - K4: 7.5” x 10.77”
Pantone Color(s): – Black – White
Please check our <a class="modalPopUp sizingchart" href="http://shirt.woot.com/SizingChart.htm" title="http://shirt.woot.com/SizingChart.htm">sizing chart</a> before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.
Wine.woot!
Description: (click show to see it)
"Okay, how do we play?"
First, I turn on this super bright light and shine it in your eyes so you can't see. Then I give you a glass of wine and you taste it.
"And then."
There is no and then. That's the end of the game.
"What? I don't get it."
Oh, but it's so simple! Here try this 2005 Wind Machine Vineyard Zinfandel. What do you taste?
"I taste cherry, blackberry, zesty and spicy-pepper combined with earthy, tar and leather aromas."
Yeah, so Blind Taste is like that, but with the light I was just talking about.
"But why is the light involved?"
Because I have a big light.
"I don't think that's a valid reason."
Can we not argue about this right now? I'm just asking for your support, okay?
"Support?"
Look, I already feel terrible for buying a light I don't need, so the last thing I want is to have you rubbing it in my face.
"I'm sorry, I guess?"
I appreciate your apology, but not as much as I'd appreciate you playing Blind Taste Test with me to justify my purchase.
"Okay, fine. But you're the one tasting and getting blinded."
What? No way! That'd hurt my eyes!
Kids.woot!
Description: (click show to see it)
Son, I'm glad YOU think late February is the time to start goofing off, but for real football players, late February only means you give 100% instead of 110%! Maybe once you can grab like Mario Manningham you'll deserve a couple weeks off, but right now? You're in the prime training years! So come on, put down that video game and lets hit the backyard gridiron. Hurry up! MOVE!
Okay, now, here's the play. I'll be back here with the Coop Gription Football 2-Pack and I want you to head straight up the center, then buttonhook right, and then I'm gonna throw the first ball left and you're gonna cross and grab the heavy-duty stitching. Then the second you feel the super grip TPR technology against your palm, immediately break diagonal back towards me, because the second ball will be flyin' at you. Run hard and don't be afraid to dive. If you make it, you'll get a hand on the Coop Gription Football's real laces, and then it'll be first down.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! What do you mean with all that "it's not in the rules to use two balls at once" crybaby talk? Do you think the other team's gonna play by the rules? This is war, son! You want to play a game, we'll switch to baseball! No, no, come back here, we're not switching to baseball. Listen, son. Take a knee.
Son, I love you. You're the most important thing in the world to me this time of year, and you're in the top three between September and February. That's why I've got to be hard on you, do you understand? Because when you're out on that field, and you're down by four with ten seconds left, and the coach tells you to run that ball a hundred yards... well, son, I don't want you to have to tell him no. You're gonna be able to do the impossible, and when I look down from that skybox you're gonna buy me and wave, the TV people are going to say "There's a man who knows how to raise a great football player!"
So you ready now? You pumped? Yeah! YEAH! LET'S DO THIS, BABY! YEAH! BLUE SIXTY EIGHT! RED FORTY TWO! HERE COMES THE COOP GRIPTION FOOTBALL TWO-PACK SPECIAL! HUT HUT!
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